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perhaps one of my favorites:

"if i ever make the mistake of having a broad cock me out a baby i can assure you to pieces that i wont make it go through any of that voodoo-bullshit. im not saying i wont let it celebate x-mas-- of course i will, but the baby will be raised solely on the tangeble aspect of the religion, ie. santa and presents. besides that a steady dose of jazz and classical will suffice. (no prog rock until age 13)"

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"HEL YEA. MARY KAY IS IN GIG HARBOUR. THATS ONLY 10 MIN. FROM ME. SINCE SHE JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL SHELL PROBABLY WANNA GO OUT AND STUFF-- I HOPE I EVENTUALLY MEET HER AT A BAR SOMEWHERE CAUSE I NEED TO GIVE HER A MAJOR STUFFING. SHE IS WAY HOT. JUST BEACUSE I WANT TO NAIL HER DOESNT NECESSARILY MEAN I AGREE WITH WHAT SHE DID. HOWEVER I DO HAVE TO SAY IF I WAS 12 ID RATHER RAIL A 34 YR. OLD THAN ANOTHER 12 YEAR OLD BEACUSE WITH THE 12 YR. OLD ITS LIKE 2 STUPID KIDS AND SOMEONE COULD GET PREGANANT, BUT WITH A 34 YR OLD SHE KNOWS ABOUT STOPPING THAT SORT OF STUFF, ETC. "

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"HEL YEA. MARY KAY IS IN GIG HARBOUR. THATS ONLY 10 MIN. FROM ME. SINCE SHE JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL SHELL PROBABLY WANNA GO OUT AND STUFF-- I HOPE I EVENTUALLY MEET HER AT A BAR SOMEWHERE CAUSE I NEED TO GIVE HER A MAJOR STUFFING. SHE IS WAY HOT. JUST BEACUSE I WANT TO NAIL HER DOESNT NECESSARILY MEAN I AGREE WITH WHAT SHE DID. HOWEVER I DO HAVE TO SAY IF I WAS 12 ID RATHER RAIL A 34 YR. OLD THAN ANOTHER 12 YEAR OLD BEACUSE WITH THE 12 YR. OLD ITS LIKE 2 STUPID KIDS AND SOMEONE COULD GET PREGANANT, BUT WITH A 34 YR OLD SHE KNOWS ABOUT STOPPING THAT SORT OF STUFF, ETC. "

is this one a real legitimate quote?? holy cow

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"HEL YEA. MARY KAY IS IN GIG HARBOUR. THATS ONLY 10 MIN. FROM ME. SINCE SHE JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL SHELL PROBABLY WANNA GO OUT AND STUFF-- I HOPE I EVENTUALLY MEET HER AT A BAR SOMEWHERE CAUSE I NEED TO GIVE HER A MAJOR STUFFING. SHE IS WAY HOT. JUST BEACUSE I WANT TO NAIL HER DOESNT NECESSARILY MEAN I AGREE WITH WHAT SHE DID. HOWEVER I DO HAVE TO SAY IF I WAS 12 ID RATHER RAIL A 34 YR. OLD THAN ANOTHER 12 YEAR OLD BEACUSE WITH THE 12 YR. OLD ITS LIKE 2 STUPID KIDS AND SOMEONE COULD GET PREGANANT, BUT WITH A 34 YR OLD SHE KNOWS ABOUT STOPPING THAT SORT OF STUFF, ETC. "

is this one a real legitimate quote?? holy cow

See here.

B-)

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On a new Police Academy movie:

"THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE NEWS IVE HEARD IN A WHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH FUCKING HELL-YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU HOLLYWOOD FOR FINALLY COMMING TO YOUR SENSES. I WONDER IF THE NEW P.A. MOVIE WILL MAKE FUN OF THE WAR ON TERROR/HOMELAND SECURITY -N- STUFF. IT REALLY SHOULD, AS THAT WOULD ADD A CONTEMPORARY CONTEXT TO IT. THEY BETTER GET KIMMY CATRALL TO BE IN THE NEW ONE- SHE IS SEXIER THAN EVER NOW. BUT I WONDER HOW THEYRE GONNA FIND STEVE GUTENBERG. MAYBE IF THEY CANT FIND HIM THEY CAN GET LINDSAY BUCKINGHAM INSTEAD. I AM ALSO LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THAT 400LB FAT GUY FROM CITIZENS ON PATROL. HERE IS A CODE YOU SHOULD ALL REMEMBER: 1-4-2-1-3-5-4-2. THAT MEANS THE #1 BEST P.A MOVE IS #4 (CITIZENS ON PATROL), #2 IS #1, #3 IS #5, ETC"

