Baseball Steroid Thread

[Randy Twizzle]

From today's NY Post:

By BRIAN COSTELLO

CHRISTOPHER SHAYS (R-Conn.)

Says Clemens lied.

February 28, 2008 -- One of Brian McNamee's harshest critics at this month's congressional hearing now believes Roger Clemens lied when he appeared on Capitol Hill.

Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.) blasted McNamee, Clemens' accuser, during the Feb. 13 hearing held by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, calling him a "drug dealer." Yesterday he sent a letter to the Attorney General, supporting the one from the committee leaders calling for an investigation of whether Clemens perjured himself.

"You can't come to congress and lie like this and commit what I think is perjury," Shays told The Post. "He made a decision that he was going to go for broke in spite of the fact that he would have to give a lot of contradictory statements."

Shays met with Clemens in the week before the hearing for 45 minutes. He said Clemens answered his questions with a lot of conviction, but he still came away questioning his truthfulness.

"He said to me he would never take any drug that would harm his body," Shays said. "It's clear to me he took some drugs that harmed his body, and it's hard for me to accept he didn't know his wife took HGH."

During the hearing, though, Shays went on the attack on McNamee, as did many of his fellow Republicans. Shays defended his questioning yesterday by saying he thought McNamee was "sleazy," he didn't want to cover the same ground with Clemens that other members did and he didn't feel like piling on Clemens. Shays was one of the final congressmen to ask questions in the hearing.

"I felt like Clemens was on the ground and I had a sword over my head and everyone's thumbs were pointing down," Shays said. "I didn't want to do it. Then I see McNamee standing up as some kind of saint. I wanted him to deal with one member of Congress who thought he was a pretty despicable guy."

Shays, who was not in favor of the hearing beforehand, came away from it dismayed.

"It was just sad, sad day for me," he said. "I felt dirty when I was done."

[Dan Gould]

Have to say there's one weird moment in Clemens' deposition that calls into question what he knew about Canseco's drug use and when he knew it:

Q Did you ever speak with Mr. Canseco about anabolic

steroids?

A Again, not in detail. It wasn't -- you know, I

told -- not in detail. I told these guys, you know, again,

if I am around four people that smoke dope, I don't smoke

dope. So I wouldn't be in detailed conversations, nor would

I think they would bring it up. I think it was pretty

obvious that people knew that I wasn't a drug abuser of any

sorts. But in asking the question, I remember two

conversations I had with Jose when he came -- when he was in

Toronto about that. He was complaining about how his body

always hurt and this and that. And of course I am going to

assume, like everybody else, of course what I know now what

he said, but you would assume then that he had, you know,

done steroids. You can look at guys and -- like I said, if

I am facing a guy that I think is on steroids I am not

looking at him like oh, my God, this guy is on steroids and

he is going to hit the ball. I am going to make a good

quality pitch and I am getting him out. But Jose was

complaining about his body, and I think I may have said you

need to get off any of the hard stuff that you are on and

get on some supplements or whatever so --

Q I am sorry, you told him he needed to get off the

hard stuff?

A Yeah, it was not in conversation. I might have been

on a tread -- it was in general, I might have been on a

treadmill jogging, and it was -- I remember -- I know I told

him to get off the hard stuff if he was on. Again, I am

assuming that he was, because I hadn't read -- or heard this

book, and I hadn't read his book.

This is 1998 - why does Roger bring up Canseco's book that was 7 years in the future? He really has a problem with timelines when he makes up his stories. The whole thing about Deb's use of HGH being what he told Andy about - five years before it happened, and this, making reference to a book that is seven years after the conversation he's recounting.

Weird.

[Quincy]

This is 1998 - why does Roger bring up Canseco's book that was 7 years in the future? He really has a problem with timelines when he makes up his stories. The whole thing about Deb's use of HGH being what he told Andy about - five years before it happened, and this, making reference to a book that is seven years after the conversation he's recounting.

