Reminds me of a story I remember hearing from my high school days. Eddie Condon is at a cocktail party. Eddie Duchin is playing the piano. A woman comes up to Condon and says "Oh Mr. Condon, doesn't Mr. Duchin play lovely piano. Why, he makes that piano talk!" To which Condon replies 'Yes, the piano talks alright: it says get your clumsy goddamn hands off of me."