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"like i always say: i hate the Cure, but i love girls who like the Cure"

"RUSH IS THE WORST ROCK OUTFIT EVER. IM NOT SAYING NEIL PEART IS A BAD DRUMMER-- HE IS INDEED GOOD, BUT RUSH NEVERTHELESS SUCKS. RUSH IS NOTHING MORE THAN THE "POOR MANS" YES. BESIDES, THEY ARE CANADIAN. AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE ONLY GOOD CANADIAN ROCK GROUP IS THE GUESS WHO. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY SO MANY PEOPLE DIG RUSH. EVEN IN THE 70S PEOPLE MADE FUN OF RUSH."

"do u guys think in the 70s, donald byrd was riding the white hippo?"

"MEXICO HAS AN AIR FORCE???????"

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"DO U KNOW A GUY TOLD ME ONCE; HE SAID HOW HE SAW BABY FACE AT A BAR IN CENTRAL AVE HE WAS WORKING AT FOR THE NIGHT AND HE WAS HELLA DRUNK AND HE JUST FEEL FLAT ON HIS FACE, PISS FUCKING DRUNK. RIGHT THEN AND THERE, HE WAS **THAT** FUCKED UP! HELL YEAH. THANK YOU BABYFACE INVENTOR OF ORGAN FUNK"

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"CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN HOW WE FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS. I DIDNT REALIZE AL QUEDA HAS AN OFFICAL WEBSITE. SO THEY TERRIOSTS WHO MURDERED THIS AMERICAN JUST POSTED IT ON THE INTERNET? HOW DID THE GOVERNMANT AND/OR AP FIND OUT ABOUT THIS ORGINALLY?"

:D

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Topic: ME AND MY FRIEND MATT JUST TALKED TO LOU DONALDSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ariceffron

Member

Member # 701

posted April 10, 2001 03:44 PM

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Me and my friend Matt just called Lou Donaldson's house, and we talked to him for like 5 minutes. Oh my god I am so ****ed up right now. I asked him what he was givin' the guy on the cover of HERE 'TIS, and he said it was a sandwich. I allways thought it was a buck or somethin' Yeah. I just talked to Lou Donaldson. Oh my god. My life is truly complete. I cannot belive it.

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Posts: 1834 | From: From San Diego, CA; Stuck in Tacoma, WA | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

BFrank

Member

Member # 1089

posted April 10, 2001 05:20 PM

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... and I'm sure Lou feels the same way

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Posts: 3133 | From: SF | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

JSngry

Member

Member # 1611

posted April 10, 2001 06:58 PM

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You should have asked Lou what he thinks about Wayne Shorter.

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Posts: 10310 | From: tx, usa | Registered: Mar 2001 | IP: Logged

soulstation1

Member

Member # 1047

posted April 10, 2001 07:06 PM

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i'm sure that made lou's day, did you give him your number?

ss1

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Posts: 2322 | From: tucson,az | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

JSngry

Member

Member # 1611

posted April 10, 2001 07:47 PM

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HEY ARIC-

(geezer story alert)When I was about your age, Red Garland used to play around Dallas. One night I worked up the nerve to sit-in with him. He came up to me afterwards, rapped, and offered positive comments and encouragement. We shared a smoke and a taste in the parking lot. I know EXACTLY how you feel, dude, EXACTLY!

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Posts: 10310 | From: tx, usa | Registered: Mar 2001 | IP: Logged

Joe Christmas

Member

Member # 119

posted April 10, 2001 07:47 PM

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Right on Aric. That must have been exciting for all three of you. What did he say?

Wait, I can hear the conversation now...

_________________________________________

MATT and ARIC sharing the same phone line: Dude! Hellyeah! We got his number!

(RING)

ARIC: Okay now, shhhh.

(RING)

ELDERLY WOMAN: Donaldson residence.

ARIC: Yes, uhm, is Lou there?

ELDERLY WOMAN: With whom am I speaking?

ARIC: Oh. Jeez. It's.....Hank?

ELDERLY WOMAN: Hold on please.

(silence as she puts the phone down)

MATT: Hank?? HELLYEAH!!! You're the man, Aric.

ARIC: I know. Shut up, Matt. He might hear us.

