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[ghost of miles]

Is it better to just leave a situation with hurt feelings, or is it better to work on fixing the situation. I'm not making light of anyone's hurt feelings, but it does nobody any good to be angry. I think if you have a problem with someone, or if they crossed the line with you, you should call them on it.

Seriously, this is how wars start. Maybe someone makes hurtful statements out of ignorance. Is it better to just let them stay ignorant, while you hate them. I don't think so. I think the best thing is to show the person that has offended you what they did and why you were offended.

I'm telling you, I respect everyone's feelings. I just believe it is best to try to heal the situation than stay angry.

Wise words, AB.

I should just take a break from this. I like far too many of the people here and hate being at such odds... think I'll thrash around in some jazz 'n fluff threads for awhile.

Edited March 18, 2005 by ghost of miles

[RDK]

Why?

Because if someone pisses off a friend of mine, I take it personally.

And if someone I like is upset, I take his or her emotional state seriously. I don't simply blow it off and suggest that they either get over it or try to be more unemotional.

I'd take it personally, too, but to what end? If Che says something you disagree with, then call him on it (which many do). If he says something hateful, hurts someone feelings, or pisses someone off, then by all means you can dislike the guy. But are you suggesting here that because he "pisses off a friend of yours" that he should be banned?

I think I finally understood Deus/Dizzy's point as well, but this is an internet chat board and disagreements are to be expected. To suggest that someone "get over it" isn't being dismissive of anyone's feelings - it's just the nature of the beast. If someone gets that upset over something said here, I'd likely recommend that that person take a break rather than ban the offending party... so long as the offending party isn't doing anything against the rules. And I say that knowing full well that I'd much prefer Deus around here than Che.

[Guest che]

Why?

Because if someone pisses off a friend of mine, I take it personally.

And if someone I like is upset, I take his or her emotional state seriously. I don't simply blow it off and suggest that they either get over it or try to be more unemotional.

It's the making light of how others feel that drives me nuts. And I believe that's what deus was trying to get across to some of you folks.

Not everyone can be as even-tempered and mellow as you apparently are. Some are more emotional, or, maybe to be fair, less in control of their emotions.

But somehow it's OK to call someone a fucking idiot, tell him to fuck off, compare him to all kinds of shit, and that's nothing to condemn or worry about? You don't think he might have feelings too? He's not a fucking Wankyjazz troll! Seems to me like this whole discussion is about treating one another with dignity, humanity, and respect. I see very precious fucking little of it... Why don't y'all try a little constructive criticism instead of all the shit-throwing that's going on?

I read your post and I realised what I was doing here.

You and people like Africabrass, Jazz Kat etc are very brave people, brave because you are prepared to 'swim against the tide', with all the consequences that this brings.

Che.

[cannonball-addict]

14 users are reading this topic!!!

[Jim Alfredson]

So now it's my job to make sure nobody's feelings get hurt?!?

Christ almighty....

I'm sorry Chaney... I love you, man. I really appreciate you being here. Seriously, I mean that. And the same goes for deus62 and brownie and j.a.w. and anyone else who has recently left, but I mean... c'mon. If you can't read something on a bulletin board with over 300,000 posts without getting so upset that every other post on that board is worthless, then just go.

I mean, really. che might be the most ignorant fool on the planet. Or he might be misunderstood. Or he might be a troll. Or he might be an anti-semite. But it is not my job to make sure that you are not personally offended by something that someone says here. It is my job to enforce the rules that I've set down as I see fit. che, as annoying as he may be to some people, has not violated any of those rules.

There have been plenty of things said by some of the conservatives here in the politics forum that I find absolutely apalling (and I'm not going to name examples because it doesn't matter) and that have really stoke my fire. But you know what? Everybody sees things differently and just because somebody here sees things differently from me doesn't mean I'm going to stomp off and never return. It just means I think they are idiots.

And there are a handful of people here that I think are morons. And there are a few that I think are very callous. But does that mean they don't have a right to be here? Does that mean I ban them, just because I think they're annoying or idiotic or whatever? Would that be fair?

I agree that the best way to resolve these conflicts are using the PM system. In fact, just recently, one poster personally offended me. We resolved the conflict in PMs. I have sent and received my fair share of apologies over the last few years.

There are some here that are kind of negative. Fine. Some people are just that way. I choose to hang around and interact with positive people, but sometimes we all have to deal with negative people. That's life. And the same goes for here. Sometimes we have to deal with negative people. Or we can just choose to ignore them.

Getting upset at people because they are not as upset as you are... I don't really get that either.

[ghost of miles]

Why?

Because if someone pisses off a friend of mine, I take it personally.

And if someone I like is upset, I take his or her emotional state seriously. I don't simply blow it off and suggest that they either get over it or try to be more unemotional.

