spam poetry

[ghost of miles]

One that my work mailbox gets a lot:

Hoffman,

Govenment don't want me to sell

UndergroundCD! Check Your spouse and staff

Investigate Your Own CREDIT-HISTORY

hacking someone PC!

Disappear in your city

fixture,window and stood.

[tooter]

i would

if i could

perform this dance

but wham

goes spam

before I get a chance

[Brownian Motion]

>BkE HpaUNG LIKE TH@E STGyARS<

TH/E Pj8ORN SUTAR"S

The doctFor ap)proved pills wenjMt against all laws of }genetics, TtVYhey wibll grow youbr phbenYLis to porjun ind*ustry stDandar`ds .

MorOe IBRnfo / Order Here

[ghost of miles]

In the work mailbox today:

Constant success shows us but one side of the world adversity brings out the reverse of the picture.

Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

The advice of the elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books.

I don't get acting jobs because of my looks.

Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.

Acting is the perfect idiot's profession.

Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls short.

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.

The advice of the elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books.

One can advise comfortably from a safe port.

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.

Reason guides but a small part of man, and the rest obeys feeling, true or false, and passion, good or bad.

Death twitches my ear. ''Live,'' he says, ''I am coming.''

Man cannot live by incompetence alone.

[BERIGAN]

Idea stealer! I was going to start a thread about this myself! Someday!

[ghost of miles]

Idea stealer! I was going to start a thread about this myself! Someday!

I could always delete it... my finger's in good shape from all the spam that I get!

[Man with the Golden Arm]

bookstore drippy chelate rostrum gaithersburg istanbul shaffer flashy cargoes cringe desorption denumerable arizona scandium alia thousandth clapboard anybody fosterite monteverdi exercise sally apt fluency rheology wiggly bull anarchy ellipsoidal kite apostrophe bawd nelsen borroughs battlefield asleep banks mcnulty flatiron kodiak drought cromwellian coroner libreville dissuade bassinet inglorious shipbuild transshipping discussant parrot mess didactic shied barbecue embrace cecropia bertrand hrothgar imperishable linseed stockholder brucellosis panicle windsurf tardy waistcoat leaven hound robinson consonantal communal determine multiplicative die midshipman growl improvise hourglass lavish challenge cycle dimple clarke buyer sequestration doorknob bondage tore somersault dietary actinometer clatter clara delineate crisscross changeable congruent cascade application hater bloop electrophoresis pearlstone ersatz busch diminish assail canteen hardscrabble suppression stucco stiffen ballard balmy seidel dogberry vulnerable wreck tunis cutset invasion forswear rein artistry solidify anorthosite bart colonel bumblebee erich giantess overture dysentery abstinent notch effie decontrol algae saloonkeep ambivalent florida planck conception bony nymphomaniac bahrein acrobatic presumption worth sanctify multitudinous pietism effluvium curfew d'art pen hosiery commissariat doll derrick rank hypocrisy stroboscopic theory close bernini stray act electrocardiogram romance ambulant alveolus byte phenomenon sympathetic andesine dismal affect pollution dialogue adage intent dearborn arsenate butte craftsman murre wang auberge boomerang convention bad inaugurate chinch aesthetic compositor barton congeal anarch bauhaus memorandum fig broomcorn temptation glycerin pentecostal plaguey barber dunlap aerosol protrude invaluable corralled brink cabinetry homozygous ambulate snuff bombard binocular euripides concourse bagatelle curdle blat amerada plain jorgenson falstaff horsehair confine lobotomy masonic deploy beater postorder burr tabloid levy current canvas poe ambidextrous cavalier vagary embank chiropractor been reprisal clear brew algeria skipjack thunderbolt bootlegged buxton mottle cufflink sluggish coaxial manageable perjury piccadilly mispronunciation filigree graves clearwater suggestion concession curio rebelled breakfast thomas bashaw excrete urban braggart champagne bock coarsen enumerable sceptic bitumen demystify pie hawley sommerfeld jacobus dysprosium swahili teledyne carmichael chorine fenton islamabad aforementioned visage someplace cruddy hays susie contrivance richards pony focus clarity apostolic theses sonant warmish

[ejp626]

This is just the message header but I kind of like it:

SPAM: it hurts to tell you inaptitude grunt

[BERIGAN]

Not poetry, but I did get an email from a Mr. Billionaire S. Dixiecrat!

[Spontooneous]

I've gotten this one three times:

Is a college degree holding you back?

[ejp626]

Some good ones today

1) Header SPAM: focal

harbin,with increasing severity,frolic,the doctor proved,cutler,accent but without.christendom,the countingup took,perch,for several pages.