Weird.

Don't you get it Dan? He's "The Rocket." He can travel through time. See, he doesn't need pharmaceutical help, as by traveling back & forth through time he knows what the batter will swing at and makes adjustments when he returns to the present. Or wait, is it the past for him? It gets awfully confusing when you have these powers and use, er, abuse them. He really had the whole thing down for his years in Toronto, but like Homer in that episode with the toaster, he swatted one too many mosquitos going back & forth and now his sense of time is completely shot. All of those retirements, and the examples you pointed out. It's really a shame.

[Dan Gould]

This is 1998 - why does Roger bring up Canseco's book that was 7 years in the future? He really has a problem with timelines when he makes up his stories. The whole thing about Deb's use of HGH being what he told Andy about - five years before it happened, and this, making reference to a book that is seven years after the conversation he's recounting.

Weird.

Don't you get it Dan? He's "The Rocket." He can travel through time. See, he doesn't need pharmaceutical help, as by traveling back & forth through time he knows what the batter will swing at and makes adjustments when he returns to the present. Or wait, is it the past for him? It gets awfully confusing when you have these powers and use, er, abuse them. He really had the whole thing down for his years in Toronto, but like Homer in that episode with the toaster, he swatted one too many mosquitos going back & forth and now his sense of time is completely shot. All of those retirements, and the examples you pointed out. It's really a shame.

I'm convinced now that the Feds are going to go hard after Canseco as the "weak link" and the one they can leverage into 'fessing up. You've got his potentially false affidavit submitted to Congress, that gives him legal exposure. And he's right in the middle of a lot of important moments mentioned in both men's depositions. If he gave or sold steroids to Clemens, or arranged for him to get them, they are going to go hard at him to flip. I think that the two critical areas the Feds need are:

fingerprints on the material McNamee turned over - Rusty may claim 'contamination' if it were DNA/steroids together but he'd have a much harder time explaining away fingerprints on those objects

to nail down Clemens' supplier - the missing piece, and I am sure they'd feel they have a slam dunk case if they can show all the contradictory testimony, plus fingerprint/DNA evidence, plus a supplier.

One thing's for sure - Rusty seems to act as if a criminal investigation is about as inconvenient as a trip to the Dentist. But Roger is going to find out that its going to be the rectal examination of a lifetime, when the Feds get their teeth in you and don't let go.

[WorldB3]

Dave Stewart on the race issue.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?...9/SPTEVATBE.DTL

"As a black man, looking at it through my eyes, you have to understand maybe race is the reason nobody wanted to look at Roger like they looked at Barry," Stewart said when reached by phone Thursday. "In years past, when all the speculation was on Barry, I said maybe you need to look at Roger as well.

"It's unjust people were looking only at Barry. They were exactly the same. The exact same creature."

In those years, Stewart was 7-0 in games when matched with Clemens. Overall, he was 7-1 in the regular season and 2-0 in the 1990 American League Championship Series. Clemens' record against Stewart was 1-8, his only win coming in their first showdown, in 1984 when Stewart pitched for Texas.

From there, Clemens' most notable meltdown came in Game 4 of the '90 ALCS. With his Red Sox about to be swept and on the verge of another loss to Stewart, Clemens went berserk in the second inning, charged plate umpire Terry Cooney and got ejected.

Clemens let down his team at a vital moment rather than accepting defeat, and Stewart now sees Clemens caught in a similar dilemma, making life harder than necessary on himself and acting as his own worst enemy by taking his case to Congress.

"The best thing Roger could've done is shut up and let it go away, and it would've gone away," Stewart said. "People want to believe everything Roger projects himself to be, and this would've blown over. Now if they find out he did HGH and steroids, he'll never go to the Hall of Fame and he'll be proven one big liar who tried to pull a scam on everybody."

Interesting take from one of my hero's growing up. As much as I hate Roger I feel he still deserves to be in HOF with Bonds.