MATT: Sorry.

LOU: ahem. Mmmhello?

ARIC: Lou?

LOU: Yes?

MATT and ARIC in unison: HELLYEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

LOU: Who is this?

ARIC: Well Lou, my name is Aric and I love Blue Note and you're the man and I have your number and I thought I'd call and tell you how great that you are.

MATT: Hellyeah.

LOU: Who's that there?

MATT: I'm Matt. I'm in the other room.

LOU: Oh. Well, thank you young man. What can I do for you?

ARIC: Remember in 1954 when you came charging in with that kickass line after Horace did that vamp and then ya'll returned to the head and you just wailed?

LOU: I think so. Yes.

ARIC: That rocked.

MATT: Hellyeah!!!!!!!!!!

ARIC: Hellyeah.

LOU: Well, thank you Aric. So you a jazz fan, huh?

ARIC: Sheeit. Oh my god you just don't know, Lou. I am so ****ed up right now and you're on the phone and this is the coolest thing in Holy **** I'm ****ing talking to Lou ***ing Donaldson **** ******* ***!!!!!

LOU: Okay.

MATT: You're the bomb Mr. Donaldson.

LOU: Usually my fans write or say hello to me in person.

ARIC: Can we come see you?

LOU: No.

ARIC: I understand. You're probably busy as all hell, huh sir?

LOU: Yes.

ARIC: So that cover for HERE 'TIS is phat. Could you tell me what it is that you're giving that guy on the cover? Is it a buck or somethin'?

LOU: No. It's a sammich.

MATT: A sandwich?

LOU: Yes.

ARIC: He said sammich!! How dope is that? Hellyeah. I play organ and I know some of your tunes from your funky period.

LOU: Well thank you. Say, I need to split. My oven roast is ready. The hot rolls too.

ARIC: Gravy Train.

LOU: Gravy Train.

MATT: Hellyeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARIC: Can we call you again, Lou?

LOU: Anytime. This was a nice conversation.

ARIC: Right on. You rock.

MATT: Yeah.

LOU: Ok now. Thanks for the cheer. God bless you.

ARIC: Bye Lou.

MATT: Bye Mr. Donaldson.

LOU: Goodbye now.

(click)

MATT and ARIC in unison: Holy ****ing **** ******* ************* **** ***!!!!

ARIC: That was soooooo phat.

MATT: Today was a good day.

ARIC: Yeah.

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Author Topic: oh my god you wont belive what is going on on the BN board via my computer

ariceffron

Member

Member # 701

posted May 17, 2002 02:47 AM

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I was typin' a post out and all of a sudden the letters kept morphing between small case and upper case. And please do not just quip 'haha aric is just tripping blah blah' because im NOT. I'm writing a paper about the power shifts of the Supreme court in the 20th (century, that is) and ****ing, do you guys know I mentioned in one part, my favorite non blue note record (maybe)-- DADDY PLAYS THE HORN, on Oh Ye Old Holy Lande of Bethlehem Recording Co.???

Hell-yeah. Casue in 1963 they finally repealed California's law sayin' that its illegal to be an addict. If ****ing Warren did that at the BEGGINING of his term instead of the middle, Dexter would have recorded more albums in 1955 than just a caddy for DADDY PLAYS THE HORN and that other one. Hell-yeah.

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Posts: 1834 | From: From San Diego, CA; Stuck in Tacoma, WA | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

soulstation1

Member

Member # 1047

posted May 17, 2002 08:31 AM

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where's milesdavis to translate this stuff..

ss1

[ May 17, 2002: Message edited by: soulstation1 ]

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Æ’UEÆ’WÆ’SÆ’

The Gigolo is coming....

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Posts: 2322 | From: tucson,az | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

JSngry

Member

Member # 1611

posted May 17, 2002 08:48 AM

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Sounds like the Caps Lock key is wigging out...

And, once again, the laws against possession have never changed. I believe that you could once be arrested just for having tracks, and THAT'S what was overturned. But possession was, and still is, criminal.

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Posts: 10310 | From: tx, usa | Registered: Mar 2001 | IP: Logged

leo463

Member

Member # 1695

posted May 17, 2002 08:48 AM

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were you out chasing rabbits again?

"Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatterfs remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was

certainly English. gI donft quite understand you,f she said, as politely as she could."

"One pill makes you larger

And one pill makes you small,

And the ones that mother gives you

Don't do anything at all.

