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I'm with B 100% on this. When I was on Maynard Ferguson's Band the first year was heaven. NO CHICKIES ON THE BUS. Maynard even used to say that the way to destroy a band is to bring one chickie on the bus and the whole band will be at odds. Same thing goin' on with this thread. Bunch of cats havin' a ball. How many chickies have posted on this thread?? ONE !! Ironically, Maynard brought his stepdaughter, Kim, on the bus the second year. The whole band turned to shit. Same thing goin' on here. Now the thread has turned to shit. The Groper is tryin' to bird dog Patty and the place is in an uproar. I originated this thread to get Albertson to commit to writing some liner notes for my upcoming Big Band CD and now THIS??? Patty, You just can't help yourself can you? You feel an uncontrollable urge to be at the center of desirability with the cats. Well you've done it again. Got the whole scene blown out. CLASP!! DEEP

I guess a guy can't even run out to Wal-Mart for a few essentials without certain DILETTANTES gettin' all HIGH-TONED on him. (Thanks for bringing it back to earth level, DEEP.) Actually, I got hung up in the parking lot of my favorite emporium (that is, since the Hudson's Bay Co. went belly-up). Some ART CONCESSIONAIRES were offering a fine line of first-edition oil-on-velveteen masterworks out of the rear of a VINTAGE Chevy van. I availed myself of this rare opportunity to purchase a most elegant sofa-sized rendering of a hairless nude woman, purportedly the wife of a minor functionary in the employ of the 16th Century Florentine Medici family, renowned for their superior taste and ruthlessness. I carted my treasure home and, keeping in mind PATRICIA's strident exhortations, mounted the beauty above my ugly plaid sofa, DIRECTLY BLOCKING THE VIEW through my bay window. (There were nothing but trees and the morning sunrise to see there anyway.) Then, from my recliner, I consumed a volume of SAKE while contemplating, at my leisure, my good fortune at having PATTY to correct my myriad deficiencies and perversions. PHILISTINE? AU CONTRAIRE! I am now an ARRIVISTE, AVANT GARDE, even. I am now officially the first GAY MASTURBATOR south of CANADA, a distinction not even Conn500 can claim (right?). Thank you, Patty--I mean BUTCH!

Now them's SQUIRTIN' WORDS !! I don't see The Groper takin' that kinda shit from a woman he's yet to penetrate. Patty is proving my long standing theory that, BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN THERE'S A WOMAN....TELLIN' HIM HE'S WRONG!!! Even Ol' Ben Franklin had to put up with this sort of shit. One day he was out flyin' his kite tryin' to discover electricity when his o'l lady stuck her head out of an upstairs window and yelled down, "Benjamin, you'll never get that thing up without a piece of tail", to which he muttered, "Listen to this bitch, last night I asked her for a piece of tail and she told me TO GO FLY A FUCKIN' KITE!!" I have a gut feeling that The Groper is gonna unload on Patty and tell it like it is. He hasn't survived 5 marriages to sit around and take abuse from a chickie who has yet to get laid in the new millenium. Over to THE GROPER !!! DEEP

Matchmaking is one thing, Patty; doing my utmost to prevent you from falling into the soiled and twisted clutches of DEEP is another. Don't be fooled by GROPE's plaid shirts and all his talk of sexual quiescence. I bet he's a real tiger! And don't think I don't appreciate it. However, I could never be with an ugly plaid-shirted, baseball-capped man who has no style, no matter what tiger-like, boudoirian prowess he may possess. I regret my shallowness, but there it is. Now you've done it, GROPE. You've not only managed to piss off all the board lefties with your political comments, but now you've comprehensively alienated Patty as well. Regarding those plaid shirts of yours: take a trip to Walmart and UPGRADE!

I guess that after 1240 posts our boy CHRISTIERN has no intention of UNCLENCHING *HIS* KEESTER. B-3, How 'bout changing the thread title to: PATTY, Time to unclench your keester. I can see her pursed lips glaring at the screen, but in Patty's case, I believe there is still some hope. DEEP

In the words of that great humanitarian, Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?" (AND SEE PATTY NAKED??) {Parenthesis my add}. After all, if Janet Jackson can show titty during a superbowl halftime show, Patty should have no compunction in displaying a still photo of some DOOKY at ORGANissimo should she?? I see God Awful Squawk (Goodspeak) has joined the party. I suppose we can expect Disco and the rest of the WOD (Webmistress of Death) Wretches to follow in his wake any time now. OH GOODY, GARY DISCO AND BLATHERSKITE, AND THE WIDOW BISHOP...WHAT A HAPPY REUNION OF *LOSERS* !! DEEP

Aw shucks, Patty--I thought I WAS being interesting--perceptive and entertaining even. Obviously I've hit a nerve. I tell you what--let's take a poll. All other posters vote yea or nay on the question: Were Patty's posts on masturbatory devices HOT, and does she seem to have a strange attraction to DEEP's repulsive vulgarities? I am totally disinterested--in hibernation reconfirmed--in no way possessive (that was DEEP) All I care about is TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE CANADIAN WAY!