[Chalupa]

Judge to unseal Bonds' steroids testimony

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3271173

[Chalupa]

Unsealed documents will show Bonds had additional positive drug tests

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3271173

[Guest bluenote82]

I wouldn't care if they locked all of those baseball players up. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

[Tim McG]

Gee.

Doesn't look like the feds have much of a case against Bonds after all.

Now how about that, eh? I never saw that one coming.

Bonds transcripts are a double-edged sword

By Jonathan Littman, Yahoo! Sports Mar 1, 3:02 am EST

SAN FRANCISCO – Barry Bonds sure had his blood and urine tested a lot for a guy who said he wasn’t on the juice. But maybe his denials were equivocal enough in that grand jury room to make a perjury charge difficult to stick.

The unsealing of the 152-page grand jury transcript Friday offered up a double-edged sword. There seemed to be abundant evidence that Bonds indeed used performance-enhancing drugs, yet troublesome problems came into focus in the government’s quest to gain a conviction.

The government detailed an extraordinary list of nearly unpronounceable drugs Bonds is alleged to have taken, and it listed numerous tests that appeared to show the slugger tested positive for banned drugs. Yet the transcript does not appear to suggest that the government might have secured Bonds’ urine or blood.

The lengthy narrative of that December 4, 2003, afternoon before the grand jury was as confusing as it was illuminating, revealing a less than stellar prosecutorial team, and a surprisingly relaxed and deft Bonds, who stuck close to a script that his trusted lifelong friend and trainer Greg Anderson never would have given him banned drugs.

And if Anderson had done so, Bonds was oblivious to it. The testimony might strain credulity, but it also might be difficult to prove that it was a criminal offense.

Bonds appeared to acknowledge at one point that he may have unwittingly taken steroids – an admission that could undercut the entire perjury case. After being shown exhibits of substances Anderson allegedly gave him, the prosecutor asked again whether he took any steroids.

Bonds: “Not that I know of.”

Nedrow: “What do you mean by not that you know of?”

Bonds pointed to exhibits of two substances Anderson repeatedly administered to him, a lotion called “The Cream” and a liquid called “The Clear,” and said: “Because I have suspicions over those two items, right there.”

Bonds added that after the BALCO case broke, he started thinking to himself, “What is this stuff?”

The testimony hinted at something else that has not been revealed previously. The prosecutorial game was played differently for Bonds than for other BALCO targets.

The slugger and his attorney, Mike Rains, were ambushed that morning, even before the proceedings began. They arrived shortly after 10 a.m., at the federal building for what Rains believed was an offer to review government evidence outside the grand jury room before Bonds’ 1 p.m. testimony. The same courtesy was given to most other athletes who testified before the BALCO grand jury.

But when they arrived, Rains was told there was a change of plans. Ross Nadel, the chief of the criminal division, informed Rains and Bonds that no documents would be available ahead of time. Rains said he and Bonds were furious.

Bonds finally was ushered into the grand jury room at 1:23 p.m. How and why that three-hour gap came about may become an issue at trial. It speaks to fairness – or lack thereof – as to whether the government really was more interested in setting a perjury trap for Bonds than in getting him to tell the truth.

When the grand jury testimony began, Nadel acted as if there had been no controversy about making Bonds cool his heels for hours, as if they had just had a routine meeting in which he, another prosecutor and IRS agent Jeff Novitzky explained the immunity order that would allow Bonds to testify without risk of prosecution – unless he lied.

“Did I explain it during that session?” Nadel asked.

“Yes,” said Bonds, who added cryptically, “We’ve had our disagreements.”

But as the questioning continued, the experienced Nadel played backup to junior prosecutor Jeff Nedrow, and at trial that may prove a hindrance to the government. Nedrow admitted early on that he wasn’t very good at asking questions.

