Brownian Motion

Cisco Houston Cisco Kid Joseph Sisco

Cantinflas Fernandel Fabian George Bernard Shaw Bernard Shaw Bernard

Columbus Fletcher Henderson Fats Waller Performed by Fats Waller; attributed to Andy Kirk and Leon Berry Mister Christopher Columbus sailed the world without a compass When his men began a rumpus Up spoke Christopher Columbus There is land out there somewhere Until we get there We will not go wrong If we sing a swingin' song Since the world is round We'll be safe and sound 'Til our goal is found We'll just kee..eep rhythm bound! What a time at sea! No more mutiny With diplomacy Christy made history- Mister Christopher Columbus He used rhythm as his compass! Music ended all the rumpus Wise Old Christopher Columbus! These are most definitely the expurgated lyrics. Stereojack was first; ignore this post!!

Honest Abe Silent Cal Tricky Dick

Petunia Aunt Petunia Dudley

Bohuslav Martinu Josef Suk Antonin Dvorak

Jennifer Flowers Twiggy Walt Whitman

Cal Collins John Collins Tom Collins

Al Kooper C. Everett Koop Francois Couperin Gordon Cooper Alan Shepherd Sheppard Strudwick

Moaning Myrtle Bobby Timmons Ted Simmons

Freeman Dyson Mike Tyson Son of a Weizen

Emmett Hardy R. Emmett Kennedy The Boswell Sisters

Karl George Karl Marx Marcy Marxer

Roebuck Staples Big Al Sears Bill Macy Johnny Gimble John Gambling Rambling Jack Elliot

Herbie Mann Herbie Hancock Urbie Green Country Joe Phish Shad Collins

Johnny Coles Juan Cole Cole Weston

Robert Manry Tinkerbelle Sir Francis Chichester

Stu Cook Doug Clifford Tom Fogerty The Velvet Fog Kermit the Frog Waldron "Frog" Joseph

Arlen Specter Harold Arlen Arlene Francis Aileen Bernstein Thomas Wolfe Remus Lupin

Nedra Pickler Hedda Gabler Greta Garbo

Johnny Paycheck Johnny Pacheco Ferdie Pacheco Ferdinand the Bull Robert Lawson Munro Leaf

Roland Hampton Charles Mingus (ex) President Jimmy Carter A.P. Carter June Carter Cash Johnny Cash

Mark Twain Amos Trice John Forsythe David Grisman Quintet Bill Monroe Monroe Grisman

I received the following from a friend. Can't vouch for any of the information contained herein, but I can vouch for my friend. Common Cheats to Bypass Interactive Voice Response *Press 0 (or 0# or #0 or 0* or *0) repeatedly, sometimes quickly, ignoring any "invalid entry" messages. *Say "agent" or "representative" (or sometimes your favorite four letter word). *Just hold, pretending you have only a rotary phone. *Connect to sales; they always seem to answer quickly, then have them transfer you to the department you need. After spending 1/2 hour on hold with Microsoft to cancel my internet service, I called back and selected the "new service" option. I had a customer service rep within seconds! When I told the CSR what I did, he laughed and said: "Can you blame us *Call investor relations or the president's office. You can usually find this info from Google. Important. When you find a human, ask them how to connect directly the next time, and be sure to tell me <http://beach.paulenglish.com/ivr/add.cg If one of the above does not work, see the Cheat Sheet http://www.paulenglish.com/ivr/ (Throwing your phone against the wall generally does not work.) Some companies "get it"-- they realize that their customers do not like to talk with computers or stay on hold for 20 minutes. These companies realize that happy customers are loyal customers. We come back, we bring our friends, and we buy more products. Nordstrom (1-888-282-6060) is legendary for their customer service, in their fine stores, on the web, and on the phone. Southwest Airlines (1-800-435-9792) answers their phones. Do you think their head of customer support is measured just on saving money? Or do you think they realize that serving customers well will result in loyal customers. Did you know that Southwest Airlines has been more profitable than all other US airlines? Tivoli Audio (1-877-297-9479) often answers on the first ring, and they also have awesome products! Linksys technical support (1-800-326-7114) first gives info about their website and does have a menu tree, but when they connect you to the right human (often in India) who will stay with you until your problem is solved. They don't even require you to give them a serial number or customer ID number or check if your Linksys equipment is still in warranty Bravo!

Howard Cook Rockwell Kent Frans Masereel