A Classic in American Literature

[JSngry]

Shades of Brown

PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW PLAY

The Godfather of Soul goes for his first Obie.

James Brown once claimed to have written 5,500 songs -- more than Mozart,

Beethoven, and Berlin. (According to researchers at BMI, the number is closer

to 600.) In any case, The Hardest Working Man in Show Business has written a

hell of a lot of tunes. When we examined his discography, we noticed that he

had given many of his songs titles that appear to be clipped from

conversation -- so many, in fact, that we were able to arrange an entire

one-act play using only song titles (written or produced by Brown) as

dialogue. Even the play's title and the characters' names have been taken

from the discography. Look for the debut somewhere off-off-Broadway soon.

WHERE THE SOUL TREES GROW

A play by James Brown

Arranged by Alex Gregory and Peter Huyck

SCENE: STEVE SOUL (1969) and his wife, CALDONIA, (1964) are sitting on their

porch on a hot Georgia afternoon. They are seated side-by-side in a swing

chair, facing the street. CALDONIA is fanning herself and STEVE is gazing

across his lawn.

Caldonia:

There's Something on Your Mind. (1965)

Steve:

No, No, No. (1956)

Caldonia:

Tell Me What I Did Wrong. (1958)

Steve [turning away]:

It Hurts to Tell You. (1959)

Caldonia:

Gimme Your Hand. Come On Wit' It. Maybe I'll Understand. (1972, 1968, 1968)

Steve [pulls hand away]:

I Can't Stand Myself (When You Touch Me). (1967)

Caldonia:

I Won't Plead No More. I'm Not Demanding. (1957, 1969)

Steve [explodes]:

Baby, Don't You Know?! Papa Left Mama Holding the Bag! (1968, 1965)

Caldonia:

Slowdown. Unwind Yourself. (1960, 1967)

Steve [takes a deep breath]:

I Found Out ... Annie Had a Baby. Sweet Little Baby Boy. (1963, 1971, 1966)

Caldonia [leaps to her feet]:

It Was You?! (1959)

Steve:

Shhhhhhhh! Tell the Whole World! (1968, 1967)

Caldonia:

Again! [breaks into tears] Tell Me Why! Why Does Everything Happen to Me?

(1964, 1962, 1962)

Steve:

Oh Baby, Don't You Weep. I Can't Help It (I Just Do-Do-Do). (1964, 1965)

Caldonia:

There Must Be a Reason -- What Kind of Man ... Keep On Doin' What You're

Doin'? (1959, 1968, 1971)

Steve:

Got No Excuse. I'm a Greedy Man. And I Do Just What I Want. [looks off

wistfully into the distance] Sometimes That's All There Is. (1965, 1971,

1960, 1980)

Caldonia:

I'll Never Let You Break My Heart Again. [she gets up, goes inside the house,

and comes back out, carrying a suitcase.] I Won't Be Back. (1972, 1964)

Steve:

Baby Baby Baby. Hold It. [jumps to his feet and takes her arm.] You Don't

Have to Go. Stay with Me. I've Got to Change. I'll Work It Out. Stop and

Think It Over. (1964, 1961, 1962, 1981, 1963, 1968, 1965)

Caldonia:

Tell Me What You're Gonna Do. (1964)

Steve:

I Need Your Love So Bad. [caresses her cheek.] I'll Be Sweeter Tomorrow.

(1975, 1969)

Caldonia [pushing him away]:

Sayin' It and Doin' It Is Two Different Things. If You Want Me, You've Got

to Have a Job. (1972, 1961, 1969)

Steve:

I'll Lose My Mind! (1969)

Caldonia:

I Don't Care. How You Gonna Get Respect? (1964, 1968)

Steve:

I've Got Money, Woman. (1966, 1973)

Caldonia:

Money Won't Change You. I Don't Want Nobody to Give Me Nothing. (1966, 1969)

Steve:

Baby, You're Right. I Love You, Yes I Do. [gets down on one knee and takes

her hand.] Just You and Me, Darling. (1961, 1961, 1961)

Caldonia:

No More Heartaches, No More Pain? (1970)

Steve:

What Do I Have to Do to Prove My Love to You? The Brother's Under Pressure.