“Yes. You are confusing,” Bonds said after Nedrow seemed to admit his questions were less than clear. The slugger appeared to play to the jurors, and though the transcript doesn’t reveal their reaction, he might have won points. “I’m telling you. Is he confusing to you guys?”

Nedrow walked Bonds through an impressive array of alleged evidence. Calendars written by Anderson that purported to show codes of drug regimes taken by Bonds and other athletes. Seized drugs. Notations about alleged payments to Anderson for specific drugs. A series of urine and blood tests that appeared to show conclusively that someone named “BB” or “Barry Bond” or “Barry Bonds” tested positive for anabolic steroids and other drugs. Included among them was a previously unpublicized test Bonds took in January 2001 that found levels of testosterone so high they could not be accurately measured.

Nedrow read the test results to Bonds: “The percentage of total testosterone in unbound state, percent free testosterone, cannot be calculated since the free testosterone level is greater than the highest detectable concentration.”

But at times it was as if Nedrow was stumbling his way through a confusing chemistry lesson. Nadel periodically jumped in when his junior partner failed to make a point, but the questioning lacked coherence.

There was another problem. Bonds’ testimony appeared to undercut the value of the urine and blood tests as evidence in a possible trial.

“Did you provide the blood samples directly to Mr. Anderson?” Nedrow asked.

“Yeah, I had my own personal doctor come up to draw my blood,” Bonds said. “I only let my own personal doctor touch me. And my own personal doctor came up and drew my blood, and Greg took it to BALCO.”

“What about the urine samples?” the prosecutor asked.

“Same thing,” Bonds replied. “Come to my house, here, go.”

It wasn’t what defense attorneys would consider a failsafe chain of evidence. Steroid test results of major league players seized by the BALCO investigators – results that are in legal limbo – hold the potential of proving the guilt of Bonds and other players. But experts doubt that any urine samples remain from the tests discussed during Bonds’ grand jury testimony, and the apparent absence of proper lab procedures in taking and transporting samples may dampen their value at trial.

Yet Bonds had no good answer for the numerous tests conducted for BALCO, such as one in November 2001 in which “Patient Bonds, Barry” with the identical birth date as the slugger was tested for testosterone by LabOne. Nor did he have a good answer for why an affidavit was later filed saying that, “the specimen for Greg Anderson was mislabeled as ‘Barry B.’ ”

But if Anderson was trying to cover for Bonds, the government might have difficulty proving it.

Nedrow: “Did Mr. Anderson routinely put your samples in his name to avoid having your name linked with the samples? Do you know that?”

Bonds: “No, I have no – no. I wouldn’t think he would do something that dumb.”

As the proceeding unfolded, there was the sense that the government was overwhelmed by the complexity of the case, the vast variety of drugs involved, the volume of dates and tests. It was as if the prosecutors were trying a four-week case in one afternoon.

Bonds may not have done himself any favors in the closing minutes. He seemed to forget his previous qualified statements, his suspicions, his careful, “Not that I know of.” He repeatedly denied ever taking steroids.

And then at 4:16 p.m., three hours after he first entered the grand jury room, Bonds concluded with a little story about how BALCO never charged him any money and was kind to his dying father.

Nedrow cut him off.

“OK. All right. You’re excused, Mr. Bonds. Thank you very much. You’re free to go.”

__________________

Edited March 2, 2008 by GoodSpeak

[Soulstation1]

this one is funny cuz it has the rock doing the nature boy's strut

[Dan Gould]

Interesting article in today's Times. Seems that the Feds are investigating Clemens' connection to the owner of a weight-loss center who A] has been identified with HGH sales and B] has claimed in the past to be a close friend of Clemens but now denies it. Rusty Hardin calls the question about any relationship "despicable" which is a pretty surprising word choice. I mean, the owner of the fitness center has never been arrested, he's a member of a prominent family in Houston, what's despicable about asking about a relationship? Seems to me Rusty doth protest too much, so the Feds are probably on the right track.

