Sensitivity Training for Organissimo

[AllenLowe]

at one time or another some of here get into personal battles and disagreements. But there is a difference between citing outrageous and obviously false things (like 'your mama' stuff) in order to put somebody down, and ridiculing things like learning disabilities.

so with that in mind, I would like to mention that Attention Deficit Disorder is a real and complicated condition - accompanied frequently by real learning disabilities. It is a bioligically-based disorder and makes life difficult, at best, and torturous, at worst. Certain kinds of accommodations that many people can and do make to the real world are, for the person with ADD, much harder to make. A personal perspective that makes complete sense to a person so-afflicted can put him at odds with the outside world in many day to day situations.

I say all this from personal experience, from a son who has Aspergers and ADD, and from looking into the mirror every morning.

just wanted to pass this on.................as I am happy to accept all and any personal attacks. But certain modes of criticism, to quote one of our erstwhile members (who applied this, correctly, to me personally) are out of line -

[Chuck Nessa]

I was hoping a message like this would arrive at some point. Thanks for the measured response.

[RDK]

I agree. In addition, while the interweb's such an anonymous place at times, I always try (though I don't always succeed) to abide by the rule of not saying anything to anyone on-line that I wouldn't say to them in person.

[Christiern]

That, RDK, is a sensible rule that we should all apply to ourselves. It is not easy to live by such a rule, however, not easy when another poster comes out of left field with vile name-calling. That happened to me several months ago, apparently only because I dared to say something negative about the so-called "Dr." Butler, whom I observed first-hand. A few years back, another out-of-control poster hurled the most vile names at me for no other reason than that I believed there were no WMDs in Iraq. Well, did I get an apology when proven correct? Of course not—that person really didn't have to apologize to me, but he never acknowledged that he had been wrong. Later, I helped him out with something. but his hostility against me lingers, albeit slightly under the surface.

All this to say that even the best intentions require a special effort in this environment of instant, often anonymous contact. Online, some of us become guilty of behavior that only liquor would bring out in an actual presence situation—so your suggestion is definitely a good, if demanding, one.

Conrad and I have our differences, but we deal with that. I could name others with whom I have had silly pixel battles that seemed destined to—and, for a while, did—escalate, but ended up taking a u-turn to sensibility.

I realize that I state the obvious when I get on the can't-we-all-get along soap box, but it beats fondling comfort beads

[Dave James]

With Allen, Chuck and Chris all commenting on this, I feel a little like George Gobel on the Tonight Show with Bob Hope and Dean Martin when he said he felt like everyone else was a tuxedo and he was a pair of brown shoes. Nonetheless, there is no room on this or any other board for either ad hominum or grossly insensitive attacks. Those who stoop to that level need to be vaporized.

Up over and out.

Edited February 15, 2009 by Dave James

[Christiern]

:tup

...and a snap!

[papsrus]

Yep. Respectful disagreement is so much more ... agreeable.

[AllenLowe]

this is a public service announcement from Gradual Dementia, USA.

$10 a month could help supply me with cable tv.

It's a terrible thing to lose your mind -

I'm not looking for a handout, just some quick cash.

But all seriousness aside, glad my post made some sense. Don't wanna sound like Sammy Maudlin -

[7/4]

this is a public service announcement from Gradual Dementia, USA.

Now that's just insensitive.

[Christiern]

I knew Sammy Maudlin, Sammy Maudlin lived up to his name—you are no Sammy Maudlin.

Nothing sammy about you.

[jazzbo]

I might have missed an incident that provoked this thread. . . but that's okay.

It's unreasonable to expect we'll all act reasonably, but more than on any other board, most of manage to do so most of the time. And anyone of us can, and have perhaps, written "internetishly" and shouldn't have.

These personal attacks even filter into discussions about opinions on music! They just can't be helped I think, but they're well-handled here in comparison to other sites. Try talking about Obama's "hope" on a Harley Davidson site! You'll see all but cyber lynchings.

It's easy to side-step many of these confrontations, just as if you look where you're going you can sidestep many cow patties. This a great community, and we can and I think we will try harder to see less of this behavior.

[Brad]

I agree with all the sentiments here and, like Allen, my son suffers from ADD and processing issues, and all the other emotional complications that brings on. It's not always easy being a parent.

[AllenLowe]

I too have been guilty on more than occasion of the "I'll tell him" syndrome, though I do think certain kinds of disability should be off limits; and though I do understand how anybody, in the heat of battle, can make this kind of misjudgment (and as I have said to myself, thank-you-non-existent-GOD for the editing function here).

the whole learning disability thing is complex and personally difficult (as I, like many others here, grew up in a time when such things were never diagnosed). I have made my own accommodations to my own learning disability, which has somewhat narrowed my ambitions but has never, however, made me give up trying. The thing about these kinds of problems is, as I said, that everything tends to look perfectly normal from your side of the fence, and you often don't realize that something is askew until you get some kind of rude and usually inadvertent awakening (like a spouse who quite honestly has trouble figuring out why you do certain things). Still, it sometimes, from a personal perspective, makes life (for better AND worse) much more interesting.

sometimes, too, when you get into something personal with someone they pick up on it, with some perception. Their mentioning of it can be very wounding. so that's what prompted my comments.

on the other hand, realizing such, it is quite possible that MY comments in various situations may have been equally insensitive (sorry, 7/4; maybe now you'll support Stem Cell Research).********

*****am I doing it again? I hope not as 7/4 and I are friends and as everyone knows it's impossible to insult your friends - right?

Edited February 15, 2009 by AllenLowe

[7/4]

We're OK, but you've got to calm the fuck down folks.

dB

[AllenLowe]

look, if you can't insult and alienate your friends, who CAN you insult and alienate?

[vajerzy]

My daughter is diagnosed- so many people say to cut the sugar out of her diet....I just smile and say I'm working on it....