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Guilt and self-doubt


TheMusicalMarine

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It's been some time since I've actually posted (and I should probably change my handle to something more civilian-esque), and a cursory search of the board tells me that I've used "guilt" in a topic title before (and the only one, at that), but so be it, I'm a guilt-ridden guy.

Since my discharge in June 2007 and the concomitant termination of significant disposable income, I've done my best to avoid the compulsive purchases that typified my first couple years as a self-proclaimed jazz aficionado; for example, in the month before my first deployment, I spend somewhere around $7,000 on the music. Believe me, that's no boast. Anyway, I spent the last two years in college, living off the GI Bill and some savings, limiting my jazz purchases to BMG/Yourmusic deals and the occasional Mosaics (the Tal Farlow, once it hit running low). Hopefully I'll be accepted into a graduate program for this coming fall, but for now I'm unemployed but possibly on the verge of being employed. I have some cushion, in the forms of remaining savings and long-term stocks (which I will not touch anytime in the next few decades), and everything seemed to be going okay. I was shopping at ALDI (the best damn food deal in my neck of the woods), watching Netflix with the gal pal instead of paying ten bucks to see current films, etc. Everything was fine.

Black Friday has triggered a relapse into my old buying habits. I bought 4 of the JSP Waller sets and a few VSOPs on DeepDiscount; the Eddie Condon, Chris Connor, Jimmy Giuffre, John Lewis, some MJQ titles, and a few OJCs that I didn't have at Oldies.com (sale!); and the 1950s Teagarden and Shorty Rogers Mosaics on Ebay. Maybe 700 bucks in the last week. I can afford it, but just barely/not really.

While I look forward to enjoying the music, I can't help but feel that this will be a never ending cycle. Months or a year of relative frugality, followed by frenzied buying. I'm partly motivated by the knowledge that the music that was available on cd four years ago is now out of print, and partly motivated by the realization that, although my collection has grown considerably in the five or so years that I've been avidly into the music, I'll never have it all, and therefore must get as much as possible before...before death or children or something else, I'm not sure.

I've read the thread about jazz as an addiction/having more than one can ever really get to know, and it is certainly comforting. I'll never go broke because I can't refrain from buying, but I still feel it's unhealthy. On the other hand, aside from following politics (free) and working my way through official histories of WWII (also free, via the library), jazz is the only thing I do in my free time.

Does anyone have any comforting words of wisdom or cutting but hopefully helpful criticisms? Either are most welcome.

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If you won't go broke, you seem to have it under control. Keep that attitude, when the kids come along, and you won't go far wrong. You may need a bigger house, though :)

Oh, and once you start getting into the different kinds of music from Africa, you're in deep shit! Jazz is a very limited kind of music to follow, in terms of how big your collection can be.

MG

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I think that if you are not married and have no children, you are free to spend as you choose, and as long as you are not hurting yourself financially, you should not worry so much about it.

One good thing about collecting records and CDs--they are relatively inexpensive per item, compared to other things which can be collected. There are collectables which go for thousands of dollars per item, in other areas of human endeavor. A binge with something like that can be truly costly. With music, even if you buy a huge amount, it is difficult to get into the multi thousands of dollars at a time.

There has to be some fun and enjoyment in life.

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One good thing about collecting records and CDs--they are relatively inexpensive per item, compared to other things which can be collected. There are collectables which go for thousands of dollars per item, in other areas of human endeavor. A binge with something like that can be truly costly. With music, even if you buy a huge amount, it is difficult to get into the multi thousands of dollars at a time.

There has to be some fun and enjoyment in life.

As long as you do not get addicted to buying Hank Mobley or Lee Morgan Blue note first pressings, that is ... :D :D :D (See thread elsewhere here ...)

Otherwise, sound advice in Hot Ptah's post here.

Something I can relate to as well as I've recently speeded up my music buying too, and this for a number of reasons:

1) Some items just don't get any cheaper anymore at the current US$ to Euro exchange rate.

2) Who knows what inflation is going to be like in years to come so if some purchase has been on your agenda anyway, why not do it now as long as you do not overstretch your limits too far ...

