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Speakeasy Jazzcorner Forums Shutting Down July 1


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Why do you have to respond? I never understood that. Responding to someone's negative comments (or, if you prefer, "attacks" as if written posts result in physical injury) escalates things. So what if it's unfair. Our parents taught us at an early age, when we whined about something we didn't like, that life was unfair and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Respond lif it makes you feel better about yourself but expect things to continue. If you want the "attacks" to end or diminish, ignore them and take the advice you thought was so good: Move on.

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Why do you have to respond? I never understood that. Responding to someone's negative comments (or, if you prefer, "attacks" as if written posts result in physical injury) escalates things. So what if it's unfair. Our parents taught us at an early age, when we whined about something we didn't like, that life was unfair and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Respond lif it makes you feel better about yourself but expect things to continue. If you want the "attacks" to end or diminish, ignore them and take the advice you thought was so good: Move on.

I totally agree with you. I must say though, that it took me a while to be able to avoid responding to negative comments so I sort of understand newer posters getting hooked on the pissing contest part of forums. I think for some people, like myself, it took a while to realize that pissing contests only diminish the potential of the place. And some people never stop loving that shit.

Edited by steve(thelil)
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Why do you have to respond? I never understood that. Responding to someone's negative comments (or, if you prefer, "attacks" as if written posts result in physical injury) escalates things. So what if it's unfair. Our parents taught us at an early age, when we whined about something we didn't like, that life was unfair and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Respond lif it makes you feel better about yourself but expect things to continue. If you want the "attacks" to end or diminish, ignore them and take the advice you thought was so good: Move on.

I totally agree with you. I must say though, that it took me a while to be able to avoid responding to negative comments so I sort of understand newer posters getting hooked on the pissing contest part of forums. I think for some people, like myself, it took a while to realize that pissing contests only diminish the potential of the place. And some people never stop loving that shit.

Ted-

But here is the problem: As long as that link to JC exists [and I have no way to respond there thanks to the aforementioned] how else do I dispel rumors, self-fulfilling justifications [like they had nothing to do with it all; and for over a year later all those I allegedly chased off didn't come back] and out right lies? Then they come over here like they're just a bunch of really nice guys who were these innocent bystanders. Comparing me to DEEP is absolute fantasy and they know it.

Put yourself in my shoes for just a minute and tell me you wouldn't respond negatively to a character assassination or threats of them making trouble for you at the workplace. Seems to me that if it were you they hate on, it would be a different story altogether.

I'm just sick of the blame Goody bullshit. I'm willing to move on and they keep bringing it up on that JC thread for all here to see. That is a big bunch of garbage and they know that one, too. I have asked three times for that link to be deleted but nothing happens. It needs to stop. That's all I'm asking.

Fair?

Edited by GoodSpeak
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Especially when they aren't even talking about you! ;)

Right. Which would explain Walto's "concern" for said teacher's students and parents. College isn't a parent driven venue. [winky, winky back atcha] That was no "professor" he and [thelil] were talking about.

What the hell could possibly matter what others say or think about me in the grand scheme of things?

I learned an expression years ago that serves well:

'what others think or say about me is none of my business!'

In a perfect world, I would absolutely agree with you.

Sadly, in the JC world of job threats and character assassination quite the opposite is true.

Why do you have to respond? I never understood that. Responding to someone's negative comments (or, if you prefer, "attacks" as if written posts result in physical injury) escalates things. So what if it's unfair. Our parents taught us at an early age, when we whined about something we didn't like, that life was unfair and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Respond lif it makes you feel better about yourself but expect things to continue. If you want the "attacks" to end or diminish, ignore them and take the advice you thought was so good: Move on.

I totally agree with you. I must say though, that it took me a while to be able to avoid responding to negative comments so I sort of understand newer posters getting hooked on the pissing contest part of forums. I think for some people, like myself, it took a while to realize that pissing contests only diminish the potential of the place. And some people never stop loving that shit.

Didn't stop you from running me down on that JC thread now, did it?

You aren't kidding anybody with that big toe in the sand routine. You and I know better.

I've toned it down and avoid pissing contests, but not a good debate. My posts aren't near as strident as they once were. Now what about you? Care to delete that obviously anti-Goody garbage on the JC thread?