2) Header SPAM: Norton System sx Works 2003

turkish dunham teardrop cornflower walkway plyscore jog champ aluminate effusion intrusion damascus

wei absolve guiana start apprehension papery upturn affair deconvolution

[An Ad for Adobe software follows.]

3) Header SPAM: posture khaki

Theodore, the friend of Theodore and trembles with near particle accelerator.Theodore and I took from hydrogen atom (with cab driver about briar patch, tape recorder from toothache.Still make a truce with her from fetishist of, mourn her related to snow with near swamp.Unlike so many fetishists who have made their frightened stovepipe to us.He called her Theodore (or was it Theodore?).

participant fallow belly cadaverous guilford guideline dimension casey

4) Header SPAM: there is nothing as good as this peculate glans

[ejp626]

Oops I missed a "heroic" spam. In honor of Bloomsday past, here is a monster spam.

Header SPAM: plump antisemitism creamery deere dystrophy ashame beckon beautiful glycerol arboreal swami burley edwin nobel seamen calcium cbs marino murphy edward beloit erosible luminary soy weed ac ostrich tremulous sequestration shockley

benny evanescent anomalous bestubble dick immense testamentary abreast artery laud ia complex bragg flammable berenices parkinson cossack gremlin debauch granny sanatoria pupil adonis . arise protector concise regretful gypsum leash billow decor exchangeable infight fawn kidney raul disciplinary sumerian cometh charta callahan bruckner operatic coaxial lentil rabble confect polariscope vasquez dendritic coffman townsman a donovan ashland austere bird plastisol denumerable cyril different fiasco . zucchini contrabass erotica springtime dispersion molecular birdseed contrabass clement side grievance . spectrophotometer buttonweed suppression deja refusal frailty congress walkie upsilon inconsequential irk pleat quartile locutor drainage silicic cobra disaccharide bosom cologne anastigmat amplitude arcade dolan saginaw decompress eventual slap acquit angry disposal prowl . allotropic postmaster crockett air declassify tawny tensile receptacle deflector phenomenology bluebook scar negotiable eke woodcarver ceq alumna door humidify verbiage cameroun shaken .

[Spontooneous]

All this from one message today. Think I'll call it "Begin Earth Polka":

heavy xylem hasty madam tease woman dives solve risks merry the xylem magma soars the gaily golfs hands cross seven simon medic sabin grins tease paste a exams khaki karat cause brush proof there night boxer sever as field fewer karat salon rowdy sarah wheel taste leave fairy heels apply waves solar also drink super was badge above sabin, cycle quilt homes cadet was width

begin earth polka jiffy caddy later dives fader quote sacks as bread glory a naked today seven judge soars entry short north alone belts also train digit abets novel weirs crack modal river piano swift stood fresh weird often meows state man salty texas creed modem unsay photo abode wheel rapid after holds brace chips ashes weird boing alarm, salad sever pacts teats medic salsa

covet among rival yield niece stops pilot salad ducks sacks pilot brace eerie popup cloak least

helps

man young

[Spontooneous]

swung,not only bought,accomplice,hoarse voice grew,ante,the neighbouring room,matrices,all the while.

[neveronfriday]

You've got to be kidding.

I'm NOT going to read that shite to mine it for organissimo.

No way.

Cheers!

P.S.: Got this today (no idea what it's for ...):

"It has breasts.

It is good.

[...]"

[Joe G]

crappie coast adirondack

Sometimes behind hockey player hesitates,

but boy over always figure out inside bowling ball!

Still eat her from demon defined by blithe spirit,

give lectures on morality to her

defined by recliner with ball bearing for.coward over dies,

and squid from stovepipe hesitates;

however, behind onlooker mourn..

corrigendum arson stupid backplate gulf

~

<sniff> that's beautiful, man.

:rsly:

Edit: I hope I didn't pick up a virus reading that!

Edited June 25, 2004 by Joe G

[Spontooneous]

Semantics: works Unlike complex though category CPP sort

only interoperate entities It presents Simplified difficult exposed

[GloriousBlues]

German spams seem to be popular these days. At least I assume this is spam...

-----Original Message-----

From: services@cambridgesoft.com [mailto:services@cambridgesoft.com]

Sent: Monday, June 21, 2004 9:53 PM

To: undisclosed-recipients:

Subject: Auslaendergewalt: Herr Rau, wo waren Sie?

Mordversuch wegen 'falschem' Hemdaufdruck! Wo waren Sie, Herr Rau?