3) Some not so old CDs have started commanding silly prices on the web too so grab them before that hits YOUR topmost wanted items too.

4) Working off some long-held wants lists and browsing through the review sections in some not THAT old music mags has made me realize that a LOT of what has been issued/reissued and has come to be taken for granted "for future purchase" just disappeared in a whiff and went OOP in no time at all so you really have to search high and low in order to find a copy for you after all.

5) Who knows what the pending change of European copyright/public domain legislation might do with certain reissues? Better act now just to play it safe.

6) Somehow I've found secondhand vinyl (even if not top colectible items) in decent condition bought at a good price in the long run never has been that bad an investment. Wish other purchases (and/or stocks) had maintained their value like that as well ...

7) Has any music collector ever really, really had "enough" music?

Feel free to take your pick among the above if you need an "excuse" for more purchases.

P.S. @MG:

Ha, like minds, I see! :D :D

Edited by Big Beat Steve
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I can totally relate... I am wrapping up my studies, have a rent and some other expenses to pay, but have a small but regular income, and every now and then, the dreaded sales bins (and Mosaic "last chance" sets) are just getting too much.

But then the signs are there by now that the CD era is winding down, at least on a broader perspective... I've mined the Blue Note sales close to exhaustion (the only one I can think of that I still need is Duke Pearson's Honey Bee, which weird enough *never* turns up in the regular BN sales here).

The small catastrophe at Mosaic a couple of months ago tore a hole in my budget, and I already had the Beatles mono box on order at the very same time. Yeah well... I'll just sit it out and cut down my expenses for a while now :)

Having no major obligations of course helps, otherwise I'd definitely have to change my buying behaviour.

As it is, I spend it all on CDs, books, the occasional magazine (The Wire, also I subscribe to Jazz Magazine from France and Songlines from the UK), newspapers (I'm an addict...), going to the movies (rather than buying DVDs), and occasionally to see live music, too.

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i can proudly announce that this year for the first time since 2004 cigarettes have been the dominant force in my unnecessary expenses... i still bought more cds than normal people do but still, deezer and lastfm more or less satisfy my needs for new music with few exceptions... after all 90% of my listening is at work anyway where i can't have too many cds around, 20 or so must suffice...

Edited by Niko
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Make a resolution to know the music you already have in your collection before you buy more.

(Not that I'm able to do that myself, but it's a good resolution. :) )

Adding to my list of resolutions:

1. Lose 20 oounds

2. Exercise more

3. Keep the leaves raked off the lawn at all times

4. Clean all of the leaves and twigs out of the window wells

5. Get down on my hands and knees and pick out by hand all of the leaves that have collected under the bushes

4. Clean the garage often

5. Scrub out the grout between the bathroom tiles on a rigorous schedule

6. Wipe all of the cobwebs off of every beam in the basement on a rigorous schedule

7. Know the music I already have in my collection before I buy more.

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2) Who knows what inflation is going to be like in years to come so if some purchase has been on your agenda anyway, why not do it now as long as you do not overstretch your limits too far ...

In Britain, and maybe elsewhere, between 1960, when I started work, and 2003, when I retired, the price of beer rose seven times faster than the price of albums (full price, new, normal retail). So if you want to beat inflation, drink a lot of beer, and quickly :excited:

MG

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The desire to explore (and own) music has never left me since 1970. As others have said, they key is staying within your income/financial responsibilities. I was guilty of buying more than I could reasonably afford at one stage and a small overdraft built up which was just silly servicing. But in the last ten years, though I don't think I buy any less, I'm well inside the safety margins. Partly a result of having a moderately well paid job, partly the amazing collapse in the price of music in the last five years.

Don't think of it as a compulsive disorder; just healthy curiosity. The buzz you get when something unknown explodes around you and opens up a whole new world of music is always worth it.

Anyway, if you didn't spend on music you'd be buying wallpaper or motorbikes!

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Make a resolution to know the music you already have in your collection before you buy more.

