Conspiracy theories

[Hardbopjazz]

Princess Anne's dog plotted Diana's death.

Investigators conducting the new inquest into the death of Princess Diana are reportedly taking a close look at an unlikely suspect: Princess Anne's killer pooch Dotty!

London researcher Clive Mulgrow contends that the infamously vicious bull terrier -- best known for ripping Queen Elizabeth's beloved lap dog limb from limb -- is also responsible for the deaths of Diana, boyfriend Dodi Fayed and their driver. And incredibly, probers are beginning to take his theory seriously.

"That dog is a homicidal maniac -- shockingly vindictive, cunning and resourceful," says Mulgrow. "My theory is that she stowed away with Diana's luggage, somehow made it into the car, and went berserk on that fateful drive, causing the fatal wreck.

"I've seen an amateur videotape taken at the crash scene that was locked away in a Paris police vault for years. It shows a small, furry blur leaping from the wrecked car seconds after the accident. I'm convinced that was Dotty."

The pet's involvement would explain the royal-family-orchestrated cover-up that has enshrouded the case since Diana's death in 1997, the veteran crime writer maintains.

"If the truth came out, Dotty would have to be put down," he says. "Princess Anne and the royal family, who've been protecting her for years, weren't about to let that happen."

There's no question that Dotty has a less-than- even temperament. In 2002, she attacked two boys in Windsor Great Park, earning her blue-blooded mistress a stiff fine. Over the Christmas holidays, the ultraviolent beast savagely killed the Queen's corgi Pharos. While a less aristocratic canine would have been destroyed, Dotty was merely ordered to see an animal psychologist.

There's also little doubt that there was no love lost between Princess Di and the demon dog.

"Dotty would snarl in a menacing manner every time she saw Diana, and once in 1996, shortly before the divorce, Dotty lunged at her at a garden party and tried to bite her ankle," a palace insider told Mulgrow. "If Prince Charles hadn't been there to boot the dog away it would have taken a chunk out of Di."

And the feeling was mutual.

"Diana once called Dotty a 'horrid beast' and told Princess Anne she 'ought to have the bloody thing destroyed,' " the eyewitness went on. "When Dotty heard that, she gave a deep growl of raw hatred. I have no doubt she wanted Di dead."

[JSngry]

What a bitch!

[Dan Gould]

Maybe its time for a new forum, for this and Batboy's Weekly World News writeup, and other strange, weird oddities, like 30 foot reticulated python pets.

[Jazzmoose]

Yeah, this one's going to the dogs...