Tim McG

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Maria Shriver Maria Sharapova Serena Williams

Jimmy Smith Jimmy McGriff Brother Jack McDuff

My city's downtown area with the snow covered Sierra Nevada Mountains in the background:

Pete Fountain Benny Goodman Bud Freeman

Carol Burnett Carol Channing Carol Vorderman

Agreed.

Not in my world, Scott. C'mon. We are both men with a few miles on the clock, OK? Clearly, by "egging on" I mean ecouraging men in a sexual way. Women do do that and you and I both know it. Why people here play like that isn't so is more that a little bit of pretend disgust. And more than a little naive. If a woman does not wish any sexual contact or nuances of same it seems to me that it is incumbent upon her not to engage in overt [key word] practices which garner that sort of attention.I think that is straight forward enough. Fair enough. And I have told my son the very same thing. Women are thinking, feeling human beings first and foremost. They are not something to be used for your own pleasure. My apologies if I made you feel or if I assumed otherwise. You are plenty OK in my book.

Agreed. But I'm really not sure where you see a "she had it coming" POV here. I was speaking of men and women coming together in a potentially sexual encounter. How this became an indictment of my thinking or, more to the point, a means to point me out as some sort of Neanderthal without the clear sense of respect for women [coming from mjazzg, not you], quite frankly, astounds me. I presented both sides and, apparently not very well for some, clearly stated Cosby is a dirtball, that drugging a woman is always wrong, that women need to be ever diligent and not put themselves in a compromising position and at no time did I state or even suggest the man is the victim. Being honest about taking responsibility for one's own behavior isn't an advocacy for men and against women. It is a reality check. Seems to me folks here [not you] are looking for somebody to blame rather than understand this is not a black and white issue. I find that sad.

Here again, I am not at all trying to make the man appear to be a "victim" by any stretch of the imagination. But what I am saying the opposite isn't always true, either. Whether we want to admit it or not, women are sexual creatures, too. The point I am making is women in a dating situation or a one-on-one meet-up also bear some responsibility of any potential sexual contact. Read: I am not talking about rape or sexual assault here. With all due respect, mjazzg...you have misread me. One comment is not indicative of the entire body of writing. Seeing the man as the victim is not at all my thinking. This isn't scapegoating, it is the reality of male-female relationships. Unless, of course, you believe men are the pursuers and the women just wait around for the right guy to sweep them off their feet. Women have and will do plenty to attract a man. But in so doing it is more than a little disingenuous to suggest the man bears all responsibility in a mutual sexual tryst. All I am pointing out is this door swings both ways. Once again, rape is not an act of sex.It is an act of violence. And is an entirely different matter all together. My point exactly, Page. In the interest of fairness, you may want to scroll back and read all that I wrote. Exactly my point, as well.

As a public educator myself, I fully understand. We are very vulnerable to false accusations...and threats to do the same. Men, specifically. But I took risks inasmuch as I was an advocate for my female students. That alone makes you a target in America. Exactly. Well put, Jim.

Totally get that, Page. I have known several women [a couple relatives as well] who were victims of rape, spiked drinks then assaulted and those who were just plain taken advantage of by a man interested in only one thing: sex. Shame and guilt are huge emotional blocks for a woman victimized in this way. And you are right, these women do carry that violation for the rest of their lives. Sadly, I have had to be that guy trying to convince girls to come forward and bring the SOB to justice. It is not an easy thing and I sincerely hope you do not think I am making light of a horrible situation. At the same time, waiting 40 years almost guarantees that rapist will rape again and by that time, what credible witnesses would there be to make a solid case to convict the guy? In cases such as these wherein a celebrity is accused, there are multiple levels of issues, concerns and blame. Absolutely. Even as a married man I have been tempted and in several instances, shall we say, encouraged to take that leap into the "waters". I disengaged because I am a moral creature and would do nothing to hurt my wife like that. But here again, this whole notion that a sexual tryst is a one-way street is, quite frankly, ludicrous. No means no. But a woman shouldn't be egging a guy on either unless she means "business."

Totally agree. But here again, we are just supposing. When it is a "live" game-on situation, if a woman accepts an invitation to go up to your hotel room, the assumption is very real and has a very high percentage of coming to fruition. My use of the term "tacit" goes to an unspoken agreement between the two consenting adults that this situation most likely will turn sexual. What bothers me in all this [aside from Cosby using drugs] is women should understand this about the "game". If they do not or will not they are either pretty damned naive or hoping against hope nothing will happen. It would be way different if they were headed to the local Strabucks or a restaurant of some sort. No beds. No privacy. No temptation to go beyond a simple conversation. Hence my disdain for celebrity worship. They weren't going with Dr. Huxtable. They were going with Bill Cosby.

OK. Perhaps tacit is the wrong word. But let's be honest here once. If a woman agrees to go with a man alone to his hotel room you can bet the ranch and as adults this is not an asexual circumstance by any means. Certain assumptions can and will be made that lend themselves to the possibility of a sexual encounter. I seriously do not know how any man would read it differently. Or, more to the point, how or why a woman would put herself in that position unless she had an inkling that this might turn sexual. I would call that bat-shit insane. And, Jim, I feel the exact same way about my daughter.

And the Giants take...Denard Span? M'kay. We see how that one goes.