Edited by GoodSpeak
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My first reaction would be how has my attitude contributed to such dislike that there are rumors, lies and insults being told about me? If my conclusion is the way I conduct myself is absolutely stellar and everyone else is to blame, then I'd have to believe I was not willing to admit to any mistakes or responsibility whatsoever for what I do or say. Two sides to every issue. I can't control what others do or say but I can decide to improve on how I act and respond.

Now when it comes to "threats of making trouble" at my workplace, there is no justification for that.

I've never been on the JC site so don't know anything about what happened there. But your letter to the JC moderator and owner seemed like a mea culpa for reasons you seem to be aware of. That seems like a start.

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My first reaction would be how has my attitude contributed to such dislike that there are rumors, lies and insults being told about me? If my conclusion is the way I conduct myself is absolutely stellar and everyone else is to blame, then I'd have to believe I was not willing to admit to any mistakes or responsibility whatsoever for what I do or say. Two sides to every issue. I can't control what others do or say but I can decide to improve on how I act and respond.

Now when it comes to "threats of making trouble" at my workplace, there is no justification for that.

I've never been on the JC site so don't know anything about what happened there. But your letter to the JC moderator and owner seemed like a mea culpa for reasons you seem to be aware of. That seems like a start.

Agreed.

I played a role, for certain. I mean, I'm no angel [just ask Dan Gould ^_^ ] but it simply did not rise to the level of threats, disparaging remarks about my professional abilities, or the barrage of character assassinations. All on account of a disagreement and one off-hand remark. Sure I was strident at times, but so were they...to the tenth power. The pack dog mentality kicked into hyper overdrive the moment I pointed that out.

Suddenly, I was the thread hijacker, the troll, the flamer or the one with the lust for pissing contests. I was the #3 or #4 poster on that website with well over 36,000 posts because I made people think, laugh and get involved in the various discussions on that BBS. And to single me out for the demise of that place is sheer foolish pride. It was an amazing thing. The last few years of my 15+ year tenure on JC, I rarely posted anyplace other than the "Alley" or "Politics" yet I'm the guy who chased off the Jazz talk and caused posters to leave in droves? Sure. That would explain the exodus of several full-timers after I got the "treatment" or why nobody came back once I was gone. Simply put, I was collateral damage. It was easier to boot me than to get these guys to take ownership for their part in all of it.

My words were harsh at times, but if you were being threatened, wouldn't you get hot under the collar? I think anybody would. The difference is I take full and complete responsibility for my words. All of them. I admit, I said things I regret saying [which was the motivation behind that e-mail to Lois; I am very sorry], but who hasn't? My chiefest complaint is instead of owning up to their own abhorrent behavior, they chose instead to fob it all off on me. Like I controlled their reactions somehow or made them say things so incendiary it would insult even the calmest individual. That is what happened. Plain and simple. But none of these guys will cop to that. I find that sad. Sadder still, they actually believe their own "press" so-to-speak. More than a year later the same crap continues. Why? Because I am a reminder of their own misgivings.

Cognitive dissonance to the extreme.

Edited by GoodSpeak
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Getting reacquainted, meeting new folks, telling a few jokes about experiences there along with meetings, concerts, and misc. events I thought was the purpose for this thread, unless I'm missing something.

Weren't we asked.......told......WARNED.....not to rehash old feuds from other places?

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Okay okay, it's more everyone else's fault then yours. You win. If someone threatens me I don't argue with 'em harshly. I stay away from 'em. On the boards that means you ignore them by not responding. So it sounds like certain people don't like you. Accept it. And stop being strident, harsh and compelled to point things out then if it's not working for you. Who cares if they are harsh and strident. You're saying if they don't own up to what they do then neither will you. Okay, okay. You win. But you can't influence others "abhorrent" behavior if you can't change your own. So expect it to go on and on and on and on.......You don't have to respond back to this. But I bet you can't help yourself. Only you know why that is. It is, as you said, sad.

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Getting reacquainted, meeting new folks, telling a few jokes about experiences there along with meetings, concerts, and misc. events I thought was the purpose for this thread, unless I'm missing something.

Weren't we asked.......told......WARNED.....not to rehash old feuds from other places?

Again, I am unable to defend against the untoward remarks on that JC link in Post #1, Mike.

Secondly, I think people here have the right to know what really happened, don't you?

It is in the telling of that tale the understanding begins and the truth can be found. Without which it will continue to fester.

I'm all for burying the hatchet, but not when it is in my head.

Why is this being hashed out here? And what link are you referring to, Tim?

