Looking for some help....

[catesta]

It's really tough for me 'cause I'm not the parent.

Oh really?

Not the parent, obviously. But if you're providing for their needs, and if you're living with thier mother (and providing for some or all of her needs) and you're not being a "parent" in some form or fashion, then you're being a chump.

That probably sounds a lot harsher than I mean for it to, but dude - you've got these people in your life now. If they need some direction, give it to them and don't apologize or feel guilty for it.

Doesn't mean you gotta be an insensitive prick about it or not seek outside assistance, but hey - there's a time to lead and a time to follow. The time to follow is when somebody's got a better sense of direction than you do. The time to lead is when nobody else does. Right now, the latter seems like it might be the case.

From what I've come to know of you, not having a sense of direction has never been a problem. It's now a question of using it on an intimate group, and not just on yourself or on business associates.

Step up, and good luck.

A chump? Why you dirty mutha....

In all seriousness I have indeed assumed a role as a parent type. But you gotta understand I'm not their father and have no kids of my own so it's an odd place to be. I can only advise on things how I see them.

After last night's discussion the kids did say that they would stay and make the best of it if that was the direction we decided to go. But both said they no for sure Arizona would make them happier.

As for leading.

Well, I lead them all here, but this was a move for me more so than us. I was fortunate Catrina wanted to come along. I owe her the courtesy and respect to make the decision for what she feels is best for her kids.

In the end I'm cool if the kids want to return to Arizona and she goes as well. I'll miss her, but we will work it out and visits are in order.

I have a lot going on here and shit can and probably will get hairy, so I will probably thank them when it's all said and done.

[chris olivarez]

Good luck to you man. I'm sure things will work out the way they're supposed to.

[skeith]

Chris,

as a former Clevelander, I think moving to NYC is tough for most people- it's too big, too in your face, too dirty, too chaotic, too so many people. I like a lot about NYC but I don't know that I will ever get used to all of it.

My wife was ready to leave until we moved to Westchester and since then she has found it tolerable- it is just a little bit less in your face.

Not sure if it applies to your situation, but might be a solution for your family.