It's the making light of how others feel that drives me nuts. And I believe that's what deus was trying to get across to some of you folks.

Not everyone can be as even-tempered and mellow as you apparently are. Some are more emotional, or, maybe to be fair, less in control of their emotions.

But somehow it's OK to call someone a fucking idiot, tell him to fuck off, compare him to all kinds of shit, and that's nothing to condemn or worry about? You don't think he might have feelings too? He's not a fucking Wankyjazz troll! Seems to me like this whole discussion is about treating one another with dignity, humanity, and respect. I see very precious fucking little of it... Why don't y'all try a little constructive criticism instead of all the shit-throwing that's going on?

I read your post and I realised what I was doing here.

You and people like Africabrass, Jazz Kat etc are very brave people, brave because you are prepared to 'swim against the tide', with all the consequences that this brings.

Che.

All I'd say is throw out some olive branches... be less aggressive yourself in how you respond to folks... and deal with the fact that this is a tightknit, long-running community that feels very protective because most of us realize what a unique and special place it is. Get the lay of the land, treat it with respect, and eventually that respect will be given back to you.

[Christiern]

I have gone through this long, often boring thread again and I am still unable to see any reason why Che's departure is on anybody's wish list. Will someone please tell me what Che has done? No hunches.

[Jim Alfredson]

C'mon folks, this board has to last at least until the next Organissimo record arrives. I'm counting on at least 100 sales from this place!!!!

[Brad]

I'm with Catesta on this one. The guy's a fuckin cancer. He should do what his father should have done: Pull out.

[Rooster_Ties]

If people have a problem with Che, or with anybody else around here for that matter (including me), they should just ignore that person. That's mostly what I do with Che (sorry Che, but that's the way it goes -- you have stirred up some degree of trouble here, no doubt about that).

But unless and until Che breaks the rules, Free Speech should generally rule the day.

We need to forget that we ALL play a part in this too. People should think before they post (a problem I've had myself on occasion, so I'm certainly not immune). And people realize that they contribute to the overall temperature of the place, and to the raging fire of threads like this.

Think this thread is stupid?? Does it raise your blood pressure?? Then don't read it!! And don't post in it either. It'll die down one of these days, if it isn't locked before then.

I'm pretty much through here (meaning I'm through with this thread, no, not with the board!! ), other than my occasional suggestions to lock the damn thing.

Edited March 19, 2005 by Rooster_Ties

[AfricaBrass]

All I'd say is throw out some olive branches... be less aggressive yourself in how you respond to folks... and deal with the fact that this is a tightknit, long-running community that feels very protective because most of us realize what a unique and special place it is. Get the lay of the land, treat it with respect, and eventually that respect will be given back to you.

[Jim Alfredson]

I'm with Catesta on this one. The guy's a fuckin cancer. He should do what his father should have done: Pull out.

This is helping things?

[Guest che]

I'm with Catesta on this one. The guy's a fuckin cancer. He should do what his father should have done: Pull out.

I do not know why it is you can say this to me and nothing happens!

Che.

[Rooster_Ties]

C'mon folks, this board has to last at least until the next Organissimo record arrives. I'm counting on at least 100 sales from this place!!!!

[dave9199]

Don't get Chaney upset! Who will post in the Jandek thread with me?!?

[ghost of miles]

C'mon folks, this board has to last at least until the next Organissimo record arrives. I'm counting on at least 100 sales from this place!!!!

When will it be "up for pre-ordering?" B-)

[Guest che]

This evening I was talking with a few people about my interest in Norwegian Jazz, on a Jazz forum, now I am being told that my father should have 'pulled out', that I am a 'fuckin cancer' etc etc.

When will people see what is going on here?

Che aka Andrew.

[Jazz Kat]

This is bullshit. The level of disrespect here is big. Too big.

[AfricaBrass]

I'm with Catesta on this one.  The guy's a fuckin cancer.  He should do what his father should have done: Pull out.

I do not know why it is you can say this to me and nothing happens!

Che.

Because he has the right to say what he will, just as you do, as long as he's not threatening you.

This is the kind of stuff that happens when we don't treat each other with respect. It illustrates why we don't just come into this place and say whatever we will. It's your right to, but there's always a consequence. This is the time to rise above, apologize to each other and move on.

[Jim Alfredson]

I'm tired of this thread. Here is the simple facts, folks.

I moderate this board as I see fit. I am open to suggestions, but it is my decision who gets banned, what posts are ok and which are not.

The board is what you make of it. The tone is determined by YOU. You can either choose to be a part of the problem by being negative and disrespectful, or you can help by being positive, trying to see the other side, and having some patience for those that don't agree with you.

Enough!