How did you guys meet your significant other?

[trane_fanatic]

This is quite an unusual question indeed for a jazz message board, but I'll give it shot. I'm at an age (31) where thoughts about settling down arise.

After my most recent dating experience (which started off very promising, but became a nightmare) of 2 1/2 months abruptly ended this week (let's just say this particular woman had a nasty side to her that erupted), I'm seriously losing hope that I'll find my better half.

How did you folks meet your partner/spouse? Just wondering...

And... have any of these online dating sites ever worked for you fellow O-heads?

Sorry for sounding like a softie.

Edited September 16, 2007 by trane_fanatic

[danasgoodstuff]

We were both working in a now defunct redcord store; just another reason to lament the demise of bricks & mortor...

[GregK]

I was a Teaching Assistant while in grad school. I ran two chemistry labs, one for chemistry undergrads and one for general science undergrads. I started dating a girl in each, and ended up marrying one of them!

[Chuck Nessa]

Saw my wife across study hall when I transferred to a new school. That was 48 years ago.

[Chuck Nessa]

I was a Teaching Assistant while in grad school. I ran two chemistry labs, one for chemistry undergrads and one for general science undergrads. I started dating a girl in each, and ended up marrying one of them!

So you had "control/power" over each of them.

[Robert J]

Also academically. In a philosophy class at University.

[Tim McG]

Nearly 26 years ago, my wife and I met completely by chance at a college bookstore. She was a student, I was working a second job as a dock worker/cashier/warehouseman at the bookstore.

Her long, flowing, beautiful hair, light blue eyes and shapely/athletic figure just floored me. I was hooked almost immediately.

I made a flimsy excuse to go stack some books, but I really went to go find her. We started talking and, well, the rest, as they say...is history.

[ejp626]

I don't talk about it too much, but my wife and I met through the personals (she placed it). We're from much different backgrounds than if I had met someone in my natural haunts (grad school/art world) but there are good aspects to that as well as some frustrations. Anyway, we've been together about 9 years (married 6) with 2 kids. So it can work out.

[Tim McG]

BTW...my best friend, who just went through a nasty break-up with his live-in girlfriend of 10 years, has been doing the online dating thing with Harmony.

Some hits, some misses....but a helluva lot to choose from, he says.

Edited September 16, 2007 by GoodSpeak

[Patrick]

in the clarinet section in the university wind ensemble...

[Dan Gould]

Chalk one up for Match.com. I responded to her profile, which referenced Ella Fitzgerald, and the rest is history. Well, maybe not history but it will be six years of marriage a week from today.

You can actually chalk another one up to Match, my best friend met his wife through the service as well.

[Alexander]

My wife and I met in high school when I was in the eleventh grade and she was in twelfth. We were friends all through my junior year, and while I was attracted to her, we were never romantically involved. In fact, she was dating one of my best friends during most of that time. The following fall, I was visiting potential colleges and I wanted to visit the school she attended (Boston University). Her boyfriend (and my friend) went to the same school, so we all got together when I visited and hung out. Her boyfriend ditched us to go play D&D with some guys from MIT, so we went back to her dorm to hang out and wait for my dad to show up. At first, we went to a party on her floor, but we quickly got bored with that scene. We went back to her room (it's not like you think!) and just sat around talking until my dad came to get me. After I left (she reports), she called her boyfriend (with whom she had been having problems. Even though they attended the same school, they saw each other rarely) and broke up with him. Two weeks later, she came home for Thanksgiving and we "hooked up" as the kids say today. That was nineteen years ago, and we've been together ever since. Not bad for a rebound fling!

Edited September 16, 2007 by Alexander

[rostasi]

We met at the very first Dallas Video Festival 20 years ago.

I usually don't go to these kinds of things,

but I had composed the soundtrack to a film

that was premiering that evening.

The filmmaker introduced us.

Later, we discovered that even tho we had the

same friends in college, we had never met each other.

For example, we both saw the Sex Pistols

at the same venue in January '78,

but, again, didn't know each other.

R~~

[Hot Ptah]

We met when she answered an ad on a bulletin board to sublet part of our student apartment. We have been married for 25 years, with two children.

We later figured out that we had attended the same Ry Cooder/Randy Newman concert in the fall of 1974, at the University of Wisconsin Union Theater, which was eight years before we met.

Edited September 16, 2007 by Hot Ptah

[Noj]

I'm in the same boat as trane_fanatic. 31 and can't seem to meet the right gal...

[clifford_thornton]

Me neither.

I'm 30, in grad school, move around a lot and can be rather irascible. I can't say that 97% is not my own (un)doing.

But it gets lonely out there.

[Guy Berger]

Me neither.

I'm 30, in grad school, move around a lot and can be rather irascible. I can't say that 97% is not my own (un)doing.

But it gets lonely out there.

Grad school is a great place to meet intelligent, pretentious, weird-looking women.

Guy

[Jim Alfredson]

I met my wife at a wedding gig way up in northern Michigan. She was a bride's maid. The minute she walked in, the entire room disappeared. I could not take my eyes off her. On the break she came and introduced herself to me. After the gig, I mustered up enough courage to give her my phone number and tell her that I wanted to take her out to dinner. I had no idea where she lived; she could've lived up north. But I wanted to see her again anyway. Luckily she lived in Lansing like me! We married a year (to the day we met) later. It's been 5 years as of yesterday (Sept. 15th). I'm proud to announce that we have a second baby on the way (Zora, our first, is three years old now! Can you believe it?)