Make no mistake, Dan. I think Cosby is a complete dirtball...especially because he violated his wedding vows. That is unforgivable. I mean, can you imagine what his wife is going through? What an asshole this guy is. I am not defending the man at all. Instead, I am looking at the larger picture: What is the potential fallout for all men in a dating [or even a one night stand] relationship? I thank God I am married because I would never want to be out on the dating circuit these days. It's a friggin' minefield and, if some of the accusations stand, we better build larger prisons because we all are going to jail. Now, unless all those who hurled insults at me are celibate goody two-shoes, they have tried to get a woman naked, too. 1st date, 2nd date...one nighter....what man hasn't tried his luck with the ladies? This case has far reaching ramifications, Dan. I seriously do not want to visit my son in jail because he tried to get from 1st base to Home Plate with a date. As to fondling, that is the accusation, in part, made in the court case against him now, so it is a part of this issue. It has also been a part of earlier accusations. As to his accusers, this is why I have such a problem with celebrity worship in this country. That "looking up" to an actor/comedian because of a TV role he played is pathetic. And I am not naive enough to think hundreds of other media stars haven't done what Cosby is accused of or worse to these doe-eyed women. I have counseled many girls and young ladies to be ever diligent in relationships. To NEVER put yourself in a position where you can be compromised sexually. These women did and it cost them dearly. But here's the deal: Why wait 40+ years after the fact to finally say something? Because of their silence, other women fell victim and were summarily treated in the same manner. That is what sends red flags up in my mind, Dan. Not all of these women are legit. Knowing you are being drugged is a far different thing from willingly taking a drink from Cosby. Should he have spiked their drinks? Hell no.But here again, in the 70s spiking drinks was almost expected. You had to be very careful about what you consumed at parties because the "jungle juice" was often spiked with LSD or Quaaludes. I know for a fact this occurred and with more regularity than people want to admit. Is it wrong? Of course it is. But the drug culture of that time period was the normal way of things. I always drank canned or bottled beer or beer poured directly from the keg to protect myself. Regularly, I would pull girls aside and warn them of the potential of being drugged. I knew it was happening, we all did. Then there is the matter of making a choice. I plainly see drugging a woman as the worst possible way to have sex with her. Why you have to ask seems more than a bit odd given all I have posted here and over the years. But for me, the bottom line is the choice these women made to go alone with a married man. In my mind, that was a total screw-up on their part. Does that justify drugging drinks? No. And I think I have clearly made my case in that regard. The "consent" for sex was tacitly given when these women accompanied Cosby alone to a hotel room and before the drugs were administered or had taken effect. And lastly, we as a society need to get past the erroneous and totally distorted ideology that rape is about sex. Rape is an act of violence and control not an act of sex. I get no means no, Dan. But when are we going to stop labeling a piss poor attempt at "getting some" with assault? And if holding this opinion makes me a troll then I submit anybody with a contrarian view [Bonds was exonerated, BTW] on these boards is also a troll. Same goes with calling every sexual encounter rape. There is the the bullshit, Dan. I agree, Scott. But it also saddens me how quickly people on this BBS hurl insult and accusations before thinking it all through. Fair?

Well, looks like the Giants are still looking for a LFer. Good for your guys, Scott.

And Soul Station, I am summarily surprised at you. I thought you were an advocate for fairness, not a person who assumes the worst in people. The others I expect it from, but I thought better of you.

Or maybe, just maybe, there is much more to this than what his accusers allege? I'm not saying the man is a saint by any means. But c'mon. Be realistic. If fondling a woman's breasts on a date is now to be considered sexual assault, then no man is safe if he attempts anything more than just a kiss good-night. The drugging is a fair issue. However, in the 70s, the drug culture was the norm, not the exception. At some point we need to consider a choice was made in every case. Was it all Cosby's fault? Well, only if you think women are incapable of making rational decisions on their own. Sorry. It takes two to tango. But what we do know is all of them made a conscious choice to go with Cosby alone. We also know they chose to drink what he was offering. Am I saying Cosby is completely innocent? Not at all. But as was the case with Kobe Bryant years ago, the woman made a choice to accompany him to his hotel room. ALONE. What could possibly be the expectation....a game of Monopoly? Both Cosby and Bryant are married men. What might that suggest about a woman who would accompany them to his room alone? Just innocent flowers of humanity? Or could it be an attempt to extort money? Hopes of fame? Personal favors? There is much more to all of this than a drug induced sexual dalliance. Further, is it at all possible some of this stuff is made up? I mean, one woman claims she can't breath because of Cosby. Um...really? Is it further possible getting money or media attention is the motive? Seems to me we are WAY too quick to foist blame rather than consider all the possibilities.

Waiting to see how a "he said she said he said she said" defense can put a man in jail. If that happens, no man is safe from any casual sexual contact with a woman. On that basis, I should be spending serious time in Federal Prison.....35 years after the fact. It's no more than a case of "buyer's remorse." She went to his his house, willingly, took drugs [her choice] and got screwed.That isn't rape anymore than leering a a woman's boobs is sexual assault.

Cold and dry. Bring us more rain.

Harry Morgan Harry Truman Harry Connick, Jr.

Nice. Like the House at Pooh Corner.

But there is snow in the Sierras. That is something to celebrate!

Central Coast of California.