Excuse me, The Groper, (while I step over Gary's purile post) but what could be the harm in inviting Patty to come by and view your etchings. It might palliate her *ITCHINGS*. (That tight sweater...you know). I think you and Patty would make perfect strangers and that's why I've introduced her to you. It's high time you made it with a PERFECT STRANGER!! DEEP GROPER, I'm somewhat hurt to have my observations about your President being classified as "Ignorant Canadian Rants". The Emperor has no clothes, GROPER. Don't just read the American press. As for the personal massager details I posted, it wasn't an inventory of my possessions, but merely an explanation of what is, or has been available to those who wish to know about such things. I seek only to inform. Also, I am indeed of slight stature, but I have inner ferocity and resent being "given" to anyone. So I say to our thread originator, nobody owns me and only that which is yours can ever be given away. And I own no tight sweaters, dog sleds or snowmobiles. I don't live in an igloo either. I must admit though, I did feel a slight burst of pride at being described as a "Perfect Stranger". Nobody has ever thought I was a perfect anthing before. Thank you for the lop-sided compliment.

Excuse me, The Groper, (while I step over Gary's purile post) but what could be the harm in inviting Patty to come by and view your etchings. It might palliate her *ITCHINGS*. (That tight sweater...you know). I think you and Patty would make perfect strangers and that's why I've introduced her to you. It's high time you made it with a PERFECT STRANGER!! DEEP

THE GROPER, Obviously you haven't seen PATTY. There is a photo of her over at THE WOD'S (WEBMISTRESS OF DEATH). The only thing a tight sweater would do for her is MAKE HER ITCH!! It appears she hasn't got enough ass to keep her CLAM OFF THE SHEETS..... .....but if your thing is chasing your chickies around the shower (so they can actually get wet) well then... ....PATTY IS YOURS !! DEEP

DEEP: I see you're in "green with envy" mode again. Let's try not to make this our own mutual rivalry. It's obvious that Patty is an exhibitionist who loves to prance and tease before the whole Organissimo crowd. All I'm saying is--GO FOR IT, PATTY! TAKE IT ALL OFF!

Let's see, Zihuatanejo--is that near Guantanamo or Guantanamera? And what's a "Bloviation kit?" Does any of it relate to Patty's history of dildoes? Why is she up to (only) her hips in snow and cold? Doesn't she have a remedy or is it a simple cry for help? C'mon, Patty, you were just hitting your stride with the teasing--Give us something we can really get off on!

OH YEAH, FUCK THE GROPER. ANYTIME I WANT PATTY, I CAN *HAVE* PATTY. DEEP

Conn Smythe Patty Smyth John McEnroe A V Roe R J Mitchell Olivia de Havilland

Conn Smythe Patty Smyth John McEnroe

Well it's been a nice ride but all good things must come to an end. With the Masterhit in place there is no point in expressing oneself openly. With over 21,000 views to date I find myself the General Macarthur of Organissimo. "Just a poster who tried to do his duty as he saw fit. Old posters never die, they just fade away" I bid you a fond farewell. I hope Patty finds happiness with her new playmate. THE GROPER, As Lester Young would say when accepting a sideman for a gig, "The slave is yours, baby". I hope Patty, Albertson, The Groper, Stapleton and the entire "No No Nanette" set are happy. I CLOSE THE IRON DOOR. GONE. DEEP

The Groper, I've just returned from a fitting at my Sports Sock Maker's shop. It was a grueling fitting so much of the wind has been taken out of my sails. I would like to say this as delicately and succinctly as possible.. ...DON'T TRY TO SUCK UP TO PATTY. IT DOESN'T CUT ANY ICE AROUND HERE. Re your comment about her having "hair" on her chest...after you get a little insight into her personality I'm sure you'll come to the conclusion that, as a bi-product of her prudence, the old saying, "You don't see grass on a playground" will take on a new dimension. It's a safe bet that Patty's chest, in the raw, looks like she's wearing an ANGORA SWEATER !! DEEP

