A DEEP OLIVE BRANCH TO CHRISTIERN

[connoisseur series500]

I guess I missed the reference there as well.

Forgive GROPE. He knows not what he does.

(I can't even figure out what he did!)

[patricia]

Just stop the match-making, or I'll laugh on the front of your shirt too.

Matchmaking is one thing, Patty; doing my utmost to prevent you from falling into the soiled and twisted clutches of DEEP is another.

Don't be fooled by GROPE's plaid shirts and all his talk of sexual quiescence. I bet he's a real tiger!

And don't think I don't appreciate your chivalry..

However, I could never be with an ugly plaid-shirted, baseball-capped man who has no style, no matter what tiger-like, boudoirian prowess he may possess. I regret my shallowness, but there it is.

Edited February 7, 2004 by patricia

[connoisseur series500]

BTW, Patty,

I am much more familiar with Maugham than I am with Williams.

Maugham showed particular talent in characterizing snooty Colonial women. Damn, he was good at it.

I don't think that his women were representative of all women, just those of a certain class and mindset.

Saki was also talented at describing females of the same class.

Very funny and dry.

[connoisseur series500]

Just stop the match-making, or I'll laugh on the front of your shirt too.

Matchmaking is one thing, Patty; doing my utmost to prevent you from falling into the soiled and twisted clutches of DEEP is another.

Don't be fooled by GROPE's plaid shirts and all his talk of sexual quiescence. I bet he's a real tiger!

And don't think I don't appreciate it.

However, I could never be with an ugly plaid-shirted, baseball-capped man who has no style, no matter what tiger-like, boudoirian prowess he may possess. I regret my shallowness, but there it is.

Now you've done it, GROPE.

You've not only managed to piss off all the board lefties with your political comments, but now you've comprehensively alienated Patty as well.

Regarding those plaid shirts of yours: take a trip to Walmart and UPGRADE!

[patricia]

BTW, Patty,

I am much more familiar with Maugham than I am with Williams.

Maugham showed particular talent in characterizing snooty Colonial women. Damn, he was good at it.

I don't think that his women were representative of all women, just those of a certain class and mindset.

Saki was also talented at describing females of the same class.

Very funny and dry.

I'm not familiar with Saki, but you're right about Maugham, in fact both Maughams.

[connoisseur series500]

Start off with Saki's short story, "Tobermory." Should be able to find it in any library (even in the Northwest Territories )

The main character is a cat who can talk. He overhears certain conversations and such and has the chutzpah to regurgitate them at inappropriate moments.

Every word is a superbly-cut facet making a wonderful gem of a story.

You won't regret it...

[patricia]

Start off with Saki's short story, "Tobermory." Should be able to find it in any library (even in the Northwest Territories )

The main character is a cat who can talk. He overhears certain conversations and such and has the chutzpah to regurgitate them at inappropriate moments.

Every word is a superbly-cut facet making a wonderful gem of a story.

You won't regret it...

OK. I've heard there are many books in the library/gas station/general store/barbershop/brothel log cabin two dogsled nights from here and I will see if that's one of them. Thanks.

[connoisseur series500]

Saki (HH Munro) came from a Colonial background. I think he was born in Burma. He was brought up by aunts and experienced firsthand the triviality of the type of people Maugham wrote about.

Perhaps you will find their characterizations similar, though Saki was not homosexual as Maugham was; again, I suspect they simply wrote-as-they-saw-them as opposed to looking at the world through a gay perspective.

[connoisseur series500]

brothel log cabin two dogsled nights from here

CAREFUL

WARNING!

This is the kind of lingo that gets DEEP all randy.

Keep your speech pure as the driven Manitoba snow, Patty.

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

brothel log cabin two dogsled nights from here

CAREFUL

WARNING!

This is the kind of lingo that gets DEEP all randy.

