Templejazz Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 (edited) I was cleaning out an old email account and came across these: Jazz Musicians' Haiku Money's everything Playing any gig that comes Whores, we are all whores Squeaking and squawking All eyes roll to the heavens The clarinet speaks One beat to change from Harmon to cup to bucket Hey, who wrote this crap? Here comes the high note The lead trumpeter puckers Clam, clam, Fuck!, clam, Shit! The jam session starts Somebody calls "Giant Steps" Cold fear grips my brain Here's the girl singer Stepping to the microphone Pitch, Time, All gone now Gig is going well Asshole requests "Stevie Ray!" I look at my watch I once had a dream Big house, new car, big money Now I play the bass Gorgeous chick tells me "You sound just like Kenny G" Quitting music now Three-eight, eleven-eight Fuck you Andrew Lloyd Webber Five-eight, seven-eight The woodwind doubler Practicing the piccolo (Neighbor calls the cops) Trane, Prez, Bird, Brecker Giants of the saxophone Eat shit Kenny G Pit orchestra gig Days and nights become as one I have no damned life Bad intonation Strings are sharp and reeds are flat Brass too loud again Great changes, good groove A one-in-a-million gig No singer. Yippee! Post more jazz and music related humour here. Edited May 14, 2003 by Templejazz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted May 14, 2003 Report Share Posted May 14, 2003 New line of clothing for bass players: Wilburwear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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