(1968, 1974)

Caldonia:

Respect ... The Truth. Make Up Your Mind. (1969, 1973, 1964)

Steve:

Try Me. You're in Real Good Hands. [he smiles lovingly at her.] You're So

Sexy. (1958, 1967, 1969)

Caldonia:

My Man. I'm Back to Stay. (1964, 1968)

[They embrace. He is looking over her shoulder in the direction of the

sidewalk. At that very moment, a stunningly voluptuous woman walks by.

STEVE's eyes bulge.]

Steve:

For Goodness Sakes, Look at Those Cakes! (1978)

Caldonia [slaps him]:

Get Out of My Life! (1969)

Steve:

Girl, Girl, Girl. Please, Please, Please. (1970, 1956)

Caldonia:

You Can't Love Me, If You Don't Respect Me. [she picks up her bags.] When

Loneliness Knocks at Your Door, Can Your Heart Stand It? [she starts down

the steps.] So Long. Write Me a Letter. (1975, 1964, 1981, 1964, 1964)

Steve [laughs mockingly]:

Talkin' Loud and Sayin' Nothing, Hot Pants. It's a Man's Man's Man's World.

You Know It. Only You ... Never Find a Love Like Mine. (1970, 1971, 1966,

1968, 1965, 1969)

Caldonia [pauses]:

I Know It's True. (1960)

Steve:

That's the Spirit. Come Over Here. (n/a, 1960)

Caldonia:

Your Love Was Good for Me. What a Feeling. [she drops her bags and runs

back to him.] (1967, 1968)

Steve:

Get Up, I Feel Like Being A Sex Machine. (1970)

Caldonia:

[They start to unbutton each other's clothes.] Bring It On ... Bring It On.

I Feel That Old Feeling Coming On. (1983, 1956)

Steve:

I Got Ants in My Pants, I Want You So Bad. (1973, 1959)

Caldonia:

Release the Pressure! Let the Boogie Do the Rest. [Lights dim and spotlights

focus on their faces as they fall to the floor of the porch.] (1976, 1979)

Steve:

Rock Me Again and Again and Again and Again and Again and Again. Make It

Funky. (1974, 1971)

Caldonia:

The Spank, Mr. Big Stuff? (1978, 1976)

Steve:

Please, Please, Please ... Gimme Some More. (1956, 1971)

Caldonia:

Finger Poppin' Time! (1972)

Steve:

I Need Help (I Can't Do It Alone). (1970)

Caldonia:

Hang Ups We Don't Need -- Keep on Bumping Before You Give Out of Gas! (1970,

1974)

Steve:

Hot Pants, I'm Coming, I'm Coming, I'm Coming! Here I Go! (1971, 1968)

Caldonia:

Let the Funk Flow ... [They collapse in a panting heap. Eventually, Caldonia

stands up and buttons her blouse. Lights come back on.] Sticky ... Cold

Sweat ... Let's Go Get Stoned. (1980, 1961, 1967, 1967)

Steve:

Sho' Nuff. Papa's Got a Brand New Bag. (1973, 1965)

Caldonia:

I've Got a Bag of My Own. Come On In This House... [she enters the house and

reappears, holding up a bag of unpopped microwave popcorn.] Butter Your

Popcorn? (1972, 1968, 1969)

Steve:

[Gets to his feet and struts into the house.] Let a Man Come In and Do the

Popcorn. (1969)

[CURTAIN]

[Harold_Z]

Thanks Jim - that's funny!

It puts me in mind of Steve Allen reciting the lyrics to "Get On The Good Foot".

[Kalo]

Brilliant!

Thanks, Jim!

[BruceH]

Ah, good old SPY Magazine...those were the days.