Keep your speech pure as the driven Manitoba snow, Patty.

conn, (a linguist),

You're onto something there. I know Patty is pure as the driven snow but hope the fuck she's capable of drifting a little.

I am aroused thinking about what is the enevitable...................

.....The Groper and Patty spending a weekend in that log cabin dressed in scuba gear, eating out of dog dishes...WhoooOOOOEEEEEEEE !!

GO FOR IT *THE GROPER* !!

DEEP

Edited February 7, 2004 by DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)

[connoisseur series500]

.....The Groper and Patty spending a weekend in that log cabin dressed in scuba gear,

Available at Walmart?

The GROPE is on a mission to go where he hasn't gone before: to move beyond plaid!

Remember: "It's a small step for GROPE; a giant step for mankind!"

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

Did The Groper say he's been married *FIVE TIMES* and is currently single??

I'd say he's probably not much of an authority on marriage but he sure the fuck must be pretty up to code on DIVORCE !!

I'd be willing to drive wherever The Groper is if I could watch him and Patty doin'

THE NASTY !!

DEEP

Edited February 8, 2004 by DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)

[Tim McG]

Patricia,

My advice?

Move on.

You are doing yourself no good service by engaging the DEEP.

You are FAR better then that.

Move on, Patricia.

Please?

For me?

Edited February 8, 2004 by GoodSpeak

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

Patricia,

My advice?

Move on.

You are doing yourself no good service by engaging the DEEP.

You are FAR better then that.

Move on, Patricia.

Please?

For me?

Oh Christ, there's God Awful Squawk!!

He's givin' you good advise, Patty.

There is no question about it..."You are FAR better then (sic) that".

And so the migration begins. When can we expect DISCO and his disciples?

DEEP

[patricia]

GS, don't worry. I'm not about to involve myself with a has-been Franklin Stove-like old guy, calling himself THE GROPER, or our vulgarian thread originator, neither of whom know thing one about women in general, and even less about what makes me tick.

And in answer to our thread originator's ravings, save your gasoline. Mohammed doesn't go to the mountain, nor do I travel all over the place, to provide amusement for you. You surprise me, as someone who knows very well that I am not even naked under my clothes. I have an outfit that I wear for showering. THAT'S how clenched my keester is.

I own no scuba gear and, sadly have no canine pet, since, like you, I was forced to put down Bubbles, the bichon frise, some time ago. The association of even a sterling silver dog dish is just too much.

As for educating the GROPER about the virtues of solid-coloured shirts and other niceties, just not worth the effort. The man has demonstrated that he is totally in the dark about women, times five. Being an expert on divorce is not one of my ambitions. Once is quite enough, thank you.

So, don't hold your breath.

Conn, thanks for the book rec. I'll look for the novel you mentioned by Saki.

Edited February 8, 2004 by patricia

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

GS, don't worry.  I'm not about to involve myself with a has-been Franklin Stove-like old guy, calling himself THE GROPER, or our vulgarian thread originator, neither of whom know thing one about women in general, and even less about what makes me tick.

Now them's SQUIRTIN' WORDS !!

I don't see The Groper takin' that kinda shit from a woman he's yet to penetrate.

Patty is proving my long standing theory that, BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN THERE'S A WOMAN....TELLIN' HIM HE'S WRONG!!!

Even Ol' Ben Franklin had to put up with this sort of shit. One day he was out flyin' his kite tryin' to discover electricity when his o'l lady stuck her head out of an upstairs window and yelled down, "Benjamin, you'll never get that thing up without a piece of tail", to which he muttered, "Listen to this bitch, last night I asked her for a piece of tail and she told me TO GO FLY A FUCKIN' KITE!!"

I have a gut feeling that The Groper is gonna unload on Patty and tell it like it is. He hasn't survived 5 marriages to sit around and take abuse from a chickie who has yet to get laid in the new millenium.

Over to THE GROPER !!!

