Insanely confusing instructions

[J Larsen]

I just bought a new photo printer.

The first line in the start-up guide is

"Please confirm bundled thing by the illustration printed on the flapped lid of the packing box."

I may be in for a long night.

[Noj]

[Peter Johnson]

[J Larsen]

After several failed attempts, I finally got a picture to come out of the bundled thing.

[Rosco]

When I saw this thread a few weeks back I immediately thought of the instructions that came with a TV set my parents bought a few years ago. Well, wouldn't you know it, last week said TV set went on the fritz and my folks went and bought a new one (which I had to set up for them). Turns out they still had the instructions for the old set, from which I give you the following (I've tried to make sure all wording and punctuation is verbatim):

Information Menu

You can enter this menu pressing the Information menu button after one of the menus.

In the information menu on main menu, it is explained how to select and go one [sic] of the submenus and exit that menu.

In the information menu on other menus except installation menu, it is explained how to select and change the items, go to previous menu and exit that menu.

In the information menu on installation menu, it is explained how to select and go to submenu, go to previous menu and exit that menu and in the information menu on menus in the installation menu, it is explained how to select and change the items, go to previous menu and exit that menu.

Uh.... ok....

The instructions for the new set aren't much better. I never read these things now, I just wade in.

[Rosco]

Another sample from the same instruction booklet:

To change standard

Pressing the “P up” or “P down” button select Standard option. Then select the standard you want pressing “>” or “<” button. When changing the standard this way, if the previous channel is not defined for the new selected standard, then also the channel will be changed to the first defined channel of that standard (For example: When changing BG to K1 and the previous channel is C12, after changing the standard, the channel will be C4, because the first defined channel of standard K1 is C4). After that, if it is returned to the previous standard back, the channel will not be changed to the previous one anymore (That means, in the example above, when it is returned from K1 to BG again, the channel will not change to C12 anymore and keep C4).

Oh, and nowhere in the booklet does it actually explain to you what the 'standard' actually is or what it does.

[kinuta]

A useful rule of thumb for stress free interaction with newly purchased gadgets is to immediately chuck the instructions in the rubbish and learn by trial and error.

[Dave James]

Globalization strikes again. This is what happens when you outsource instruction writing. You know...anything to save a buck. I mean, you've already purchased whatever whomever was trying to sell, so why should whomever care at that point if you can actually get whatever to work.

Up over and out.

Edited January 25, 2006 by Dave James

[patricia]

This is not a new problem. It's not always bad translation of an original manufacturer's instructions. Sometimes it's simpler than that.

Some years ago I was working for a telephone company, when telephones with memories were first available for lease. The phone we were leasing was flying out to the customers, promoted by free use for the first ninety days. But, they were coming back, after the free period at almost the same rate.

I got tired of accepting the returns and wondered what the problem was. It was the enclosed instructions.

So, I approached my manager and asked if I could demonstrate to the installers the use of it so that they could show the customer and answer questions. I was amazed that many of them knew nothing about the relatively simple piece of equipment they were bringing to the customer. I also took the instructions home. They were impossible to understand, if you didn't already know how to program and use the phone. I re-wrote the instructions and the revised booklet, written by me, was sent to the manufacturer. Those instructions were subseqently used by them and the phones stayed out there.

This is an aspect which is often overlooked and is as important as the features offered by whatever it is that the customer has bought.

For example, the fact that so many people don't know how to program their VCRs has become classic.

I found that in the situation I fixed, too many assumptions are made about how much the customer already knows. I approached the instructions from the point of view that the customer would know nothing and that the instructions had to start at the beginning, in simple language. IT WORKED.

Edited January 26, 2006 by patricia

[Guest]

Rosco, your posts gave me giggle fits. My sisters and I joke about this kind of thing all the time.

And Patricia, I totally agree. You need to start from the very beginning with the instruction manual. It reminds me of a time in school when we had to write a very discriptive story about the making of a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich (for example). We had to pretend that the reader had no idea how to even open the bag of bread. Every tiny detail was spelled out.

It just makes me crazy when an instruction book uses the word itself to describe its meaning. How is that helpful?

[frank m]

When I was in industry, we received a brochure from a Japanese company describing a piece of electronics they made that "was fitted with an alarming device"