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Can We All Stop Wishing “Happy Birthday” To The Dead?


sonnymax

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I understand and fully support people’s desire to honor the life and accomplishments of artists whom they love and admire by noting the day on which they were born. But wishing "Happy Birthday" to someone who is deceased sounds very wrong to my ears. First of all, there’s the obvious: the person is dead, and as such they stopped having “birthdays” once they are no longer living. For the life of me, I can't imagine saying "Happy Birthday, Dad" next April 5th, when in fact my father passed away last May. A birthday and a birthdate are not the same thing.

One can most certainly celebrate the anniversary of a departed person’s birth. Take for example Cab Calloway, who was born December 25, 1907. I could say “Tomorrow would have been Cab Calloway’s 110th birthday", or "Tomorrow is the 110th anniversary of Calloway’s birth”. Not only are these statements more “correct”, I think they also set a more sincere or respectful tone to the message being offered.

Don’t get me wrong. I like the threads that are created on these occasions. It serves as a reminder of an artist’s contributions to the music I love. Like many of you, the thread makes me want to listen to the artist’s recordings, often with a renewed sense of respect and gratitude.

So, what say you, my soulful and swinging brethren?

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I lost my mother earlier this year, and didn't hesitate to wish her a happy birthday on Dec 11th.  For me it is a way to honor her memory and share that it's a special day for those of us she left behind.  I also try to acknowledge my father on his birthday each year, and he's been gone for 26 years.  

I have a number of my parents friends on my FB friend list, and it is a nice way for them to be reminded of that day as well, and it usually results in some comments or memories from them of good times they had together. 

Likewise, for friends I've lost, or parents of friends, etc., it's nice to be reminded of their birthday as well, so I can offer well wishes.  

Do I understand those people are gone, and it's not the same as wishing someone who's living a happy birthday?  Of course.  

 

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3 hours ago, Scott Dolan said:

I thought I mentioned this before, but it may have been elsewhere. 

Though my standard response is, “it’s probably not too happy for them”. 

But, like Beefy said above, I’ve simply learned to live with the practice. It not a hill worth dying on. 

;)

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Sometimes, if it´s a musician who means very much to me, I try to post on such "Happy Birthday" threads something from my own view, remembering when I saw her or him live or about special records I like. But never that blunt "Happy Birthday Congratulations" just to gather posts. So it´s okay for me and I will post further if I can say more about that musician .

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You try to remember the anniversary of their births but to wish someone Happy Birthday who has been dead for several years is odd, in my opinion.  When I think of my Father, who died in 1976, on his birthday, I sometimes think how old he would be that day or say to myself, "today is Dad's birthday," but to say Happy Birthday would seem peculiar and foreign.  I also remember when he passed away (unexpectedly). 

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22 hours ago, JSngry said:

Merry Christmas!

And Happy Birthday Jesus! Oh, wait...

On December 24, 2017 at 1:11 PM, sonnymax said:

So, what say you, my soulful and swinging brethren?

I say, Sonny Jim, that you are over-thinking this.   

Ironic that we are discussing this as some of us celebrate the birthday of a guy who was born 2017 years ago.  

Edited by Teasing the Korean
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