fasstrack

STILL NO URL!! They are SO bush league Still claiming a problem w/Amazon-while 2 SUPERF@!?INGVISORS at Amazon I wasted an hour on the phone with NEVER HEARD OF KICKSTARTER. Very ouch indeed. What say Jim, Peter, Valerie, Dan, etc.-and Austin-go to kickstarter's house RIGHT NOW and kick some ass! I'm in good shape and can easily hold everyone's coat... Or we could leave a bag of shit at the door, ring the bell, run away. Er, order pizza w/pepperoni for delivery to a certain kickstarter-320 Sycamose (get it?). Aahhgghh. Why didn't I listen to Mom and become an arch-criminal? C'mon, everyone: 'Only the good die youn--' Hey NESSA! You're NOT SINGING!! (;

Dan: I love it! Who said that?

Good point, imposs. I was kinda letting off steam. It was bad form writing such self-pitying vulgarity on here. I should have waited til a link was ready, posted it, stayed positive. My only excuse: stress, killing myself to survive, progress-and keep my dreams alive. I shouldn't bite the cyber-hand either, but play nice and be humble if I want to get fed. Computers do drive me nuts-but then I didn't have far to go anyway. I'll call Amazon today and fix it. Wow, my tirade reminds me of that scene in Marjorie Morningstar where Gene Kelly's character wigs out on his show's backers.

You're both right, of course. Just letting off steam. I have a great life, and pushing myself to make progress and it's causing stress I don't need. My bad. Everything's cool. I just need to relax. Thanks.

More bad news: The morons at Amazon.com are not accepting my perfectly valid debit card I use every day. Not issued from an American bank or some other nonsense. I doubt this will ever happen now, feel cursed, and kickstarter and amazon can kiss my ass. Thanks for raising and then killing my dream. I apologize to my friends on this forum for getting ahead of myself---something, alas, I've been a master of my entire life. But I hate this phony cyber-world. There are no record companies---finished. I had a dream to do it myself, looks like that's finished, too. Thank you, assholes at kickstarter and especially amazon for raising my hopes then kicking me in the fucking stomach. Way to fucking go.... I am an old-fashioned Romantic. The world I knew has died, replaced by self-absorbed morons with earbuds in their ears and facebook 'friends'. Fuck you all, you have no clue what life's about. It's human interaction. It's being in the same room with people you love. It's phone calls, where you can hear a voice, at least. Miniver Cheevey. I have one tune about him on this CD that never will be. He 'kept on drinking'. Guess I'll emulate my good friend and start. Again, sorry to have wasted your time. Maybe I can save some money somehow and make a modest solo or duo recording. I guess I wasn't made for the big time.

To quote my dear friend Tania CD:'my latest tale of woe' is after I uploaded the frickin' thing they sent me to Amazon, where the bread is collected or stored or something. They rejected my myspace page as a 'business URL'. AAARGH! Why didn't I listen to my mother and become Jack the Ripper? OK, OK, Monte Rock III... Er,Stanley Myron Handelman?

Thanks, Peter. I'm waiting on them-their 'help desk'-to get back to me. It's SO retarded: they can't launch the most important project OF MY F?&?ING LIFE w/o a likeness of my ugly mug! I work 13-hr. days w/1 weekday off-today-so I shot my load til I can get to a computer again to give my pound of flesh. Heaven forbid you could ever get a HUMAN on a PHONE in cyber-world. Kids! Where the f?!k is Kafka when you need him? But they're doing me an unbelievable solid, so... Stay tuned...

Also go to www.smallsjazzclub.comclick on audio archive, gtr. icon, my name-and 3 shows can be heard. Thanks for your support. Joel

I have been accepted by the Internet fundraising site Kickstarter.com to raise funds to FINALLY record my music! I will provide a link as soon as I get one. (They say they need a photo or something before launching the project. I don't have a working PC, so I have to finagle something) My CD will be called Calling All Romantics. It is themed on idealists crashing into real life, but getting up and on. I have written songs with lyrics and instrumentals, and we will be covering tunes on these themes, also one inspirational song co-written w\R&B vet Jimmy Norman. In addition to my core band of gtr., trombone, bass\cello, drums I will be hiring 2 great vocalists-and, I'm HOPING a very famous and seasoned altoist who likes my wusic. This is ALL contigent on raising the green. There are 2 gigs upcoming to showcase this music. I'll give dates whem they get near. My band Lo-Tech will be joined by the fabulous singer shawnn Monteiro (Jimmy Woode's daughter). You can hear my playing\writing at www.myspace.com/joelfass

No. I have one and it's my ONLY phone. I'm generally lamenting the increased atomization and illusion of togetherness in a world of increased isolation w\each successive 'advance' in technology. People lost in their little cyber-worlds no longer have time for beauty and when they hurry by often screaming on cells when I'm playing my heart out on Bleeker St. if they notice me at ALL it's a child's quizical stare at a mounted dinosaur. I make 1\3 the dough as in the 80s, wherein they had Walkmen, yet people were still connected to the social milieu. They'd stop, listen, chat, PAY. It still happens, but way less. the net is also raining hard on pro songwriters royalties-I am one-by encouraging profligate theft of ouq work. Look, I like convenience, too-but there's a limit. This is hurting not only my own pocketbook, but society.

