Rooster_Ties Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 (edited) Some background... My wife is a *HUGE* University of Kansas fan (Jayhawks), specifically of basketball (she's a "fair-weather" fan of K.U. Football). She's a K.U. grad ('91), and she was at the university for most of Roy Williams' first four years at K.U. - and she's a "Final Four" fanatic. She's been a K.U. Basketball fan since she was a little kid, and Basketball is a fairly big thing in her family - her Dad and brother are both big fans too. Me, I've never given a hoot about sports of any kind, least of all basketball. To give you a better sense of how sports fits into my priorities - I routinely don't know who's in the Superbowl each year (until the week it happens), nor do I know who's in the World Series until that week. I once went 10 weeks into the regular football season, before I inadvertantly heard the name of the new quarterback of the Kansas City team ("The Chiefs", I think they're called ). But seriously, right now I couldn't tell you who the coach of the Chiefs was, even if my life depended on it - although I seem to remember that he used to coach in St. Louis (Cardinals) when they won the Superbowl a couple years ago - or so I heard. Anyway, I think I've demonstrated my lack of sports knowledge, and lack of interest. Last night K.U. lost the very last game in the Final Four, and my wife is more sad and upset about this about this than about anything in the entire 7+ years we've known each other. She was up until 2 or 3 in the morning last night, first listening to the sports call-in shows, then on-line, crying, the whole bit... During the game she was screaming her head-off, cussing like a sailor, although she didn't throw anything. ===== Does anyone have a spouse who is fanatical about something that you couldn't give two hoots about?? Care to share with the group how you handle it?? K.U. Basketball is a **BIG** deal to my wife, and I have to at least partially acknowledge that and at least give it some measure of respect, or else I'd have to go live somewhere else every March. But honestly, I just don't get it. I went to a small liberal arts college, where 80% of the student population couldn't give a rat's ass about any of our sporting teams. If people wanted to participate, great - more power to them. And if people were interested in going to the games, fine - it's a free country. But there wasn't much "school spirit", or at least not much in the way of athletics (we were a Division III school, with no athletic scholarships). And, I went to a small, non-traditional high-school that didn't have athletics (the whole high-school only had 25 students in it), so there wasn't any of that "team spirit" thing going on there either... I try to logically explain to my wife that having a single-elimination tournament, doesn't really tell anyone who the real "best" team is - it only increases the emotion, and the TV-ratings. You put all 64 teams back in the very same bracket, and have them all play again, starting today - and the odds of the same winner coming out on top a second time must be like 1 in 1000. I'm betting of the 64 games played, 10 or 15 of them would go the other way. And of course, it would be key games that would go the other way, up near the top (meaning the last 4 or 8 teams). If they really want to have anything even close to a fair and "real" tournament, they'd have double-elimination, and/or make each match up a best 2 out of 3 -- until the Final Four - and then make it best 3 out of 5. But the way it is now, all it does is ratchet things up, with maximum (manufactured) excitement. And it's the same thing every year around this time -- it’s "deep depression" time around our house, cuz the Jayhawks didn’t go all the way. Anybody got anything remotely similar to share about their situation?? A spouse that is deeply affected by the outcome of some periodic event that they (nor anyone else) can't possibly control -- and all you can do is ride it out???..... Edited April 8, 2003 by Rooster_Ties Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted April 8, 2003 Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 Tom, I AM that spouse! While I couldn't care less about certain sports-basketball and hockey being foremost on the list-I am deeply committed to Red Sox baseball and Florida State Seminole Football. In fact, I hate to admit it, but at one point before our wedding, I reacted to a particularly disheartening result-don't remember which but I think it was baseball-by grabbing a baseball-shaped beanbag and getting some frustration out by heaving it at the wall. I didn't do any damage, that was the whole point of the projectile I chose. But I did make the dog jump off the couch and run into the bedroom cowering in fear that she had done something wrong. Later on that night my wife made it clear that she couldn't handle these outbursts and I promised not to do it again. That turned out to be a simple matter of keeping the throw-ables out of reach. I do have a good suggestion for your wife though. When any of the following happens: Florida State loses to Miami, the Florida Gators or the National Championship game; The Yankees win the World Series or the Red Sox are eliminated I declare a Total Media Blackout. No TV, radio, Internet, etc. No highlights, no analysis, no discussion. Total Media Blackout. Then, if someone says anything about the Miami game, I say with a straight face, "Miami? What Miami game?" (On the other hand, when the sports Gods smile and the result is favorable, then we go into Total Media Saturation, or the attempt to see as many replays and reports as possible, for at least the next 36 hours.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooster_Ties Posted April 8, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2003 (edited) Maybe I should add that I'm not entirely, 100% anti-sports. I do like to go to a couple baseball games per year (Kansas City Royals), but I go never giving a hoot who wins - and I just enjoy the game, the whole scene (people watching and such), the hot dogs, and most of all - that "bag-o-peanuts" vender who throws the peanuts to you from all the way across two whole sections!!! Damn, that guy has an arm!!! It's the whole "team" mentality that I can't get all wrapped up in. I usually like the Olympics, more so (cuz they're individual sports, mostly), although I like the winter Olympics better than the summer games. (More "go fast" kinds of sports - skiing, ski-jumping, bobsledding, and such.) Still, I'm never in a "Go U.S.A." kind of mood. I like to root (a little bit) for who I like, where ever they're from - I don't care where. I guess I'm saying that I don't have a problem with kinda rooting for