The Magnificent Goldberg Posted March 21, 2007 Report Posted March 21, 2007 If this is an urban legend, it's the absolute best! Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping , this letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible" theme. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again." And; last, but not least: December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." Yours sincerely, Charles Brown Store Manager The thing that's just slightly unconvincing is the use of American date format. MG Quote
J Larsen Posted March 21, 2007 Report Posted March 21, 2007 $100 says someone made it up, but it's still funny! Quote
andybleaden Posted March 21, 2007 Report Posted March 21, 2007 read it lots before and still laugh Quote
Claude Posted March 21, 2007 Report Posted March 21, 2007 Is that from the "Mr Bean goes shopping" episode? Quote
Jazzmoose Posted March 22, 2007 Report Posted March 22, 2007 Okay, I've done some of those things, but not all. The Madonna bit is usually followed by placing one of the funnels on my head and singing "we're off to see the wizard"... Quote
sidewinder Posted March 22, 2007 Report Posted March 22, 2007 (edited) June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. MG But doesn't everyone do that on trips to Tesco? Edited March 22, 2007 by sidewinder Quote
sidewinder Posted March 22, 2007 Report Posted March 22, 2007 Yours sincerely, Charles Brown Store Manager He of the Mosaic set? Quote
The Magnificent Goldberg Posted March 22, 2007 Author Report Posted March 22, 2007 Yours sincerely, Charles Brown Store Manager He of the Mosaic set? The American date format is a dead giveaway that it didn't happen in Tescos of Banbury. If it ever happened, it would have been in America so, yes, it could have been Charles Brown returned from the grave. MG Quote
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