I dunno. I have none of this stuff and it'll stay that way. From the vantage pt. of a live musician working 5 and more times harder than 30 yrs. ago to get people's attention from the earbuds they shut the world out with and those cursed gadgets they fiddle with endlessly...well, you get it. Plus why support a corporation insisting we buy something we don't need for lucre alone? Just my opinion, and-as usual a minority one, I'm sure. I know b\c a guy called me a BOLSHEVIK the other day! That's all for now, er, comrades...

And a juvenile one at that. (Goes back into temporary retirement as promised)

This is my final comment before moving on (always up for PMs): it is very, very sad how intolerant too many of the poor (jazz=poor}and self-professed progressives have become. Disunity, finger-pointing, and repulsion of those bringing viewpoints out of step with those of one's cozy clubhouse-good luck with that, gents. I'll have none of it, thanks all the same.My advice: 'fight the power'--NOT each other. The next statement from me will be made with melody, rhythm, and-especially-harmony.

Maybe since I started it I should 2nd that (e)motion. Maybe it'll go quietly in the night, as I too will for a while. I meant well with this, but feel more of a need to contribute as a musician and citizen than faux Web preacher. A wage-earner must precede all anyway. Philosophy is better on a full stomach. If I got intense it's only b\c I care. Will wish all well and godspeed in life and will catch up domn the line...

Larry: Let's hear the Vox popular on this. Or to paraphrase 2 jokes: Hey, if it dies, it dies. And our friend Leo Bloom-Wilder in the original, non-fat Producers: Let's hear the MAJORITY. The MAJOITY.....That was good enouGH for MR. IRVIING BERLIN. He knew when to close a show, including his own. But I wanna tell you, show business is my... CUE HOOK...

Maybe, but at least a composition came out of it. If someone hears something of THEMSELF in it and I've served as a g6od reporterself-indulence begets a real service. There's a happy ending of sorts. so not exactly closing time, but last call. I'll lock up and go home. Any last comments get em in now..

Well, be proud of me! A brooding ballad title and start of a new piece came out of the Phoenix of that last sentence: Don't Know why I Bother (I Just do). That's the 3rd tune to come out of taking chat rooms a little too seriously. This one is fittingly dark. So I can thank you all when done. All this faux drama led to a little release and a little beauty.

Exactly. That's why the 'furor' (Fuehrer?) over over, say, K.B.'s Jazz was such a tempest in a teapot. If that argument took place among working-class barlies, say, the regulars would scratch their heads. 'WTF are THESE crazy old fucks going on about? Left out who? WHICH 40 years?'. And finish laughing, then order another Rye. You are so right. I don't know why I bother. Just that I do...

Remember the Howling Moon strip in Ntl. Lampoon? Only ran once. A very R. Crumb-meets-Dylan sceneario: The character sets up at a street corner w\gtr. He starts singing this depressing lament. One line was 'my wife ran off with my dog'. In each panel more musicians ask to sit in. Howling: 'sure'. Violin. Bongoes. Yada yada. The song gets darker and darker. Betrayal. Mayhem. Compared to this Long Black Veil is a spiritual. The final 2 panels: the 'band' huddles. Then, 'Er, pal. We decided to to drop th' guitar' 'n vocals'...

Count your blessings. Could have been Freedom Bus. Speaking of Woody Allen. And so it was written: the Professor Irwin Corey Show took to the road...

Jazzbo: my point is we 'take it out on ourselves' via the scenic route of lashing out at others. All roads lead home, though.

Wow. Check out that Wynton-Clapton thread if you ever doubted me. Such unchecked venom toward people unmet. Think I'll go back to Phenobarbital and Von Stroheim films and start laughing again. To quote Gorillas in the Mist: 'Madamoiselles, today you make me ashamed of you. Eugene O'Neill, if you're floating around in the ether look no further than here for material...

I WISH it were the dead end for this fol de rol. Silly me, I thought England was the capital of the celebrity bitch-slap by the masses. You're big boys and girls and I ain't Moms Teresa. Knock yourselves out. I'm done.

Wow. You guys can hardly wait for the axe to fall. I'm going to write in your names next time I see openings on the Supreme Court.The ARKANSAS Supreme Court. I'd hate to read your comments re the end of MY career. That is if I had one. I'll let you know when fortunes change, that way you can have ample time to aim the poison darts. Walter Winchell, rest easy. Free-range vitriol is alive and well...

Rickles a decent straight actor. He proudly displays his Oscar in his Lake Tahoe home. The film was Ass-kissing Vulnerability. In it he recreated his well-loved 'Billy Sherbet' character. Filming slowed down when a set doctor was called after repeated headaches from eating too fast, and also when Rickles' lips froze together. Set laudry billed handsomely for overtime for removal from Mr. Rickles' shirts and pants of 'funny blue stains'. The situation was resolved when set hanger-on Monte Rock III generously made wardrobe loans, though it is unclear how Rickles looked in Chinchilla. Mr. Rickles' legendary friendship with funnyman Bob Newhart was also reportedly strained by 'Don always crapping up my bathroom after eating a gallon and charming his way in, according to sources. Rickles is now resting comfortably at the Betty Ford Clinic, where Bullets Durgham brought him for 'withdrawal from Red Dye #2'. Updates as they come in... Hey, how's THAT for free associating?