Perhaps embarrassing (so to speak)

[Larry Kart]

but this may be of use. I'm 75, and about ten or more years ago, I began to notice that all my pants -- slacks, jeans, you name it, and whatever brand or style -- were falling down in the course of a normal day. I tried tightening my belt until I could hardly breathe -- forget it, same problem.  At one point I tried suspenders; they worked, but my first name isn't Clem or Lem. I could have stationed my belt just below my armpits, but my name isn't Seymour or Irving. Eventually I realized that the problem was that my ass pretty much had disappeared; whenever I bent over or sat down (especially while driving), there was nothing to prevent the rear end of my pants from incrementally sliding/moving downwards; and unless you keep hitching things up (and even then), there ya go. Also, though it didn't weigh heavily in my thinking, there is the cosmetic factor -- a man with almost no ass wearing pants that are made with the assumption that  the purchaser has a normal ass tends to look sort of silly.

Finally, I thought that there must be well-made underwear for men that had a reasonable amount of padding in the rear (there is for women). I investigated, and indeed there is; the brand that looked the best to me (after sifting through complaints and comments on lots of brands), was one with the apt and lovely name Butt For You. The pads (which come in two depths; I got the smaller size)  are sturdy foam inserts that you remove when washing the otherwise normal (except for the slots in the back) 95% cotton underwear. They're not cheap -- $29.95 a pair IIRC -- but they do the job; my pants stay in place now. Further, the padding means that when I sit for a while on a hard surface, like a wooden bench at a football or basketball game, my butt doesn't begin to ache. My wife says that the cosmetic results are good -- perfectly normal, no protruding Merv Griffin effect. (Remember Rick Moranis doing Merv on SCTV?)

In any case, my contribution to the well-being of the group. Don't thank me all at once.

http://www.buttforyou.com/

 

[Dan Gould]

I am reminded of the joke about the Wonder Bra (when it comes off, you wonder where her b**bs went).

Nice to know there's a product with the same bait & switch result, only women are the ones wondering where that body part went.

Equality!

[JSngry]

1 hour ago, Larry Kart said:

 At one point I tried suspenders; they worked, but my first name isn't Clem or Lem.

My name is Jem, and I have no shame about wearing them, either above or below the shirt. I now walk unimpeded by anything other than my natural clumsiness!

[Chuck Nessa]

Instead of suspenders, I wear braces. Higher class you know.

[catesta]

Ha!  SCTV, I love that shit.

[Larry Kart]

When I wore suspenders I felt like a fake lumberjack.

Also, if you do order something from Butt for You, be aware that their products are not returnable once you've worn them -- which is reassuring, I suppose. Order one pair in a size that you think will fit; if it doesn't, lesson learned, move on. 

[Chuck Nessa]

Worry not, you will never look like a lumberjack and I will never purchase from But Knot Four Me. They're writing thongs of love.....

Edited September 26, 2017 by Chuck Nessa

[JSngry]

There's a lot of style-choices for suspenders, but I leanred the har way that good ones don't come cheap. I need the ones with bigass grips, those little skinny ones are only for people who don't need the help.

These badboys, though - don't buy these if you really don't need the help, they are massive. I mean, I need the help, but THIS much help, still not sure about that. I'm skinny everywhere except my gut and my face and thse things make me feel shrunken/shrinking.

 

1 hour ago, JSngry said:

There's a lot of style-choices for suspenders, but I learned the hard way that good ones don't come cheap. I need the ones with bigass grips, those little skinny ones are only for people who don't need the help. You get what you pay for, and help is either free or expensive, it's never cheap, ok?

These badboys, though - don't buy these if you really don't need the help, they are massive. I mean, I need the help, but THIS much help, still not sure about that. I'm skinny everywhere except my gut and my face and these things make me feel shrunken/shrinking.

 

 

[Rooster_Ties]

I could easily see wearing some nice black suspenders, specifically with/over a nice black button-down dress shirt (which I wear about once a week as it is).  But other than that, anything that they didn't blend in with (visually), I think l I'd feel WAY too conspicuous wearing suspenders.

I used to be quite the schlub for a good decade there (circa 2001-2011), but once I got to D.C., I got back to wearing ties every day to work -- only square-bottom ties (mostly Rooster, but a few other brands too, Ernst was a nice one, out of San Francisco).

But yeah, black on black, I could probably work that.

[GA Russell]

Larry, I'm glad you solved your problem, but I have another suggestion to go with you solution.  Buy "tall" t-shirts.

[bichos]

 

[Dmitry]

18 hours ago, Larry Kart said:

 Eventually I realized that the problem was that my ass pretty much had disappeared;

Evidently your diet is to blame. More saturated fat and sugar will help bring your figure back.

[JSngry]

I though that I had lost my ass, only to find out that it had just changed sides. Some kind of migratory pattern or something.

[Larry Kart]

14 hours ago, GA Russell said:

Larry, I'm glad you solved your problem, but I have another suggestion to go with you solution.  Buy "tall" t-shirts.

Hmm. I'll think about that, though the T-shorts I wear do extend down below the belt line. Are you thinking that you end up (so to speak) sitting on the tail of the T-shirt, and then this mind of holds everything in place?

[GA Russell]

Larry, my concern is not "holding everything in place" but rather not revealing your drawers or plumber's butt.  The extra material makes a big difference for me.

[rostasi]

2 hours ago, Larry Kart said:

Hmm. I'll think about that, though the T-shorts I wear do extend down below the belt line.

Is that what makes them t-shorts?

[JSngry]

2Short

[T.D.]

It's all cool, as long as it doesn't cause problems with airport security.

Spinal Tap - Derek Smalls

 

[JSngry]

[Larry Kart]

2 hours ago, JSngry said:

Oh, yeah -- he's my role model.

[JSngry]

[catesta]

5 hours ago, JSngry said:

2Short

 

[Chuck Nessa]

[paul secor]

Belt and braces - you don't take any chances.

[rostasi]

There's a joke there concerning hair dryers and balls.