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Nastiness & This Board


Guest Chaney

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I'm actually glad I don't have much time for this board anymore.

It used to be a nice place to hang out.

I don't get this. I don't see that much hostility here (other than minimal isolated incidents).

It depends where you hang out, I guess.

Sorry you feel this way. :(

It has nothing to do with hostility.

It has to do with a few individuals venting their frustration or whatever with life, the universe, their careers or whatever, pissing on everything and everybody, usually without giving it much thought. The atmosphere has turned sour and I've got better things to do than to read the "personal opinions" they so proudly defend.

Cheers!

P.S.: Am I the only one that has noticed that at least one frequent poster has left quietly because of this? Apparently, because everyone else has posted useless "happy birthdays" for him.

The ability to disagree, while at the same time respecting others differing views is obviously a skill or attribute most of us are simply not very good at, or just don't have. Sadly.

So simple conversations become slugfests, which then end up too often with pick-your-favorite-card being played. Racist, anti-semitic, or when really floundering around I guess, just toss out a nazi riff or two -- always a showstopper that one.

And to try and escape slight criticism by trying to equate that europeans have called Nixon a crook or Johnson a killer or whatever -- thus its okay to keep yanking that old nazi chain -- pretty weak really.

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P.S.: Am I the only one that has noticed that at least one frequent poster has left quietly because of this? Apparently, because everyone else has posted useless "happy birthdays" for him.

I may note that a person may not be posting here, but even if wishing them a happy birthday seems useless, I'll do it anyway. IMO, I'd rather have someone send me their good wishes (even if I don't get or read them) then to be forgotten.

I understand why people leave when it gets a little surly. My response is to keep posting and swing the place into a positive direction. I don't care if some look down upon my silly pictures/posts, it doesn't matter to me. I'm just happy to bring a laugh, even if you're laughing AT me.

I know I'm grateful for the friendships I've developed here. This is a great place and I know it will continue to be one.

Edited by AfricaBrass
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Locking a thread should be the responsibility of the board moderator, not anyone else. What I like about it is that history is preserved and information doesn't just vanish.

If at some point a new thread needs to refer to a locked thread, that can be done with a link.

I wish folks would police themselves and use good judgment - but what I have seen is that some people can't handle that responsibility. And I don't even know what's going on over in the political forum.

Mike

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uh...Sahara Blue, I think you missed something, oh nasty one. We discussed this - that the Nazi theme was a reference to another forum - but that's ok - go back to sleep -

Can't go back to sleep now, -- old "nasty-one" is wideawake -- but hey dragging guys comments from forum to forum and thread to thread gets pretty old pretty fast.

And given the title of this thread is "nastiness and this board" thought I would shake myself awake long enough to post a quick comment.

Of course, I am not at all startled to see that your reaction was measured and thoughtful.

Nor will I be shocked, if you find a way to respond to this, that somehow mentions the Aryan nation or something.

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I'm with AfricaBrass. There are so many people posting here whom I would gladly invite into my house (at least once, anyway ;) ) that it would be silly to name them. For me, the character of the board is essentially the same as it has been from the start. But then, I mostly frequent the threads about music and musicians, which are often very informative. RARELY does someone get to me to the point of making me surly. I've never felt good about those exchanges, so I usually choose to ignore a crappy post.

Edited by Joe G
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"If at some point a new thread needs to refer to a locked thread, that can be done with a link." [Michael Fitzgerald]

That's not too bad as long as there is also a link in the old thread to the new thread that is the continuation. Otherwise, when a reader gets to the end of a locked thread, he might not know that there followup posts in another thread.

Edited by Cornelius
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Here is the simple truth, folks. This board is what you make of it. The character of this board is determined by the people who post. If you do not like the direction the board is heading... well, sure you could jump ship. Or you could do your best to steer it in another direction.

How? By not responding to the negative. Or by reporting the post to me whereupon I could step in and say, "cool it" and/or close the thread if I thought it was necessary.

Or by posting positive things... threads about good music, threads about good movies, etc. If someone steps in and says, "that music sucks!" you just say, "That's nice..." and continue on.

I find myself sometimes getting heated, such as in a recent thread with Allen and I was amazed at how cool and level-headed Joe remained during the whole thing. After that experience, I've decided to try and be more like Joe and just skip over the negative parts of the posts or threads and just respond to the positive with more positive.

The best advice that I can think of, that we should all follow is:

a) If something gets you riled up, go away for awhile... an hour or two, maybe even a day... before posting.

b) Don't post anything that you wouldn't say to someone face to face.

I think this would solve a lot of the problems here. It's common civility.

This board cannot be all things to all people, but the tone of the place is set by you.

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one always get's a little defensive when cited as the example of "what not to do" - but I'm certainly glad to help out on the forum whenever I can. I have found that things I've said in jest have been taken a bit too seriously (probably my fault - I'll have to start using those happy faces). There also may be some generational things going on, and my political refernces may condemn me to geezerhood. In that thread with myself and Joe and b3 we certainly approached meltdown, but I think we basically agreed to disagree, which is definitely the right way to go. But I will say that Sahara's response to my political defense is somewhat symptomatic of our failure to see each other's point of view or to even attempt to do so (I was simply pointing out that politics is fair game for ridicule and satire, I was not playing some Nazi card, whatever that is). This is unfortunate but may be the inevitable result of a free exchange.

Edited by AllenLowe
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I think we just need to be nicer to each other. I felt really stupid after that exchange with you, Allen, because I didn't handle it in the best way.

As much as I tell myself, and try to remind everyone here, that this is just a forum, just some site on the internet which, if it went down tomorrow, would have no great impact on anyone's life... it's just not true. We get emotionally attached to these boards, for some reason, and when they change or people are mean-spirited, it's easy to get wrapped up in it.

I did not see what Chaney was initially talking about when he posted this, but I have seen it now.

We just need to be nicer to each other and let things slide more instead of getting all riled up over nothing.

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FWIW - The way I see it, creative thinkers piss people off some of the time (comes with the territory), dullards piss people off most of the time and the rest glide through.

I'd be disappointed if this became a site for gliders.

My head is spinning just trying to think of which group I'm in.

Please don't answer that. ;)

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b3 - yes, there were uncomfortable moments in that thread, but I'm sure I was as responsible as you were - things get tense in the heat of the moment, and there is something interesting and confusing about everyone posting at the same time, chronologies changing, and edits going on that change the post you may be responding to (I edit like crazy and would NEVER change a response to make someone else look bad, though I was accused of this once; the accuser and I have since made up, however). I have strong opinions, I know, and sometimes something typed in the isolation of a home office can come out differently than intended. I know that THIS thread will make me think twice about the TONE of what I post (sadly, I may have to stop making Nazi jokes; such is the legacy of the Producers). I will also let Martin Denny rest in peace, the poor guy has suffered enough (and I also have some regrets about the Leslie Gourse thread).

Edited by AllenLowe
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I find myself sometimes getting heated, such as in a recent thread with Allen and I was amazed at how cool and level-headed Joe remained during the whole thing. After that experience, I've decided to try and be more like Joe and just skip over the negative parts of the posts or threads and just respond to the positive with more positive.

Yeah, but then I lost my cool the next day! :w

^_^

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Guest Chaney

I'll place myself in that middle-pictured glider. But PLEASE, cushions! And maybe a foot stool of some kind. AND WHAT'S A GUY GOTTA DO TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE?! Sheesh!

Edited by Chaney
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