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Tjazz

Does anyone have a living will?

25 posts in this topic

Would you want to have feeding tube inserted into you, if you were brain dead?

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I've been thinking about this myself. While I've always been of the mind that death is going to have to drag me kicking and screaming off the stage, if the mind is gone, I have no interest in hanging around. And yet I haven't taken care of this yet...

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Well, I'm sometimes pretty close to that anyway, but NO

and neither would my sweetheart. A real shame this whole case...

especially with a husband who is legal guardian and closer to his wife's wishes...

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Sign me out when the lease is up. No biggie. I was somewhere before here, and I'll be the same after.

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I told my wife to unplug me when it's time, but please first make sure I'm not just taking a nap. :huh:

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A "Living Will" is not the correct term, I do believe.

What you need is called a "Health Care Proxy" that spells out what you would want if you can't communicate to doctors.

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I have an aunt who died recently. She'd been in a vegetative state for the past fifty years. I wouldn't wish that on ANYBODY.

If my brain isn't functional, I want to be let go. My wife knows my wishes, but I do need to put it in writing...

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50 years?

Oh man...

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Yep. She'd had a stroke at 17.

Edited by Alexander

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That sucks.

To put it mildly, and perhaps callously (unintentionally)...

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Both my Grandmothers died very old but with Altsheimer, or in other words - With no brain (or with Swiss cheese instead of brains).

I once thought I wanted to live to be as old as possible, but after seeing my Grandmothers, I would rather die a year before my brain dies.

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Would you want to have feeding tube inserted into you, if you were brain dead?

if its a 12AX7 / 7025....why not? :unsure: ....(sorry, couldn't resist!)

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A "Living Will" is not the correct term, I do believe.

What you need is called a "Health Care Proxy" that spells out what you would want if you can't communicate to doctors.

Actually, that is the correct term. From lawinfo.com: A living will, also known as an advanced health care directive, "is a document that sets out guidelines for dealing with life-sustaining medical procedures in the eventuality of the signatory's sudden debilitation." In some states, a living will allows you to appoint a person to act as a patient advocate to enforce your wishes. Perhaps that's where the confusion lies, since a "health care proxy" is a document that delegates to a specific person the authority to make health care decisions.

For those who are interested, you can download a living will form that's legal in your state for only 6.99 from this site: living wills

Btw, I've been informed by my family that I don't need a living will. They've assured me that they're going to pull the plug at the first opportunity! :(

Edited by jazzshrink

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Thanks for the correction and information.

I better check my will!

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Btw, I've been informed by my family that I don't need a living will. They've assured me that they're going to pull the plug at the first opportunity! :(

Ah, we can always depend on those who know us best... :lol:

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For those who are interested, you can download a living will form that's legal in your state for only 6.99 from this site: living wills

Jazzshrink, the description of a living will you provided is correct. But everybody, please please PLEASE do not put a decision respecting how you want end of life healthcare dealt with in the hands of a $6.99 form.

CAVEAT: I'm a trust and estates lawyer, and preparing living wills is a component of what I do for a living, although the following shouldn't be considered legal advice (sorry, I have to say that)

SECOND CAVEAT: I also do trust and estates dispute work, and I've been on the "other side" of this, seeing what can go wrong when people "thought they used the right form," etc.

I took a look at the forms for WA and PA, the two states in which I'm licensed, and from what I could tell (the samples have watermarks that render portions of the forms unreadable), the forms will _probably_ work; the problem is, with any "one size fits all" form, you run the risk of using a form that hasn't been updated to match your state's current statute, choosing incorrect options if the form allows you to do so, etc.

Clearly the readership of this board is sophisticated enough to understand forms that are available on the internet, but sometimes those forms, if signed, and the legal application of those forms, can have unintended legal impart and negative consequences.

I urge any of you who may be thinking about signing a living will to do so with the assistance of a capable attorney who can ensure the applicable statute is followed and that you understand the impact of what you're signing.

I'd be happy to discuss this further offline; just drop me a pm. Again, jazzshrink, i'm not trying to shit on your idea, and no offense meant, but I just wanted folks to know that I've seen what can happen when this kind of thing goes wrong.

PJ

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in the event of my death I am to be stuffed and placed on Roy Rogers's horse -

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in the event of my death I am to be stuffed and placed in Roy Rogers's horse -

This editing-other-people's posts is way fun! Great idea Allen! :g

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the whole story is very sad...

the family has been divided and everyone is upset with the other

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My living will is hardcore. Not only do I not want any tubes or ventilators, but my family doesn't even have to give me the Heimlich maneuver if I start choking at the dinner table. B-)

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A Living Will is important, BUT, please be aware that it is even MORE important that your next-of-kin (or whomever has your medical-power-of-attorney), that they be 100% sure of your wishes, and that they're prepared to carry them out too.

When my mother had a massive stroke early last year, my father and I thought her Living Will would make it clear to the doctors what her wishes were, and how to take action (or not take action). My father took a copy of her Living Will to the hospital, and gave it to the doctor in charge of her case.

And yet, for the several days that followed, my father and I were -- time and time again -- asked about her wishes, and we were asked to make life and death medical decisions for her. After the first two days, my father literally stopped going to the hospital, because at that point she was basically brain-dead, so it was just time to let nature take its course. My wife and I insisted on going every day (with or without my Dad), not because I felt any need to "be there" with my mother. But to have the daily conversation with her doctor, where we had to repeatedly make it clear what actions we did (and didn't) want to take place on her behalf.

A Living Will is important, but it is equally important that the person (or persons) making your medical decisions, that they follow the directives in your Living Will. Because what they say takes 100% precedent over the Living Will. If my father and I had said, "keep her alive, no matter what", then that's what the doctors would have done -- Living Will be damned. (We even asked about this (as a hypothetical), to get further clarification as to how the process worked.)

I'm not suggesting that people shouldn't get Living Wills. But they better damn well be sure they're family knows what to do when the time comes, and it would be helpful to discuss specifics with them (discuss various hypothetical situations with them), so they’re really clear about what you would want, and not want. And also so they don't have to mix up their own emotions in the decision-making process.

I've told my wife (and her parents), that if something catastrophic happens to me, by all means – please pull the plug on me (and don't agonize about doing it, either). My mother was that clear about her own wishes, and as a result, it wasn't difficult at all for my father and I to tell the doctors to unplug the machines.

Yes, get a Living Will. But also talk to your family about your wishes, and do it once ever 10 years or so (at a minimum). It's important that they know very clearly what it is that you would want, and it's better to have had that conversation once every decade or so (just to reinforce things), than to leave things to conversations that were maybe 20 or 30 years ago.

Edited by Rooster_Ties

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In answer to the orignal question, YES, I do have a Living Will. It is attached to my regular will, in a safety-deposit box, with copies of both forms to both my daughters. In addition, over the years I have told anyone, remotely close to me of my wish to be let go, with no extraordinary measures taken. Above all, I DO NOT want to be silent and confined to a hospital bed if there is no hope that I will recover from whatever catastrophe has befallen me.

However, the Heimlich manouver, should I be choking, is to be administered. I don't have a wish for an undignified death in a public restaurant or at the family dinner table. I also wish to be told to step away, should I be seen looking into a barrel of flammable material by the light of a match. Don't worry, in those circumstances, that you may hurt my feelings by pointing out my error in judgement. ;)

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All jazz records will be in the coffen.

In that case, I'll be buried in a moving pod. More expensive (if allowed) I would think. :rolleyes:

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I hope the standard in my case is higher than "brain functionality." Otherwise my wife would have put me down years ago... ^_^

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