Clemens Investigators Look at Houston Clinic

By KATIE THOMAS, MICHAEL S. SCHIMIDT, THAYER EVANS and DUFF WILSON

Published: March 7, 2008

HOUSTON — Internal Revenue Service agents have contacted a former employee of a fitness center here as part of an effort to determine whether Roger Clemens obtained steroids or human growth hormone in the Houston area, where he lives, the former employee said.

Clemens is being investigated for perjury after telling Congress under oath in February that he had never used performance-enhancing drugs, statements that conflict with those of his former personal trainer, Brian McNamee, who said he injected Clemens numerous times from 1998 to 2001.

The former employee, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said in an interview Wednesday that the federal agents asked about the operation of Shaun Kelley Weight Control, as well as whether Clemens knew the center’s owner, Shaun K. Kelley.

Two lawyers familiar with the government investigation of Clemens’s statements to Congress said I.R.S. agents, including Special Agent Jeff Novitzky, are scrutinizing Kelley but have not yet interviewed him, nor ruled out other possibilities for the Clemens case. The lawyers were granted anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly on the matter.

The fact that the agents contacted the former employee confirms that they have turned their attention toward Houston.

Novitzky, who has spent the past five and a half years investigating the distribution of performance-enhancing drugs in professional sports, maintains a lead role in the perjury investigation, the lawyers said, and is interested in questioning a number of people in Houston, including Kelley.

Kelley described Clemens as “an acquaintance,” and at first said he had met him only once, but later said he met him “a couple” of times.

Kelley denied in several interviews that he was involved with performance-enhancing drugs. But he has advertised human growth hormone on his Web site, and in 2005, his e-mail address appeared in an online inquiry about purchasing the hormone from a Chinese company.

He has also referred several clients to a Houston psychiatrist, Dr. Lisa C. Routh, including at least one person who was then prescribed steroids. In an interview, Routh said she had never met Clemens and never prescribed him any drugs.

Kelley’s center is located in an upscale shopping center in the Memorial area that offers memberships at $15,000 a year. His muscular physique is featured on billboards throughout the city and in advertisements in local magazines. Until recently, he was the host of a fitness show on a local radio station.

Kelley, 46, is from a well-known family. His parents served on Houston’s city council in the 1990s, his brother Shannon Kelley is a former University of Texas quarterback, and the former Olympic gymnast Mary Lou Retton is his sister-in-law.

Clemens visited Kelley’s center in the past few years, according to the former employee who spoke to I.R.S. agents. Clemens arrived at the center, explained that he was a friend of Kelley and waited while Kelley finished speaking to a client. Clemens then entered Kelley’s office and stayed for about 20 minutes, the former employee said.

Kelley said: “I have never seen Clemens in my store, ever. This is all totally false.”

The relationship between Kelley and Clemens is not clear. Three other former employees of the center, as well as Routh, said Kelley had boasted of a friendship with Clemens, although they noted he had a penchant for exaggerating.

Shaun Eckhardt, who worked for Kelley as a trainer for six months before quitting recently, said Kelley, in speaking of Clemens, “would always say they were good friends.” Other former employees who confirmed that Kelley often brought up Clemens’s name included Graham Burket, who worked as Kelley’s general manager for about three months, and Damon Lenahan, a nutritionist who worked for Kelley for about three months last year.

Clemens lives about three miles from the fitness center.

Clemens’s lawyer, Rusty Hardin, said he would not ask Clemens about any connection to Kelley. He said he found the question about any possible relationship “despicable.” Hardin told reporters, “You are on a witch hunt.”

In 2002, Kelley’s Web site advertised the sale of H.G.H. On a page advertising the sale of supplements, the site said Kelley’s company sold antiaging, weight-gain and weight-loss products, as well as “growth hormone.” Kelley said he did not actually sell H.G.H. but referred clients to doctors who would prescribe it.