Go ask Alice

When she's ten feet tall.

And if you go chasing rabbits

And you know you're going to fall,

Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar

Has given you the call.

Call Alice

When she was just small.

When the men on the chessboard

Get up and tell you where to go

And you've just had some kind of mushroom

And your mind is moving low.

Go ask Alice

I think she'll know.

When logic and proportion

Have fallen sloppy dead,

And the White Knight is talking backwards

And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"

Remember what the dormouse said:

"Feed your head. Feed your head. Feed your head"

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Posts: 1267 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged

MilesDavis

Member

Member # 575

posted May 23, 2002 09:25 AM

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quote:

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Originally posted by ariceffron:

I was typin' a post out and all of a sudden the letters kept morphing between small case and upper case....

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With my keyboard as my quill and the screen as my canvas, I was typing a message when all of a sudden, the most strange thing began to occur. The letters I were typing seem to take a mind of its own. Like the randomness of the vast universe, the letters were changing from upper to lower case. And, good sir, even though you may be inclined to think that this is a figment of my imagination created by my intake of drugs, I assure you that I hath seen it with mine own eyes. I am currently writing a essay on the power shifts in the United States Supreme Court in the 20th (I shall amend this to say century, so as not to confuse one and all) and fiddlesticks, hath I ever diluged that mine favorite non-Blue Note recording is Daddy Plays the Horn on ye o'little town of Bethlehem Recording Company. Gad zooks, I may have not. Right on! Do you know that in the year of our Lord 1963, they ended the tyrannous law in California that made it illegal to be a drug enthusiast. If that knucklehead the Earl of Warren did that when he took office rather than later on then Prince Dexter of Gordon would hath committed more to wax than only a caddy for Daddy Plays The Horn and some other which I can't quite picture. Oh, damned mind, that it would recall things when it needed to. Hurrah!

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Posts: 1021 | From: | Registered: Dec 1999 | IP: Logged

It goes on from there, but I don't know how to fit it.

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Topic: YOU ARE HOLDING THE KEY TO SOMETHING VERY VERY IMPORTANT

ariceffron

Member

Member # 701

posted April 29, 2002 01:41 AM

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All I can say is that over the past few days, I have witnessed hundreds and hundreds of young people drive through three states and even across int'l lines to try and see this band Medeski Martin and Wood. On a sidenote for bluenote fans, in Seattle their trombonist was Julian Priester and a lot of the music was not far from his Sun Ra roots. On another side note: vancouver is weird. cool but man, its like goin' to england for the weekend, i swear to god. You had to use their money and all the chicks were those hottie short haired euro lookin' ones and their street signs looked funny and they used the metic system. It was surreal I tell you. And all this **** is only 3 hrs away from me!! Holy ****!!! The coolest part though was when I walked into this one record store and the guy was playin' a Big John Patton record.

[ April 29, 2002: Message edited by: ariceffron ]

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Posts: 1834 | From: From San Diego, CA; Stuck in Tacoma, WA | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

money jungle

Member

Member # 3068

posted April 29, 2002 05:55 AM

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how was mmw? what did you get at the record shop ariceffron? do you have their new blue note cd?

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pay up eric.

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Posts: 20 | From: Warm Valley | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged

impossible

Member

Member # 515

posted April 29, 2002 06:08 AM

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aric, do you think you can get a copy of the Seattle MMW performance w/ Julian Priester? I would love to hear that! Isn't marijuana decriminalized in Vancouver?

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Posts: 1902 | From: Riverside, RI | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged

MilesDavis

Member

Member # 575

posted April 29, 2002 10:22 AM

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quote:

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Originally posted by ariceffron:

All I can say is that over the past few days, I have witnessed hundreds and hundreds of young people drive through three states and even across int'l lines to try and see this band Medeski Martin and Wood. On a sidenote for bluenote fans, in Seattle their trombonist was Julian Priester and a lot of the music was not far from his Sun Ra roots. On another side note: vancouver is weird. cool but man, its like goin' to england for the weekend, i swear to god. You had to use their money and all the chicks were those hottie short haired euro lookin' ones and their street signs looked funny and they used the metic system. It was surreal I tell you. And all this **** is only 3 hrs away from me!! Holy ****!!! The coolest part though was when I walked into this one record store and the guy was playin' a Big John Patton record.