The question remains: Is Patty the only chickie who posts (or is registered for that matter) at Organissimo? Maybe Patty would be willing to ignore this thread and leave it exclusively to "the guys"...sorta like the Elks Club or the YMCA?? I believe she'd do that willingly for THE GOOD OF THE ORDER. DEEP

QUESTION: Is PATTY the only chickie who posts at Organissimo?? If so, maybe we could respectfully request she leave thereby allowing us the freedom to say any fucking thing we choose. I'm sure if this is the case, Patty would understand...in fact she'd probably offer to abdicate her Queen's crown & throne. DEEP

The Groper, (I see most here have bastardized your name to "Groper, Grope" etc."...I choose to show you the respect you deserve after 5 marriages). Patty is a child of Canada so allow me to point out the reason for her convoluted thought processes: You and I and all Citizens of the USA have more options and more freedom to persue happiness than people anywhere else on earth. On the other hand, almost every other industrialized country will take better care of you. CANADA, France, Germany, The Scandinavian countries (take note Christiern), and Britain all have elaborate entitlements to their citizens, and even for illegal immigrants who manage to get into those countries. But the entitlements come with a steep price tag. Most people in those countries will never become wealthy and independent. And most can't even choose their medical and educational providers. Taxes are huge, and so are waiting lines for medical treatment and decent housing. With that stated maybe Patty would like to reveal her living conditions, financial status, marital status....NEED I CONTINUE?? DIG?? This should enlighten you has to her position on many of the discussed issues posted here. DEEP

I don't know what to say, Patty. I have never been involved in anything like the situation DEEP describes. I once had two in bed at the same time (this is bringing out some dark secrets,) but I was totally uncomfortable with the proceedings and in the end, nothing got done. It's solo for me, brothers and sisters, and no extra curricular in my 17 years of marriage. I am sympathetic to Patty's point of view, but I recognize DEEP's message that there are some women like that. Personally, I'm not into sharing my lady. There are no aphorisms on my part to offer regarding marriage or sex. I never figured anything out. Seems like GROPE's been through a lot.

But we want to HEAR Patty. Patty, PLEASE come back! I don't want to be left here all alone with a lecher and a lecher-in-hibernation...

Conn (a linguist), The CIA can see to it that it gets done. Doesn't have to be outwardly done by the United States...just initiated by us. I'm NOT suggesting Patty absquatulate...I'm just suggesting she bag the homogenization of the thread. Shit, who the fuck wants to talk about "Spike" Hughes when we can talk about getting sucked off, laid (well, apparently not in her case), and prurient pleasures. I believe there are threads addressing the music issues...this should not be one of them. It invites the squirrelies (like Stapleton etc.) Once that happens I'm back in the soup again. THE GROPER, CLASP for that sign-off. One of the most disgusting things on this site is CHRISTIERN'S" Cheney's myopia is Bush's vision" I'm glad you took a pass at that bullshit. BTW: Patty's pet phrase for us is "Noisy neighbors to the South". I wonder how long it would take Canada to completely fold if the U.S. went under? DEEP

I gotta put my two cents in here. I must politely disagree with some of Patty's comments, for the incident with Dan pretty much highlights all that is wrong with Mike's board. First of all, Patty, one thing I like about Dan is his passion and emotion. I tend to be emotionally-restrained on boards myself, but for Dan to do so would be dishonest and a violation of his personality. Dan: stay the way you are. Mike has always appeared as "nice" to me, but he has no right interrupting threads and directing them like a traffic cop. Well, he may have the right, but that's intrusive shit to me; and I aint posting in those kinds of boards. I much prefer Jim A's attitude here: it's his board and he has the right to come down on people, but his is extremely tolerant and doesn't try to direct threads like Mike did there. Allow people to be themselves. If they end up annoying everyone then they are skating on thin ice and can end up being banned like GregM was. For God's sake, allow people to be themselves. Jim A. does. Mike Ricci, apparently has more difficulty doing that. Mike jumps in to interrupt the interesting discussion between Kevin B and Chris A. I was learning all kinds of stuff in that exchange. It was a fascinating if contentious discussion. Ricci steps in for what?? I don't need that kind of crap. Kudos to you, Dan. Keep on TRUCKING!!

Have a great time. Your suggestions are noted and for the last time, I'm that tall, not that old. HAPPY NEW YEAR to you too. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU, PATTY. I must fess up....One of my New Year resolutions is that I will refrain from masturbating with you in mind (and I must say...they have been some of my better ejaculations). I LOVE YOU, PATTY. DEEP