(Not that I'm able to do that myself, but it's a good resolution. :) )

Adding to my list of resolutions:

1. Lose 20 oounds

2. Exercise more

3. Keep the leaves raked off the lawn at all times

4. Clean all of the leaves and twigs out of the window wells

5. Get down on my hands and knees and pick out by hand all of the leaves that have collected under the bushes

4. Clean the garage often

5. Scrub out the grout between the bathroom tiles on a rigorous schedule

6. Wipe all of the cobwebs off of every beam in the basement on a rigorous schedule

7. Know the music I already have in my collection before I buy more.

Thought I was 0 for 1. Make that 0 for 7.

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Make a resolution to know the music you already have in your collection before you buy more.

(Not that I'm able to do that myself, but it's a good resolution. :) )

Adding to my list of resolutions:

1. Lose 20 oounds

2. Exercise more

3. Keep the leaves raked off the lawn at all times

4. Clean all of the leaves and twigs out of the window wells

5. Get down on my hands and knees and pick out by hand all of the leaves that have collected under the bushes

4. Clean the garage often

5. Scrub out the grout between the bathroom tiles on a rigorous schedule

6. Wipe all of the cobwebs off of every beam in the basement on a rigorous schedule

7. Know the music I already have in my collection before I buy more.

Forget the music compulsion, there are some heavy foliage/cleaning issues here you need to deal with. I consider leaves to be natural mulch and leave (heh!) it at that. And I've got three giant oaks next to my home. In other words, it's a losing battle no matter what I might do. I can sweep the sidewalk in front of my house one day, and at this time of year it's literally covered in acorns, leaves, spanish moss, twigs by the next morning.

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Well, it's not been that long since I started drinking wine, but going by glasses, it seems in the past ten years the prices have risen quite out of proportion compared to how wages have risen... same for beer, of course! They even made the glasses smaller a few years ago (a regular tap beer used to be a third of a liter here, now it's mostly a fourth, at the same price initially, but by now of course at a higher price).

There's a save value though: a pint of Guiness - the thing that sucks about it is that it costs almost as much as the cheapest sales bins disc we can find here (about 9$, usually).

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Does anyone have any comforting words of wisdom or cutting but hopefully helpful criticisms?

None, I'm afraid. Coming to this Board and asking for help with a music "jones" is like a person going into a bar and asking for help with a drinking problem. But there is some good advice in some of the above posts. I would say that as long as you meet your other expenses and can save a bit of money and you don't go into debt over your music purchases then you don't have a problem. You're going to spend your discretionary income on something and good music that you enjoy is a pretty good thing to spend it on. I have told myself a thousand times to really get to know the music I have before I buy more. The thought lasts a day or two. Sheer curiosity kills it, and the internet has not helped a bit.

Edited by John Tapscott
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I too suffer from the same affliction. I thought this was going to be a slow year for buying and even new interests but something happened once fall came around.

As others have stated at least it's not an expensive habit compared to other interests some have such as cars or wine for example, never mind making having kids. Uh, not that the latter is a "habit." I'd say as you aren't being forced to sell music right after buying you have it under control (assuming you aren't paying credit card interest on your purchases.)

As you're in the Twin Cities I'm guessing you have a decent library system, so I'd recommend using it to investigate some musical curiosities. I've been able to trick myself numerous times by thinking I've bought something through borrowing. It's also a good way to check out masterings, or if you really need to own ________. And if you ever dip a toe into classical music, a library can be a great thing! Note to anyone concerned I'm not suggesting burning library copies, far from it. There are some areas of music where I've decided that I'm more than happy to let the public library store "my copy" and save my own shrinking shelf space!

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Make a resolution to know the music you already have in your collection before you buy more.

(Not that I'm able to do that myself, but it's a good resolution. :) )

This is good advice and I've been trying to do this as well (unsuccessfully!). I currently have 9006 "Jazz" songs in my ipod/itunes (99% sourced from CD or vinyl) and the other day I created a smart playlist of jazz songs with zero plays. That list has 1815 songs on it. I've been shuffling that list and I believe I'll feel somewhat better about my Jazz habit if I know that I have listened to everything in my collection a t least once.

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