trane_fanatic Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 everything that could go wrong is going wrong for you and you're having a string of bad luck for months on end that you wouldn't wish on anybody? I am in one of those moods right now and it seems to get worse by the freakin' day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connoisseur series500 Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 Just ride it out... You will find that some of the bad luck springs from ill-actions or bad decisions on your part, while much of it just happens irrespective of what you may have done. You just have to ride it out. That's my two cents... :rsmile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul secor Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 Sit down and try to figure out what's gone wrong and what you can do to change that - everything isn't due to luck. Talk to friends or someone who can see things outside of your perspective. NEVER GIVE UP HOPE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AfricaBrass Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 trane_fanatic, I've been in the same boat myself this summer (no job, marriage problems, moving to a new city for the second time in four months, etc...). I've had to fight the desire to just give up, but the truth is, even in the midst of all the crap I'm going through, there are still some good things and I just have to hold on. If you can reach out to friends or family, I'd do that. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Wheel Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 Same as above posters recommended, plus lots and lots of exercise. You'd be amazed how much better you'll feel, mentally, once you get the physical thing together. This WILL get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7/4 Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 Same as above posters recommended, plus lots and lots of exercise. You'd be amazed how much better you'll feel, mentally, once you get the physical thing together. Oh yes! How true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILLYQ Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 As someone who is intimately familiar with long stretches of bum luck(much of it self-inflicted), DON'T WORRY OR DRIVE YOURSELF CRAZY ABOUT IT! It happens, but it is worthwhile to take stock of your situation and see if there are some things that maybe if done differently might yield a different result. I don't know your age, but as you get older(I'm 48), you realize that life ebbs and flows, sometimes everything goes wrong, sometimes everything goes right, and most o fthe time it's a mix of the two. Worrying about it doesn't improve it, but a clear look might. Hang in there, it will get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyDay Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 Exercise. Until you figure out what's going on with you, exercise your butt off. And if you feel too tired to exercise, do it anyway. If you are depressed, you will feel exhausted all the time. Exercise is surprisingly energizing. My doctor once told me that exercise is the poor person's anti-depressant. Hope you get better. And go see your doctor. Men don't like to go to the doctor but it's a good idea. It's not weak, or whiny, or anything. It's taking care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free For All Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 I don't know your age, but as you get older(I'm 48), you realize that life ebbs and flows, sometimes everything goes wrong, sometimes everything goes right, and most o fthe time it's a mix of the two. Worrying about it doesn't improve it, but a clear look might. Hang in there, it will get better. This is exactly what I was going to say. A definite Zen approach. Inner Game of Tennis is a great book for learning this kind of attitude, even if you're not a tennis player! For me, this attitude applies to the ups and downs of playing an instrument as well as life in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wesbed Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 (edited) How do I cope? 1. Talk to friends and family 2. Exercise - I run three times per week, if you can't run then walk 3. Jazz - buy a new jazz album 4. Booze - Beam & Coke has been my favorite of late These 'techniques' let the mind relax. When the mind is relaxed it is, for me, easier to gain perspective and clarity regarding a given situation. In the words of Jesse Jackson, 'keep hope alive.' Edited September 26, 2004 by wesbed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medjuck Posted September 26, 2004 Report Share Posted September 26, 2004 I agree with all of the above. I'd add listen to some music. I find the right Ellington can get me through the worst of days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzbo Posted September 27, 2004 Report Share Posted September 27, 2004 The advice here is good. Exercise can help. . . and it can be as simple as a long walk through the neighborhood (if you have that sort of an environment) . . . . Just getting out of your four walls and being open to different surroundings can help get your mind on a different track. There was a period of time eight years ago when I was being attacked by someone at work who had turned the best job I ever had and still now wish I had into a nightmare, my wife had come down with a serious delusion and we were separated by a thousand plus