Post #1 wherein the imminence of JC's forums closure is announced and the smack talk begins anew.

Edited by GoodSpeak
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Okay okay, it's more everyone else's fault then yours. You win. If someone threatens me I don't argue with 'em harshly. I stay away from 'em. On the boards that means you ignore them by not responding. So it sounds like certain people don't like you. Accept it. And stop being strident, harsh and compelled to point things out then if it's not working for you. Who cares if they are harsh and strident. You're saying if they don't own up to what they do then neither will you. Okay, okay. You win. But you can't influence others "abhorrent" behavior if you can't change your own. So expect it to go on and on and on and on.......You don't have to respond back to this. But I bet you can't help yourself. Only you know why that is. It is, as you said, sad.

C'mon, Ted. It isn't that simple.

I don't want to "win" anything. I just thought you needed to understand.

Apparently, I misread you.

My bad.

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I realize I'm not privy to what happened in the past and under most circumstances would keep my mouth shut. But can't folks just leave things in the past and move on or is that just asking too much? Gosh, it just seems there is a lot of wasted energy being spent here rehashing past grievances. If you want to be part of the forum, glad to have you on board. I look forward to reading your thoughts. If you can't find anything positive to say, why waste another moment and move on? I realize I may get slammed for this, but some of this shit seems to be childish and frankly it's getting BORING!

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Getting reacquainted, meeting new folks, telling a few jokes about experiences there along with meetings, concerts, and misc. events I thought was the purpose for this thread, unless I'm missing something.

Weren't we asked.......told......WARNED.....not to rehash old feuds from other places?

Again, I am unable to defend against the untoward remarks on that JC link in Post #1, Mike.

Secondly, I think people here have the right to know what really happened, don't you?

It is in the telling of that tale the understanding begins and the truth can be found. Without which it will continue to fester.

I'm all for burying the hatchet, but not when it is in my head.

Why is this being hashed out here? And what link are you referring to, Tim?

Post #1 wherein the imminence of JC's forums closure is announced and the smack talk begins anew.

Absolutely not to answer your question.

This is the place and the time to let it all be done and gone......POOF!!

In 3 weeks it won't even exist any more.

Who gives a crap anymore really, except you?

I don't know! THIRD BASE!!

http://<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/airT-m9LcoY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Edited by Mike Schwartz
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I realize I'm not privy to what happened in the past and under most circumstances would keep my mouth shut. But can't folks just leave things in the past and move on or is that just asking too much? Gosh, it just seems there is a lot of wasted energy being spent here rehashing past grievances. If you want to be part of the forum, glad to have you on board. I look forward to reading your thoughts. If you can't find anything positive to say, why waste another moment and move on? I realize I may get slammed for this, but some of this shit seems to be childish and frankly it's getting BORING!

Seconded.

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I realize I'm not privy to what happened in the past and under most circumstances would keep my mouth shut. But can't folks just leave things in the past and move on or is that just asking too much? Gosh, it just seems there is a lot of wasted energy being spent here rehashing past grievances. If you want to be part of the forum, glad to have you on board. I look forward to reading your thoughts. If you can't find anything positive to say, why waste another moment and move on? I realize I may get slammed for this, but some of this shit seems to be childish and frankly it's getting BORING!

Agreed.

And if it was within my power to stop the JC harassment, I would.

Sadly, I cannot.

I realize I'm not privy to what happened in the past and under most circumstances would keep my mouth shut. But can't folks just leave things in the past and move on or is that just asking too much? Gosh, it just seems there is a lot of wasted energy being spent here rehashing past grievances. If you want to be part of the forum, glad to have you on board. I look forward to reading your thoughts. If you can't find anything positive to say, why waste another moment and move on? I realize I may get slammed for this, but some of this shit seems to be childish and frankly it's getting BORING!

Seconded.

Call for the Question?

Motion carried.

Well, there is there, and there will be gone on July 1.

Are we gonna make it work here? Now? And going forth?

Easy for you to say, my friend.

Not so easy when you are the target.

Again, I am all for burying the hatchet, but not when it is buried in my head.

Fair?

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Here's another dare/challenge/suggestion/whatever - go one month without saying anything to anybody about "that". No matter what they say, in your world you don't let it exist in your presence here.

One month, that's all. See what happens to those hatchets and to your head.

If your real life gets threatened, contact the authorities. If not, then see what happens.

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