[ April 29, 2002: Message edited by: ariceffron ]

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Translation:

Friends, foes and Blue Note fans, lend me your ears! O'er the past few days, mine eyes hath witnessed a legion of our youth make a harrowing trek through three states and even across the border to attempt to watch a band christened Martin, Medeski and Wood. [Aside] While in Seattle, they employed a trombonist by the name of Julian Priester and the music they played was not unlike that of Sun Ra. [Aside] Vancouver does not strike me as normal. It hath its good qualities but good sir, it is not unlike a trip to merry Ol' England for two days as God as my witness, may I be struck down with his wrath if I am proven incorrect. I frequenly lamented the fact that I needed to use their currency to purchase food and drink to replenish my heart and soul, (Oh! Woe is me!) and the women there were quite tempting to look at. There hair looked like it been recently been cut and their skirts but covered only a bit of their legs. It was enough to make me proclaim "Get thee to a nunnery!" Vancouver also used a form measurement called Metric. Ah, fickle finger of fate that thoust did not use the Imperial system. It was like I had entered a new reality where feet became metres and the flight of the yellow cuckoo was measured in kilmetres rather than miles. Their street signs also looked quite foreign. And to think, good sir, that all this nonsense is but 3 hours from my humble abode. My goodness! I must let you know that during my travels, I entered a record store only to hear the merry sounds of Robin John Patton and his band of merry men. Hurrah! Hurrah!

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Posts: 1021 | From: | Registered: Dec 1999 | IP: Logged

nately

Member

Member # 1515

posted April 29, 2002 10:48 AM

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quote:

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Originally posted by impossible:

aric, do you think you can get a copy of the Seattle MMW performance w/ Julian Priester? I would love to hear that! Isn't marijuana decriminalized in Vancouver?

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If you're lucky the info on the show you want will eventually show up here (which will happen if it's popular enough to get circulated): http://db.etree.org/shnlist.php?artist=34&year=2002

I think Seattle was the 24th and Vancouver was the 26th (of April). Check out the 4/12 show, Norah Jones did a track with them.

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Posts: 304 | From: Oakland | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

impossible

Member

Member # 515

posted April 29, 2002 11:18 AM

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Miles, that was the funniest yet! They just keep getting better!

Nately, thanks for the link. I will add this to my favorites and check back later. You never know when a thread will disappear!

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Posts: 1902 | From: Riverside, RI | Registered: Nov 1999 | IP: Logged

First Pressing

Member

Member # 2752

posted June 05, 2002 02:12 PM

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up, because this is still the funniest post (and subsequent translation) that I've seen in the year I've been reading the board, and because another member PM'd me with a question about it.

[ June 05, 2002: Message edited by: First Pressing ]

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Posts: 366 | From: The pokey | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged

ariceffron

Member

Member # 701

posted June 05, 2002 07:02 PM

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what was the private message about. its my thread so shouldn't i know.

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Posts: 1834 | From: From San Diego, CA; Stuck in Tacoma, WA | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

MilesDavis

Member

Member # 575

posted June 06, 2002 05:21 AM

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quote:

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Originally posted by ariceffron:

what was the private message about. its my thread so shouldn't i know.

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By virtue of the message being prive and not sent to you, you have absolutely no right to know. To compensate, I'll send you one.

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Posts: 1021 | From: | Registered: Dec 1999 | IP: Logged

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Author Topic: I MET WAYNE SHORTER AND HERBIE HANCOCK TONIGHT!!!!!

ariceffron

Member

Member # 701

posted November 19, 2000 06:12 AM

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Holy ****! I talked w/ Herbie and Wayne. Just the 4 sponsers (one who was **hot**) and me and my man Brian. Wayne said he played w/ Hank when he was 17 years old!!!!

I'll tell you more when I'm not stoned as ****. We were listenin' to at one point Places n spaces, so we had to sprinkle some disco dust on dat dere reefer! Holey ****. Herbie remembered me.

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Posts: 1834 | From: From San Diego, CA; Stuck in Tacoma, WA | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

shrugs

Member

Member # 356

posted November 19, 2000 11:57 AM

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keep your coke joint stories to yourself. I can tolerate the reefer but "disco dust" ain't no laughing matter.

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Posts: 4739 | From: back east | Registered: Mar 99 | IP: Logged

nathan

Member

Member # 328

posted November 20, 2000 09:23 AM

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My heart goes out to Herbie and Wayne!

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Posts: 1174 | From: Brooklyn, NY. | Registered: Mar 99 | IP: Logged

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