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Big City vs. Small City living.


I would rather live in...  

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Richmond, VA (197,456)

Wilmington, NC (90,644)

Charlotte, NC (580,597)

Providence, RI (175,901)

I haven't really lived in a big city. The population for Charlotte is misleading. Of the four cities above, Wilmington is the goal. Not a big traffic problem (yet), beaches, intracoastal waterway, and a growing University.

I love being in big cities, but I also love knowing that I can leave.

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I've lived in SF (I grew up in the tenderlion), LA, Portland (went to Reed College for three years), and NYC. In order of preference, I'd rate them as

1) NYC

2) SF (A distant second)

3) LA (such a distant third it really deserves to be more like tenth)

4) Portland (this one rates so low it really doesn't deserve a number)

So I guess I prefer big, dense, fast cities over small cities like SF, but I'd prefer a beautiful, slow small city like SF over a gross, ugly, superficial, sprawling city like LA, yet I prefer even LA to Portland. That town and I *really* didn't get along.

What did you dislike so much about Portland, J? I visited it a few times 2-3 years ago and liked the town just fine.

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Portland is fine for a week long visit. It boasts beautiful parks (Forest park in particular is amazing), good (and inexpensive) restaurants, and close porximity to some of the best vineyards in the country. Living there is a different matter entirely. I started explaining it in this post, but deleted it when I realized how snobbish it was. Suffice to say that I am accustomed to living in a cosmopolitan environment and am uncomfortable living in other types of cities. Honestly, I really just didn't connect with many of the people I met there. Different values, different interests, different priorities. Portland is a very slow town, and I find that people there tend to be content to let life happen to them, which is an acceptable choice, just not one to which I can relate.

I also tend to prefer compact, dense cities to overgrown towns with large-ish populations spread out over vast areas, like Portland. I don't know how to explain that one, as SF isn't exactly the most dense city around (in fact, having lived in NYC for several years now, I've come to regard SF as being more on the border of being a town and a city).

Edited by J Larsen
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SF sure is COMPACT, though, compared with most cities.

Those are interesting, and certainly understandable, reasons. So many places are great to visit but may not be your cup of tea to live in. Living in a place month after month, year after year, is a whole different prospect. For instance: Personally I find Boston to be a much better city to live in/near than SF. But I'm hear and stuck with it, so I might as well make the best of it. Give me a city (or big town) with good bookstores, four real seasons, and the kind of cultural resources brought in by a nearby college or university, and I'm a happy guy.

Edited by BruceH
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Give me a city (or big town) with good bookstores, four real seasons, and the kind of culteral resources brought in by a nearby college or university, and I'm a happy guy.

My feelings exactly.

I think as I've gotten older "quality of life" has surpassed the need to be "where it's all hap'nin". I loved living in Chicago but grew tired of the crowded big-city aspect, plus the fact that we couldn't have afforded the house we have in KC without going WAY out to the 'burbs. Now KC doesn't compare to Chicago in many ways (I miss my Cubbies and the Green Mill), but I must admit I like the slower pace and the ease with which I can get around. And yes, I love having all the seasons. The winter in KC is considerably milder than it was is Chicago, too, which is OK with me.

OTOH, I lived in Missoula, MT for a minute some years ago and while it was the most beautiful place I've ever lived, it was a little sleepy culture-wise. I guess I at least need some access to some city culture.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my trips to Chicago, NY, etc. I always get my creative batteries recharged. I just don't want to deal with the day-to-day dues and the inflated cost of living.

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Give me a city (or big town) with good bookstores, four real seasons, and the kind of culteral resources brought in by a nearby college or university, and I'm a happy guy.

I can relate to those thoughts as well. I spent six year going to school in Berkeley, CA., living on the East side of Berkeley, about four blocks from Cal, and it was a great experience. Tons of cultural stuff going on, plus the politics of Berkeley, great bookstores, record stores, free concerts, etc., It was a major life-learning experience. Of course, Berkeley was also dingy, had a lot of crazies and left over hippies, but all-in-all, it was a fun place to spend six years of my life.

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I live in a small city about 4-5 miles southwest of Ann Arbor (which I'm not sure is considered a big city-120K people in Ann Arbor proper, but about half a million if you count the surrounding townships, etc. To me it is mid-size), so I have the culture offered by the U of M, which is fantastic, great concerts, etc, and good bookstores and record shops. But I must say two of the best coffee shops I've ever been to are right here in Saline-the Drowsy Parrot and Sweetwaters. That is one thing that makes a city a good place to live- good coffee shops. I'd have to say metro Ann Arbor is a very fine place to live, if you can stand the uber-liberal politics of the place (which I can, but barely)

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I'd have to say metro Ann Arbor is a very fine place to live, if you can stand the uber-liberal politics of the place (which I can, but barely)

Well, I enjoyed Ann Arbor, where I went to school. But since then, I have lived in New York, Toronto and Chicago, which all have their different strengths. It looks like I will be in Chicago for the immediate future, though I really prefer the other two. I probably won't ever live in a city under 1 million again. (Actually both my wife and I are big city people though we don't always agree on which city!)