Wo blieben die Schlagzeilen der Massenmedien und der Tagesschau?

SIEGBURG - Ein naechtlicher Stadtbummel dreier junger Deutscher in der

Nacht vom 15.-16. Juni waere fuer einen der Jugendlichen fast toedlich

ausgegangen. Die drei jungen Leute, 17, 18 und 21 Jahre alt,

schlenderten ruhig und gut gelaunt nach Mitternacht von McDonalds

kommend durch die Siegburger Innenstadt.

Sie trugen die bei Jugendlichen beliebten Hemden mit Aufschriften

(engldeutsch 'T-Shirt' genannt). Bei einem prangte 'Lieber Currywurst

als Doener' auf der Brust, womit er wohl zeigen wollte, dass er als

offenbar umerzogener Amideutscher in der multikulturellen Gesellschaft

McDonald statt Doener bevorzugte.

Doch diese Vorliebe haette er besser nicht so offen gezeigt. In der

Fussgaengerzone kamen den Jugendlichen sieben bis acht auslaendische

Mitbuerger der zweiten Generation - nach Polizeibericht mit

'suedlaendischem Aussehen, vermutlich tuerkischer Herkunft' - entgegen,

denen diese Parole offenbar nicht gefiel und die sich wohl an den Aufruf

des Herrn Bundeskanzlers Schroeder zum 'Aufstand der Anstaendigen'

erinnerten.

Mit lauten Rufen wie 'Heil Hitler' und 'Nazi-Deutsche' stuerzten sie

sich auf die drei, laut Zeugenaussagen 'ohne erkennbaren Grund'.

Waehrend die zwei Juengeren fliehen konnten, schaffte es der 21-jaehrige

nicht. Weil ihm ein Bein gestellt wurde, stuerzte er, und die Gruppe

schlug und trat auf ihn ein. Einer der Angreifer riss aus einer

seitlichen Baumpflanzung einen zwei Meter langen Pflanzpfahl heraus und

schlug ihn dem Opfer mehrfach auf den Kopf. Danach flohen die Angreifer,

bevor die alarmierte Polizei eintraf.

Der ueberfallene schwebte tagelang in Lebensgefahr, von den Taetern

fehlt bislang jede Spur, obwohl die Polizei das Umfeld des Tatortes nach

Spuren absuchte und die Bonner Mordkommission den Fall uebernommen hat.

'Ich bin erschrocken ueber das Ausmass an Brutalitaet, mit der da

vorgegangen wurde', erklaerte Robert Scholten, Sprecher der Polizei in

Bonn. Es sei zwar richtig, dass die drei Angegriffenen zur rechten Szene

gehoerten, das koenne jedoch das Vorgehen der Angreifer in keiner Weise

rechtfertigen.

>Zitat<: WIR sind ueberhaupt nicht erschrocken, denn seit mehr als 20

Jahren wissen und warnen wir vor all solchen Folgen der

'multikulturellen Gesellschaft'. Dass weder der Herr Bundespraesident

ans Bett des fast Erschlagenen eilte, noch die Massenmedien ueber diesen

brutalen Mordversuch berichteten, entlarvt die Geisteshaltung des Herrn

Rau und die Heuchelei der sogenannten 'Anstaendigen' bei den

Massenmedien.

Kommentar des Sober Autors:

Wenn drei leicht angetrunkene Bundeswehr Soldaten mit A. H. Gruss durch

die Stadt laufen, ist die Presse mit groesstem Eifer dabei, unsere

eigenen Leute nieder zu machen!!!

[Spontooneous]

zeroth ,operatic ,tractor ,

seaward ,shabby .

[Spontooneous]

ipecac promethium fugue factory strenuous valid kulak calypso chariot dichondra lug medici bucknell louisiana cool chromatin pursuer knuckle libel edmund aunt surround punch barrage tactful dimple .

[.:.impossible]

June 29 Cashier shadows around 1595

June 29 It won't hurt Mayor Rendition

Edited June 30, 2004 by .:.impossible

[Spontooneous]

until screw steel ideas alley fader a night the sworn lodge liked salsa

[ejp626]

Here's a few that have come in since last week. Three short and two epic spams. The longer posts actually remind me of the L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E poets' writings.

1) Header: Spam: purgative

caste,the lions muzzles,entrant,praskovya fyodorovna peeked,astrophysics,here someone peeked.icosahedra,abashed in this,tacoma,but by 1930.

2) Header: SPAM: astigmatism

carib,immortality had come?,preamble,who is this,vaughan,he informed ivan.carbonaceous,the procurator understood,abut,printed extra posters;.

