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A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and announces loudly to everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus, able to play any musical instrument in the world.

Everyone in the crowd laughs at him, calls him an idiot, and so on. But he says he will wager $50 that the octopus can play any musical instrument anyone cares to produce.

One man rushes out to his car and comes back with a guitar, which he sets beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Andres Segovia, just rippin' it up. So the man is impressed and pays his owner the $50.

Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So this man pays his $50.

Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sets them down beside the cephalopod and the octopus fumbles with them for fully a minute, turning them over and over. Then it puts them down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says, "See, ye canna play it!"

"Play it?" says the octopus. "As soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off, I'm going to shag it!"

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