What's testosterone without estrogen?
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
The probelm as I see it is not that men are too tough, it's that they're too insecure. And women are too insecure too. They need to call men on that shit, not to beat them down, but to cut down the bullshit that men get away with. If a man can't handle that, can't handle being busted for being a fraud, and if a woman can't handle calling the man on his shit becasue she's too "afraid" or "put off" or wahtever, you got two weak people and nothing will change, except for the worse. It takes two to tango.
Women cut men WAY too much slack. Whining about it and playing the blame game is just another form of slack-cutting. It's easier to nag than it is to act. Can't nobody make you a victim unless you let them, at least not under normal circumstances.
Now, if a man can't deal with that, that's his loss. Any "victories" he obtains will be Pyrhhic ones. The smart guys figured this out a long time ago. The rest of them keep tilting after windmills. Between the insecure men and the weak women, you end up with a society full of people looking for an enabler rather than a mate. Pitiful, that's what that is, and the blame is equal. When you are weak, it is hard to respect anything, and respect is where hope and success lives. It takes a strong person to have and show respect, and both sexes are woefully lacking in strength these days, or so it seems to me. Opposites are meant to compliment, not destroy, each other, but it takes the strength of confidence to have the respect of that which is your complimentary opposite. And strength, TRUE strength, not illusory strength, belongs to those who choose to have it. It is not an easy choice, nor is it always anywhere near the top 100 options put before us. But somewhere along the line, it IS a choice.
We all have choices, or at least we do once we REALIZE we do. Make 'em and live with the results. If you don't like the results, make different decisions. And if you want to but can't, ask yourself why not before looking for somebody else to blame. Sure, blame can always be placed on the outside, and usually with great justification. But fixing the outside wrong and NOT fixing the part inside that is wrong is a guarantee of the same old shit happening again and again and again. This works both ways - I have as much sympathy for the insecure male who overcompensates by attempting to limit others as I do for the weak female who overcompensates by nagging and complaining and being the perpetual victim. This goes for jazz and society alike.
End of sermon.
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