individual atheletes (to a degree), but this whole "our team's gotta win!!" thing just doesn't click at all for me. After all, any of those team members could just as easily gone to different schools (or in the case of Pro sports), been recruited by other teams, or traded - and then "our guy" suddenly is "their guy" in the blink of an eye. Enough babbling from me on this topic, for now. Gotta go now, or I'm gonna be late for an appointment... Edited April 8, 2003 by Rooster_Ties Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooster_Ties Posted April 9, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 Well, today my wife is still pretty much in a big funk about her team. What does it say about our society, where it's that much of a dissappointment to finish 2nd out of a field of 64 teams (not to mention the ones that didn't get in, so really it's out of maybe a couple hundred teams). It's not that my wife (or most Jayhawk fans, I gather) are dissappointed with the team, or the coach. But, rather, that the team is so dissappointed that they didn't win. (Not "mad" dissappointed, but "sad" dissapointed".) If it were me, I'd just be happy to have even finished in the top-10. And heck, the Jayhawks almost alway finish in the top-10 most years, so I still don't see what the big "heart-wrenching" deal is. Maybe it's cuz I'm not an incredibly competitive person. I think it's important to do well, but to do better than everybody else is way more than I have any energy for. Life's too short to worry about being #1 at anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 Did you tell her about the idea of adopting a Total Media Blackout? I tell you, it does wonders to lift the spirits. Seriously, some people do get their identities wrapped up in such superficial allegiances. Just as some people refer to their preferred team as "we". "We won last night." "We won the National Championship". Maybe we need Dr. Achtung or Rob to tell us about the psychological underpinnings of these attitudes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooster_Ties Posted April 9, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 (edited) Did you tell her about the idea of adopting a Total Media Blackout? With the open question about whether Roy Williams is leaving for NC, or not - there's not way she's going to do a total media blackout at this time. (I didn't even have the guts to suggest it to her.) Maybe, in a different year, without the "is the coach staying, is he leaving??", but not this year... Edited April 9, 2003 by Rooster_Ties Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzmoose Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 Rooster Ties, you really should keep up with the local teams, at least. I think the coach's name is Hank Stram. I'm a "nonsports" guy myself. I was a football nut as a kid, but the game looks positively stupid if you quit playing. Baseball held me until the strike of '94, but lost me at that time. Hockey held on a little longer (probably because they weren't spoiled rich like the others for a while, and nobody pretends that a hockey player's opinion on current events is important!), but even that went away when the Sharks went to cable. The world conspired to wean me away from sports, and I'm glad they did. What a waste of time it was for me... On the other hand, I'm luckier than you guys; my wife has zero interest in sports. When watching the local news, we just mute the sports and find something to read... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noj Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 (edited) I'm a lifelong Laker fan, but I like basketball enough to watch any NBA game on TV. I also grew up playing the game with my brothers and friends, and it really becomes fun when you begin to think the game while you play it. There is no team sport like it to me. I'm a lifelong Raider fan for football, Dodger fan for baseball, but basketball is my sport as far as team competition goes. I'm a UCLA fan for college sports, so there hasn't been much to cheer about for a bit. For individual sports, I skateboard and snowboard. There was actually a decade+ of my life that I spent skateboarding. It becomes something else after that much time--I'm at HOME on that board with wheels. Snowboarding is a similar high--unbelievably fun. :rsmile: :rsmile: Edited April 9, 2003 by Noj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzmoose Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 Hey, participating is an altogether different animal, noj! Believe it or not, at age 45, I just got a pair of inline skates. I haven't skated since I was six, so if I suddenly disappear for a few weeks, just assume I'm in traction... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzbo Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 I don't have this problem with my wife in that there is nothing vitally important of this nature that isn't shared. . . . But I do have problems understanding friends' and coworkers' obsession with sports, which I cannot imagine having. I enjoyed playing some sports, and I can understand the feeling of enjoyment in that, but watching others performing sports over and over was never something I was into, live or televised! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzmoose Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 But I do have problems understanding friends' and coworkers' obsession with sports, which I cannot imagine having. I enjoyed playing some sports, and I can understand the feeling of enjoyment in that, but watching others performing sports over and over was never something I was into, live or televised! I think it follows Vonnegut's idea of people seeking larger families, myself. If, as an example you're a Yankees fan, you have "family" almost everywhere that you have something in common with. At least you feel you do, anyway. But who knows... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Larsen Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 I'm a huge sports fan who wishes my girlfriend didn't like sports. We're equally huge fans of opposing teams in every sport. (Except that we have some common ground in the NBA.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris olivarez Posted April 10, 2003 Report Share Posted April 10, 2003 I'm a sports fan but I try to keep it in perspective and not cross the line. One thing that helps me is a comment that was made by Jerry Coleman who played ball for the Yankees, managed the Padres and was a broadcaster for San Diego. Coleman once said "it's just a game the sun will shine tomorrow" and IMO that sums it up pretty well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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