DEEP

Edited February 8, 2004 by DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)

[patricia]

So, Ben and Debbie Franklin are at home, warming their toes at the Franklin stove and Ben looks up and says:

"I feel it strongly. We must all hang together, or most assuradly we shall all hang separately."

Deb [reading] "Hmmmm"

Ben then says, "Say, Debby, that wasn't bad"

Deb looks up and says, "What wasn't?"

To which Ben answers, "What I just said. Or didn't you hear me? 'We must indeed all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.' Might be good for the Almanac."

Deb says, "I don't know. I guess it's all right."

Then Ben says, "What do you mean, 'all right'? It's damn good. Or, maybe you didn't get it. First I use 'hang' in the sense of 'stick' - together. Then I --"

Ms Franklin then, impatiently answers, "Oh, I get it all right. It just strikes me as wordy. Long-winded. Needs sharpening. Actually, Ben - and I've been meaning to mention this - you've been getting away with some pretty sloppy stuff lately. Last issue, wasn't it, that you had something about 'a penny saved is a penny got' ". Now, for God's sake. What are you trying to say? If you save a penny, you'll have a penny? So what? And that one about patience - how did it go - 'He that have patience can have what he will.' That's not a bit catchy, Ben, and furthermore, it's a crock and you know it. Sit in the same office for fifty years and what do you get? Retired with a gold-plated watch and a cheap dinner. Patience, my ass. What about the Pilgrims? Where'd we be if they'd been all that patient?"

Ben answers [under his breath] "God defend me from a literal-minded woman."

Deb, [hearing that] says, "Yes, and another thing. You'd better knock off all that sex stuff if you don't want to go down in history as the original male chauvinist pig."

Ben [looking a little sheepish] mumbles, "You mean---uh--"

To which Deb says, "I mean advising that young men take an old mistress 'because they're so grateful' --- Well, I have to admit it, a mature woman does find a young man a delightful change from wattles and potbellies and skinny shanks and toot-toot-puff-puff the little engine that couldn't --- Say, maybe I could use that somewhere. Could you pass me the quill?"......

What's the point of telling a man he's wrong??? He's not listening.

Edited February 8, 2004 by patricia

[connoisseur series500]

Conn, thanks for the book rec. I'll look for the novel you mentioned by Saki.

Novel?

Saki never wrote anything longer than five pages.

His oevre consists of finely crafted little short stories.

Start with "Tobermory." Can't get better than that.

I gave my own copy out to someone and have never gotten it back. It's easy enough to find another copy. You find his stuff in short story anthologies.

Report back when you've read a few...

[patricia]

Conn, thanks for the book rec.  I'll look for the novel you mentioned by Saki.

Novel?

Saki never wrote anything longer than five pages.

His oevre consists of finely crafted little short stories.

Start with "Tobermory." Can't get better than that.

I gave my own copy out to someone and have never gotten it back. It's easy enough to find another copy. You find his stuff in short story anthologies.

Report back when you've read a few...

I told you I hadn't read any of Saki's work. I'm up to my hips in work for the next week or so, but as soon as I can I'll check out the library. Thanks again.

BTW, I NEVER lend books. I either give them, if I feel the person is worthy, or merely recommend them if I don't.

Saves a lot of grief.

Edited February 8, 2004 by patricia

[BERIGAN]

...

BTW, I NEVER lend books. I either give them, if I feel the person is worthy, or merely recommend them if I don't.

Saves a lot of grief.

Why recommend books to people who are unworthy?

[Dmitry]

BTW, I NEVER lend books.

Writer Gilyarovsky had an ex libris that read "this book was stolen from the library of Gilyarovsky".

Don't remember if it was effective.

[patricia]

...

BTW, I NEVER lend books.  I either give them, if I feel the person is worthy, or merely recommend them if I don't. 

Saves a lot of grief.

Why recommend books to people who are unworthy?

What I meant by that was, should I be in conversation with somebody and have read something they may find interesting, I may recommend it to them, not lend them my book, which I would possibly never see again.