One thing I will say: I was always very shy and unsure around women. All through high school and college I had some self-confidence issues. I lived in Ann Arbor for almost 2 years and about two weeks before I moved back to Lansing I finally just had enough. I decided that I was tired of being shy and I was going to be outgoing with women, confident in myself, and that I was a good catch!

During the next two weeks I had two ex-girlfriends try to get back with me (no thanks), another girl trying to get with me (she was nice, but not my type) and then, just as I moved back to Lansing, I met my wife.

You got to love yourself before you can be loved, I guess that's what I'm trying to say. You have to be secure in your own skin, you know? It took me awhile to figure that out.

[mikeweil]

One thing I will say: I was always very shy and unsure around women. All through high school and college I had some self-confidence issues. I lived in Ann Arbor for almost 2 years and about two weeks before I moved back to Lansing I finally just had enough. I decided that I was tired of being shy and I was going to be outgoing with women, confident in myself, and that I was a good catch! .....

You got to love yourself before you can be loved, I guess that's what I'm trying to say. You have to be secure in your own skin, you know? It took me awhile to figure that out.

Tell it to 'em, Jim! That's the truth!

I went through hard times during my first university years for the very same reasons.

This year in August we're married for 10 years. We met at a dance therapy workshop where I was playing, but nothing happened. But she organized another workshop in her hometown three months later, and I stayed in her guest room, she made dinner for me, and we had some time to talk and found we shared attitudes on a lot of things. Next she attended a gig I played near her town - 350 km from where I lived - and there were long intermissions so we had more time to talk, sitting on a bench outside enjoying the last warm and sunny day of the year.

My girlfriend at the time was 7 months pregnant at the time, but it was a very difficult partnership, and a few months later I threw in the towel (as a consequence I haven't seen my daughter since she was four months old ...).

When I told her I split on the phone she almost dropped the receiver (so she admitted years later). But it took months before we could meet again as one was always occupied on weekends. She then spent her Easter vacation at my place instead of going to Prague, and a few weeks later I told her I wanted to call her my wife in some café - she almost fell over ..... We married in August. She looked for a new job near my place - I couldn't move since I was responsible for my mother living in the same house - and moved here in late September.

She always bugs me she wants to re-marry me as for various reasons we had only a small party and ceremony at the time .....

When you meet the right person you simply know that you want to marry her - I never had felt that wish before. And without her I wouldn't have been able to go through a lot of awful things over the years.

[Swinger]

I'm 31 years old and i haven't met the right woman yet. I've had two very short relationships. I'm using two Finnish online dating services but so far there's not been any luck. Most of those women are looking for "perfect man" with academic degree,perfect body etc and they are not willing to lower their standards (I know, I've asked them!)

I don't hang around in bars but I attend rock/pop/jazz concerts quite often but I haven't found the right one yet. I also try to look for women in a local bookstore but no luck so far.

[vibes]

You got to love yourself before you can be loved, I guess that's what I'm trying to say. You have to be secure in your own skin, you know? It took me awhile to figure that out.

Very wise words.

[vibes]

I was my wife's manager at the job I had while I was working on my bachelor's degree. I managed market research projects in a call center, and she was one of the dialers. On difficult surveys, like the one I happened to be managing at the time (Viagra), there was a lot of downtime. When things were going especially poorly, I would sit down and make calls with the dialers. So, I talked to her a lot between calls, and that's how we got to know each other.

On especially slow days, we would call friends and family to fill our survey quota. She's heard a lot more about my relatives' sex lives and difficulty "getting it up" than she ever wanted to.

We got married three months after I graduated. I was 25, she was 19. We've been married for six years now.

The only advice I would have based on my own experience is to look for someone with a similar background to yours, in experience and/or education and more. Our differences (cultural, socioeconomic, educational--she never went to college and I'm half-way through my master's degree--and now religious, as I officially left our religion last year) have put a major strain on our relationship.

[jazzbo]

I first saw my wife on the first day of college for both of us at the University of Chicago in 1973. She was gorgeous and sophisticated and I was shy and socially inept (that's not exactly how she viewed us but how I felt).

I managed to meet her in a short time, and in a while we went out a few times, but I just couldn't successfully romance her. I romanced others with more success in the following years. But I kept in touch with her over the next seven years, and I knew from the moment I saw her that I'd love to spend my life with her. Just knew it, don't ask me how or why.

In 1980 I moved to Austin from a small town in Ohio and she moved from Chicago to Boston. We didn't know where the other had gone, we'd moved quickly at the same time. In December 1989 she looked, found my parents' address, called, got my number, called me in Austin, and we started talking constantly on the phone, visiting each other, and in six months she had moved to Austin and we've been together through thick and thin, and boy do I mean that, ever since. She's the one.

Edited September 16, 2007 by jazzbo

[sidewinder]

jazzbo - you are a lucky man.

[GregK]

I was a Teaching Assistant while in grad school. I ran two chemistry labs, one for chemistry undergrads and one for general science undergrads. I started dating a girl in each, and ended up marrying one of them!

So you had "control/power" over each of them.

That's definitely not the case now (and it wasn't then, either). I have no say anymore. These two "little people" running around my feet all day are the ones in control!