The books and CDs can all be ordered via the Web now, though there is still something to be said for going into all the different record stores and browsing and talking to the occasionally knowledgable clerks. For me it is the access to live culture and art museums, which does make the difference. Plus, we only have one car, which we rarely use. Avoiding having to drive is a huge plus for me.

Eric

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I am a big city man too, and they don't come much bigger than Tokyo. The greater Tokyo area, including Yokohama, has a population of around 25 million. Despite the size, Tokyo is remarkably clean and safe and everything runs like clockwork. Moreover, there is never any excuse to be bored in this 24 hour city. Biggest downside of course are the crowds.

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I've never lived anywhere but Brooklyn, which is itself somewhat urban& suburban depending on where you live. I've worked in Manhattan(NYC to most, but don't forget the other four boroughs) for over 20 yeaqrs, so I get the full NYC picture. I LOVE IT!!! I can't imagine living anywhere else. Sure, we have 8 million people squashed into a small space, but it's constantly alive and buzzin'. Where I live it's pretty quiet, so I have that peace that we all need.

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  • 1 year later...

..... The only time when I wasn't in a large city was when I had to move for about three years to a small town in Washington called Stanwood, pop. 1,800.  The people were great but there was NOTHING TO DO! .....

Being back here, it had escaped my mind how boring it is living in a small town, I mean, there is really nothing to do! Maybe I can keep looking at my Amoeba business card to keep myself sane.

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It depends on what you mean by "city" and "suburbs." The suburbs of Miami and LA are very different from the suburbs of older cities like NYC and Boston. Having grown up in the South Florida sprawl, I find a Boston suburb like Wellesley or Natick almost rural. There's tons of space between houses in many of these places, and lots of empty space between each "suburb." Nothing like the cookie-cutter suburb I grew up in...in Miami there are houses on almost every block until you start approaching downtown.

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Plain and simple answer for me, but you gotta follow the story.

We (Ann and I) were farm kids. We went to Iowa City (college town) and then Chicago. After a couple of years my job took us to Bloomington, Madison and Boston. Then we moved back to Chicago. A job opportunity in small town Michigan was offered when our kids were 9 and 13. We smiled on the gig and the chance to get the kids out of the big city. Job turned to shit in about 2 years but we had a house and didn't want to uproot the kids again. Now, 20 years after the move, We'd love to be back in Chicago but can't afford the city anymore. DAMN!

We would need another $20-30,000 a year to support the lifestyle. We do miss the food, art, music, etc but get by with the internet, Ann's cooking and Lazaro's recording sessions at the radio station.

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Plain and simple answer for me, but you gotta follow the story.

We (Ann and I) were farm kids. We went to Iowa City (college town) and then Chicago. After a couple of years my job took us to Bloomington, Madison and Boston. Then we moved back to Chicago. A job opportunity in small town Michigan was offered when our kids were 9 and 13.  We smiled on the gig and the chance to get the kids out of the big city. Job turned to shit in about 2 years but we had a house and didn't want to uproot the kids again. Now, 20 years after the move, We'd love to be back in Chicago but can't afford the city anymore. DAMN!

We would need another $20-30,000 a year to support the lifestyle. We do miss the food, art, music, etc but get by with the internet, Ann's cooking and Lazaro's recording sessions at the radio station.

Any preference, Boston or Chicago?

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Grew up in big city, then went to foreign biggish city, then foreign small city (town really) then to small US town, then schooled in big city, then back to small town, then to big city, then to small town, then to small city where I stayed. . . . (Though it has gotten larger around me). I guess small city is where I would stay, though I've recently discovered I wouldn't mind a larger one like Honolulu in due time. . . .

But my wife really prefers a larger city, being A D.C. area kiddo, and I forsee a big carefully considered location decision in our future in about five years. . . .

I voted for small city. . . .

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My experience is relatively limited: I was born and raised in Philly, and have spent significan amounts of time in New Brunswick, NJ and Traverse City.

As for small towns, I have to say that I like living in a world that is knowable. I don't like never having anonymity.

For big places, I love the cultural opportunity (food, people, culture). I don't like all the civic problems seeming intractible and the lack of a common context.

I voted "doesn't matter" because they both have their pluses and minuses. I think I'd probably be voting "big city" if not for the fact that I've spend a lot of my life in them, and I am actually enjoying the novelty of a small ltown at the moment.

--eric

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