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Friday is Talk Like a Pirate Day


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Avast there ye swabs! I be readin' this here thread and wonderin' what all this pirate nonsense be about, till I take the test to find out me own pirate name, and I end up talkin' like this! Arrrrrr!!!

Here be me own pirate name. May strike fear into the hearts o' all who plunder these seven seas! Arrrrrr!!!!

"Your pirate name is:

Iron Roger Flint

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you are that person. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!"

Arrrr!!! So Iron Roger Flint I be. An' if any o' you swabs think that ye're man enough to cross swords wi' me, I'll cleve ye through the brisket, ye Cake eatin' Sodomites!

Now run up the Jolly Roger, an' ready the plank! We're burnin' moonlight! Heave to, me hearties! Weigh anchor an' break your backs!!!

Edited by Alexander
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Here's a pirate's review of "Kind of Blue" as translated from ye ol' AMG...

The pirate speaks,"Kindo'Blue isn't merely an artistic highlight for Miles Davis, it's an album that towers above its peers, a record generally considered as t'definitive jazz album, a universally acknowledged standardo'excellence. "

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And here's a review for Hank Mobley's "The Flip"...

The pirate speaks,"Hank Mobley recorded his second-to-last session in Paris in 1969, with a combinationo'European and American musicians. T'sextet on T'Flip featured Mobley, trumpeter Dizzy Reece, trombonist Slide Hampton, pianist Vince Benedetti, bassist Alby Cullaz and drummer Philly Joe Jones. Unlike its predecessor, Reach Out, thar's little attemptt'commercialize Mobley's sound, and he stickst'straight-ahead hard bop throughout t'session. "

I must say, I agree!

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The Red Shirt Of Courage

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.

Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

Once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."

The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way.

The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!"

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A Pirate Joke

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?

"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"?

"A seagull dropping fell into my eye.", replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well...", said the pirate, "..it was my first day with the hook."

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I think we're related RDK -

My Captain name is Captain Sam Rackham

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

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Before I add a post, I just have to take a moment to say that this very well may be the SILLIEST thread yet:

"Hello, my name is Iron James Read and I'm a pirate..."

Had to do a Pirate Translation on a Dusty Groove catalogue description:

The pirate speaks,

"John Patton -- Got A Good Thin' Goin' . . . CD . . . $10.99 List Price: $11.98

(Item: 51439) Blue Note, Mid-60s Condition: New Copy View Cart

A classic by Big John Patton! T'master organ player be joined by Grant Green on guitar, and t'much-overlooked drummer Hugh Walker -- a fantastic player on t'kit, little known, but who played with this incredible "skippin'" groove -- one that sounds that reminds us a loto'someo't'work that Joe Dukes did with Jack McDuff in t'60s! There's no bass on t'set at all -- and Walker's drums combine with added conga from Richard Landrum -- givin' t'songs an extra roll, and a modal approach that expands Patton's sound past his usual gutbuckety soul jazz!"

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FINALLY! I looked for these earlier today but couldn't find them until tonight (or this morning, however you look at it) but in any case HERE THEY ARE:

The lyrics to one of the worst, cheesy-ass songs ever written. Music by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer and lyrics by Peter Sinfield.

Pirates

"Who'll make his mark," the Captain cried,

"To the Devil drink a toast?

We'll glut the hold with cups of gold

And we'll feed the sea with ghosts!

I see your hunger for a fortune

Could be better served beneath my flag.

If you've the stomach for a broadside

Come aboard my pretty boys!

I will take you and make you

Everything you've ever dreamed.

Make fast the guns tonight we sail

When the high tide floods the bay!

Cut free the lines and square the yards

Get the black flag stowed away!

The Turk, the Arab, and the Spaniard

Will soon have pennies on their eyes

And any other laden fancy...

We will take her by surprise

I will take you and make you

Everything you've ever dreamed..."

Six days off the Cuban coast when a sail ahead they spied

"A Galleon of the treasure fleet!" the mizzen lookout cried.

"Closer to the wind my boys!" the mad eyed Captain roared,

"For every man that's alive tonight will be hauling gold aboard!"

Spare us the galleon begged

But mercy's face had fled

Blood ran from the screaming souls

The cutlass harvested

Driven to the quarter deck the last survivor fell

"She's ours, my boys," the Captain grinned

"And no one left to tell!"

The Captain rose from a silk divan

With a pistol in his fist

And shot the lock from an iron box

And a blood red ruby kissed

"I give you jewelry of turquoise,

A crucifix of solid gold,

One hundred thousand silver pieces

It is just as I foretold!

You, you see there before you

Everything you've ever dreamed!"

Anchored in an indigo moonlit bay

Gold eyed 'round fires the sea thieves lay

Morning, white shells and a pipe of clay

As the wind filled their footprints

They were far, far away

Our sails swell full as we brave all seas

On a westward wind to live as we please

With the wicked wild eyed woman

Of Portobello town

Where we've been told

That a purse of gold

Buys any man a crown

They will serve you and cloth you

Exchange your rags

For the velvet coats of kings

"Who'll drink a toast with me

I give you liberty

This town is ours - tonight!"

Landlord wine and make it the finest

Make it a cup for a sea dogs thirst

Two long years of bones and beaches

Fever and leaches did their worst

So fill the night with paradise

Bring me peach and peacock

'Till I burst, but first, I want a soft touch

In the right place

I want to feel like a king tonight

Ten on the black to beat the Frenchman

Back you dogs give them room to turn

Now open wide sweet Heavens gate

Tonight were gonna see if Heaven burns

I want an angel on a gold chain

And I'll ride her to the stars

It's the last time for a long, long time

Come the daybreak we embark

On the flood of the morning tide

Once more the ocean cried

This company will return one day

Though we feel your tears

It's the price we pay

For there's prizes to be taken

And glory to be found

Cut free the chains ake fast your souls

We are Eldorado bound

I will take you

For always, forever, together

Until Hell calls our names

"Who'll drink a toast with me

To the Devil and the deep blue sea

Gold drives a man to dream!"

The music is even worse than that...

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Guess nobody but brother Joe knows the ELP song. Consider yourselves lucky.

On another tangent, there was this neat game I used to play when I was kid on the Commodore 64 called "Pirates!" by MicroProse. You basically started out as an apprentice and then moved up the ranks by sailing the seas, plundering towns, buying off the local governor and finding ships at sea to rob. It was great fun.

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Well, it's Monday now, the topic is becoming old, and no-one has commented, so here is where the stereotype Poyret accent comes from.

It's called a West Country English accent - such counties as Cornwall, Devon and Gloucestershire have it, at least theoretically. But it isn't as common as it used to be. Nor is the heavy Yorkshire accent that you hear on the James Herriot vet series on PBS.

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It's called a West Country English accent - such counties as Cornwall, Devon and Gloucestershire have it, at least theoretically. But it isn't as common as it used to be. Nor is the heavy Yorkshire accent that you hear on the James Herriot vet series on PBS.

Add Somerset ('Acker-land'), Dorset and Wiltshire to this list. I can vouch whole-heartedly that 'pirate speak' is well and truly alive and kicking in these 'ere parts. Devon and Somerset especially ! :rsmile:

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