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Wow. These really transformed the sound of my system.


Dmitry

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These "at the source" solutions are only a Band-aid on the real problem, which is that the air coming out of your furnace lacks acoustic sensitivity. Each molecule of air in your home is impeding your listening experience. You must treat the air at the furnace, filters and ducts (before it reaches the vents into your living space) to give the air the full "Listen-O-Matic" sensitivity treatment. Only then can it be said that you have really "heard" music for the first time. Each note seems to cling to each "Listen-O-Matic" treated molecule of air, and hang suspended for a moment around you, becoming a nearly tangible object.

Some listeners claim that they can "taste" each note of music playing in the air of a "Listen-O-Matic" treated room. It is more common that listeners say that they can "smell" each note, or feel that they can reach out and grab each note out of the air in a "Listen-O-Matic" treated room. If you see a crowd of people grabbing and swatting at the air when music is playing, you know that they are experiencing the benefits of "Listen-O-Matic" treated air.

This patented process can be installed in your home, office or other living space for a suggested retail price of $1,999.95. If you are a music lover, it will be the best $1,999.95 you ever spent! Just think, you spend that much on CDs in a month--do yourself a favor and substitute the "Listen-O-Matic" treated air system for one month instead!

You know, there's a much cheaper method for acquiring Listen-O-Matic air. Do what I do.

Get yourself a 55 gallon metal drum. Preferably without any dents. Take it to your local Circuit City store, and walk into the speaker demo room. You must wait until all other occupants have left the room, whereupon you can open the lid, hoist the drum up in the air, and spin around, thereby filling it with Circuit City's Listen-O-Matic air. Cap lid on 55 gallon drum and depart Circuit City. Be careful not to be stopped by the guys in the red shirts.

Once home, you can uncork your 55 gallon drum and let the Listen-O-Matic air fill your listening room. Of course, it will mingle with the normal air molecules in your room, causing about a 10-20% loss of quality, but in the long run you have saved most of the $1,999.95.

Edited by Aggie87
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These "at the source" solutions are only a Band-aid on the real problem, which is that the air coming out of your furnace lacks acoustic sensitivity. Each molecule of air in your home is impeding your listening experience. You must treat the air at the furnace, filters and ducts (before it reaches the vents into your living space) to give the air the full "Listen-O-Matic" sensitivity treatment. Only then can it be said that you have really "heard" music for the first time. Each note seems to cling to each "Listen-O-Matic" treated molecule of air, and hang suspended for a moment around you, becoming a nearly tangible object.

Some listeners claim that they can "taste" each note of music playing in the air of a "Listen-O-Matic" treated room. It is more common that listeners say that they can "smell" each note, or feel that they can reach out and grab each note out of the air in a "Listen-O-Matic" treated room. If you see a crowd of people grabbing and swatting at the air when music is playing, you know that they are experiencing the benefits of "Listen-O-Matic" treated air.

This patented process can be installed in your home, office or other living space for a suggested retail price of $1,999.95. If you are a music lover, it will be the best $1,999.95 you ever spent! Just think, you spend that much on CDs in a month--do yourself a favor and substitute the "Listen-O-Matic" treated air system for one month instead!

You know, there's a much cheaper method for acquiring Listen-O-Matic air. Do what I do.

Get yourself a 55 gallon metal drum. Preferably without any dents. Take it to your local Circuit City store, and walk into the speaker demo room. You must wait until all other occupants have left the room, whereupon you can open the lid, hoist the drum up in the air, and spin around, thereby filling it with Circuit City's Listen-O-Matic air. Cap lid on 55 gallon drum and depart Circuit City. Be careful not to be stopped by the guys in the red shirts.

Once home, you can uncork your 55 gallon drum and let the Listen-O-Matic air fill your listening room. Of course, it will mingle with the normal air molecules in your room, causing about a 10-20% loss of quality, but in the long run you have saved most of the $1,999.95.

Oh, THAT'S why all of those people are always sprinting out of Circuit City holding those big barrels over their heads!

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I think all you guys with the barrels are just full of hot air. ^_^

Oh no, one of the absolute prerequsites of the Listen-O-Matic system is that all of the air in the listening space must be kept at 60 degrees or lower for an optimal listening experience! If the air is hot, you might as well be listening to completely untreated air!

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So, if you can "smell" the notes, what happens when you put on some Parliment Funkadelic?

Only a few people smell different smells depending on the differences in the music. Those are the same people who are said to have perfect pitch but actually have a cross-over in their senses, where they see notes in different colors or smell them in different smells as they play their instruments.

For everyone else, it has been a common observation that the notes have a faintly metallic smell in a Listen-O-Matic environment, distinct and not unpleasant.

For the few who smell different smells with different music, there is no reported professional literature specifically commenting on Parliament Funkadelic. The only article on the entire subject described a double blind test in which a Liberace album smelled like pink cotton candy to 69 per cent of the special participants, and like white cotton candy to the other 31 per cent.

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I am currently a participant in an olfactory study. Apparently, I use something very similar to sonar to detect underwater scents. I don't quite understand it, I've just always been able to smell underwater. And accurately.

Does it smell fishy down there?

oh yeah. aqua boogie baby.

I am Sir Nose D'Voidoffunk. I can't swim. I never could swim! I never will swim.

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  • 10 years later...

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