Some of my books are long out of print, irreplaceble, which is fine, if I want to share the enjoyment that I got from them by giving them to someone who will treasure them, as I have.

I am reminded of a copy of "As It Happened", a collection of transcripts from a Canadian live talk show called "As It Happens", back in the seventies. At that time it was co-hosted by Barbara Frum [who, interestingly, is David Frum, George Bush's speech-writer's mother]. Her politics were directly opposite to what her son's seem to be. David Frum wrote the "axis of evil" catchphrase, which Mr Bush recites as a mantra. Barbara Frum was one of the most interesting and sharp-witted broadcasters the CBC ever had, IMO. Sadly, she died of cancer some years ago. The book was almost a primer on how a live talkshow can be so interesting that people look forward to it every week. The interviewees, all over the world, were called cold, on battlefields, in brothels, wherever they were. There were no screeners, and no call-ins, just the interviews. Fabulous!!!

In any case, I lent my copy to a friend and she gave it to somebody else, who gave it to somebody else.............. I'd rather know at the outset that it's gone because I intended the person to have it.

By *worthy* I meant that I thought enough of them to give them my book as a gift, not lend it to them. By *unworthy* I didn't mean that someone wouldn't enjoy reading something I had found interesting. In that case, I would just recommmend whatever it was.

Sorry for the confusion, Berigan.

Dmitry, I've seen that "stolen" thing in some library books too. Made me smile.

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

What the fuck is all this "MARIAN THE LIBRARIAN" bullshit.

Where's the goddamn GROPER??

Let's get this thread back on course.

Do you shave your clam, Patty??

DEEP

[patricia]

What the fuck is all this "MARIAN THE LIBRARIAN" bullshit.

Where's the goddamn GROPER??

Let's get this thread back on course.

Do you shave your clam, Patty??

DEEP

I guess that "THE GROPER" has emptied his quiver. Or, perhaps his delicate feelings were hurt by my suggestions that he is past it. Or, maybe he just doesn't have anything more to contribute. Who knows??

Sorry about the MARION THE LIBRARIAN posts. Conversations, even in real life, don't always stay on topic, even one as endlessly facinating as various people's perversities, or their puerility.

As to your rather personal query, no. I employ tweezers.

As for the rest of my person, I use Nair to remove every last vestige of hair from every part of my body, of course.

I've been seriously considering shaving my head as well. That way I would be much like those expensive, totally hairless cats, which are, somehow eerie.

And you??

Why do you ask??

Edited February 9, 2004 by patricia

[The Groper]

I guess a guy can't even run out to Wal-Mart for a few essentials without certain DILETTANTES gettin' all HIGH-TONED on him. (Thanks for bringing it back to earth level, DEEP.) Actually, I got hung up in the parking lot of my favorite emporium (that is, since the Hudson's Bay Co. went belly-up). Some ART CONCESSIONAIRES were offering a fine line of first-edition oil-on-velveteen masterworks out of the rear of a VINTAGE Chevy van. I availed myself of this rare opportunity to purchase a most elegant sofa-sized rendering of a hairless nude woman, purportedly the wife of a minor functionary in the employ of the 16th Century Florentine Medici family, renowned for their superior taste and ruthlessness. I carted my treasure home and, keeping in mind PATRICIA's strident exhortations, mounted the beauty above my ugly plaid sofa, DIRECTLY BLOCKING THE VIEW through my bay window. (There were nothing but trees and the morning sunrise to see there anyway.) Then, from my recliner, I consumed a volume of SAKE while contemplating, at my leisure, my good fortune at having PATTY to correct my myriad deficiencies and perversions. PHILISTINE? AU CONTRAIRE! I am now an ARRIVISTE, AVANT GARDE, even. I am now officially the first GAY MASTURBATOR south of CANADA, a distinction not even Conn500 can claim (right?). Thank you, Patty--I mean BUTCH!