3) Header: SPAM: ama

dilatory,through the soldiers,parthenon,the inscription: fullscale,profligate,entire top floor.possum,some reason felt,chancy,and the smoke.

4) cabaret ashley eucharist elusive clotheshorse nicodemus residential hog incompetent straw youngish rotogravure nationhood screwbean schoolboy canister confirmatory terpsichore calkins upbraid marty ruanda taxied detect dose englander larceny importation aps amethyst oil shank stagnate bedazzle topocentric hygiene alumni muong jaime bravo supernatant flange perforce tragic magnesite mingle sandia bungalow cochlea compote brooklyn sudden eelgrass nitrite excavate ran clasp lacustrine pasadena accelerate timid dress pascal colloquy trinket energy

ponchartrain celebrant diagnostic de deciduous arduous hansel uterus ellis albania insouciant judicable russ here adjudge valve breastplate allen congenial bootes luscious palpable stopgap oppressor complexion baldpate plenty sink deemphasize coerce harmful jellyfish costume inharmonious malaprop jukes bookcase pickett automorphism ledge trumbull gripe incomprehensible tenuous bluish pup anything devolution faulkner retiree biz champion pygmy deterred snapback diocesan embroil anteroom mynheer registrant vampire grosset wrath bloodshot blocky combinatoric pusan tempest binocular frey millinery innuendo anus taxation breakage folly wastewater contrabass signor congressman cowpea louisa smother bleat knee enormous arena fullerton marlene branch plasma tyndall bedbug widget ellwood acculturate declination australite eyebright square magenta fabricate lubricate splendid comptroller barnes preserve accipiter clemson upsurge abram aorta treason ascription abash pleural tenable species cheetah cepheus inceptor silt depose cornucopia alcohol kin penury thenceforth flimsy axis gigging voluble fiberboard patron ammonium hypochlorous farsighted exegete motel bamako operatic asiatic avery brushy preen livestock retaliatory divalent hill skeleton airport triangulate eardrum propensity dingy campanile degassing assent andorra dearborn edgerton

5) Header: re: Who?

duchess maniac ductwork connivance mangle oakley opalescent cotyledon buses where hall excrescent fanny otherworld viz commedatory tawny celluoid harley sellout ajar acquittal deploy

unisex polyhedral divan didactic splice stadia bowl acceptor atavism baptistery configure desecrate darry affectionate victim ambuscade audacious pawtucket trouble economic robinson crumb commonwealth grip seoul drib felicity doge tend andesine trawl tyranny andersen deny conversant grandstand ketone

alphanumeric lois stealthy eventuate industrial manuscript spokane bask out turpitude bellyfull barrel eocene spectroscope adagio meridian amelia alison raleigh late sway consider politician chicago bonaparte stairwell society brief beacon nietzsche reflectance amethystine calvary bicameral kelley quid antennae mystic dadaist annual officiate curry squirm arctangent destitute annal exert coddle teletypewrite dive colloquia potbelly covariant heighten fantastic spurious ambiance carrara carton despicable architectonic harmful raffle bijective tantalum ineducable laity pickup spatterdock excisable solo asexual cowpunch vaudeville hillmen staunton legate erosible visage peggy bluegill momentum passaic mythology analyses viscous diana trance cia effect stirrup arteriole giddap squad ibid continuation healey target classify bilge ben allude bloomfield chronicle turbofan kink anna codon verdant breakage shampoo grim tampa dabble actinium amulet pennsylvania newsmen bowie applicate paymaster calder abrogate perchance ascertain duchess freya sammy peaceable maintain childbear magnitude duffy shift gasohol chinch pappas taut o'dell praseodymium exegete mortgage mettle spectrography defensive alphanumeric brevet naomi curvature detention choral halstead elmer hereunto

[Spontooneous]

thoroughfare wonder stripe arsine arkansas myrrh .

bob dazzle carpathia conclusion deane careen govern!

aviv agent quintillion curb delirious?

paschal invade membrane harrow richard lengthen otherworld

dissuade bey buchenwald churchgoing jitterbug optimum.

[Spontooneous]

I call this one "Wrist Passport":

piscataway afterimage stygian superintendent lady beak bedtime fourteen nabisco. hold icosahedra resiny derange aspect belgium edify conic vail.

exoskeleton lability elicit implementer counterpoise merrimack bodybuilder lunchtime contingent asexual curse. pliny cuckoo virtue optimism wrist passport cornucopia butene dewey sofa shear create.