miles and even more distance really because she believed if she returned to our homes the cats and I were in danger, and I felt as if the world was crashing in on me. I made it through by a variety of methods, one was persisting being my wife's best friend persuading her to change doctors, which she did and led to a proper diagnosis and eventual mental health, a return to this town, a career with the University and a much better life for us both. Another was toughing out round after round of conflict resolution with this coworker, which led to Human Resources asking me to come to work for them because they wanted me in their team and did not at all believe the accusations (falsely) assigned to me by my attacker; that job move led me to a better career path (though I've never since enjoyed my work as much as I did at that job before the troubles began out of the blue!). And finally I became interested in the life and work of Krishnamurti and began to read what biographies of him I could find, which I found fascinating, and very helpful . . . . His nihilistic approach and his belief that one has to extricate oneself from the conditionings of the world and family to find the right path for oneself was very explanatory to many facets of my life and very strengthening. I had almost given up on my marriage and almost lost my job, and instead things gradually turned to the better on all fronts. So get some air, evaluate what is positive and fan it to a better flame, and explore some spiritual or artistic material that seems to "speak" to you. . . . My two cents! I'm hoping all improves soon, my best to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trane_fanatic Posted September 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2004 Thank you everyone for your kind words! I will write more when I get a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed S Posted September 27, 2004 Report Share Posted September 27, 2004 (edited) I'm working through some problems right now myself. It's tough. Very tough. Marital problems of the highest order, financial woes, and a litany of house and/or car maintenance issues, endless job pressures. There are lots of good suggestions above. Exercise helps a lot. I'm getting more than in the past 20 years but it's still probably not enough. I'm also trying to focus on what has brought be happiness in the past. In some case, I have found that I've had to really force myself to look to the positive side of things. I've started to listen to and get enjoyment out of jazz again, and seeking out new musical interests. I've started painting again and enjoy that creative process. I'm focusing on my job more than in the recent past and that has helped me as well. On the homefront, I'm trying to get as much joy out of my 2 boys as possible and focusing on interacting with them. I'm very much the introvert and have tried to reach out to others to form friendships as much as I can. I've begun to read some books. I also relax with a glass of wine or similar adult beverage. It's all very much hit or miss. There's good days and bad. Things will get better and in the meanwhile, focus on and try to expand the positives. Another thing, and I know it's somewhat sensitive - especially for males (and I am assuming that you are) - and that's depression. Perhaps you might consider talking to your physician or perhaps some type of counselor. There are both pharmacological and life style means to helping depression, if that is found to be contributing to your feelings right now. Exercise, by the way, is one very good life style change that can really help battle depression. To be very honest, I sought help in this area as I was begiining to have some thoughts that I'd rather not share publicly. I sought help and am glad that I did. Many males are reluctant to admit they need help so I hope you do as honest a self assessment as you can and act accordingly. Good luck and best wishes. Edited September 27, 2004 by Ed Swinnich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free For All Posted September 27, 2004 Report Share Posted September 27, 2004 Good thoughts to you too, Ed. Nice to have you around here. Hope things improve for you ASAP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
connoisseur series500 Posted September 27, 2004 Report Share Posted September 27, 2004 How do I cope? 1. Talk to friends and family 2. Exercise - I run three times per week, if you can't run then walk 3. Jazz - buy a new jazz album 4. Booze - Beam & Coke has been my favorite of late These 'techniques' let the mind relax. When the mind is relaxed it is, for me, easier to gain perspective and clarity regarding a given situation. In the words of Jesse Jackson, 'keep hope alive.' I like these suggestions. Think I'll adopt them myself... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Wheel Posted September 27, 2004 Report Share Posted September 27, 2004 While alcohol can be relaxing, I would advise staying well away from it for now--especially if you tend to be a "sad drunk." I also have serious reservations about antidepressants--I think some of them have understudied, personality-changing side effects--but I'm not a doctor. If you do visit a mental health professional, I would at least ask about options that combine therapy and medication. Sometimes just having someone you can talk to helps a hell of a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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