In 2005, Kelley’s e-mail address appeared in an inquiry about buying the substance from a Chinese pharmaceutical company. “Dear Mr. Gao,” read the inquiry. “Please explain in detail; How many I.U.s does each box contain? How much is 5, 10, 100 boxes of HGH? Thank you and God bless! Sincerely, Shaun kelley M.D.”

Kelley said he might have looked up information about the drug online, but that he never purchased it. And it was possible, he said, that someone logged on using his e-mail. “There are a lot of people that came to my gym and used my computer at my old store,” he said.

In at least one case last year, Kelley referred a client to Routh before the client even started working out at the gym, the client said. After a blood test, Routh wrote a prescription for testosterone, a thyroid medication, and an anabolic steroid during his first consultation with her, the client said. He said he also discussed human growth hormone with Routh, but that he decided it was too expensive.

After he received the drugs, the man sent Kelley an e-mail message and Kelley wrote him back, telling him to come to the office so Kelley could give him advice about how to take them. The man, who showed the e-mail messages to The New York Times, spoke on condition of anonymity because he did not want to be identified as using performance-enhancing drugs.

Routh was a regular guest on Kelley’s recently canceled radio show, and she has prescribed testosterone and growth hormone to about 20 of Kelley’s clients, she and Kelley said in interviews.

Routh said Kelley would send her clients who were having trouble meeting their weight-loss goals.

“When you hit a wall and you’re 20 pounds away, you have to say, is there something physiological going on? Is there something medical?” she said.

Kelley said there was nothing wrong with referring clients to Routh. “She doesn’t see athlete-type people, only people — just older people that are trying to increase their quality of life,” he said.

“It’s totally legal; all I do is recommend people.”

Kelley acknowledged that he had taken H.G.H. “I did have human-growth-hormone deficiency and I qualified to have it,” he said. “I haven’t done that in years.”

So, is the guy just a hustler who likes to make people think that Clemens is a friend? Or was he one of Roger's HGH suppliers? You can bet that the Feds will now pressure Routh and Kelley with threats of prosecution for steroid/HGH distribution. The dominoes may be falling ...

[Dan Gould]

Here is a very entertaining profile of Jose Canseco:

http://deadspin.com/372409/chasing-jose-by-pat-jordan

Searching For Canseco

Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan

searchingforcanseco.jpgPat Jordan is the author of 13 books, including "A False Spring," hailed by Time as "one of the best and truest books about baseball, and about coming to maturity in America." A prolific freelance journalist for 40 years, Jordan was recently dubbed "a national treasure" by Booklist in a starred review of a collection of his finest work, "The Best Sports Writing of Pat Jordan," (Persea Books), which includes definitive profiles of O.J. Simpson, Roger Clemens and Sylvester Stallone, along with Jordan's most controversial stories, on Steve and Cyndi Garvey and Hall of Fame pitcher, Steve Carlton. "The Best Sports Writing of Pat Jordan" will be released on April 14. He writes today for Deadspin about his repeated attempts to interview Jose Canseco for the last three months.

I have been pursuing Jose, like the Holy Grail, for three months now, trying to nail him down for a magazine profile he'd agreed to do in January, partly because, as his lawyer/agent had told me, "Jose's on the balls on his ass," and partly because Jose was trying to interest a publisher in his second steroids-tell-all book, which existed only as a two page proposal of typos that had yet to interest any publisher. This second book would be titled "Vindicated," and it would "encompass approximately 300 pages and will require six months to complete."

My pursuit of Jose began in January when I called him in California. His girlfriend, Heidi, answered the phone. I told her that I was writing a magazine story about Jose writing a book. "And a movie," she said. "Jose is writing a book and a movie about himself." I said, "You mean a screenplay?" She paused a beat, then said, "No, a movie." I said, "Of course."

I tried to picture Jose writing his book and his movie. Hunched over, his broad shoulders casting a shadow across his desk like a raptor's wings, his brow furrowed in concentration, his massively muscled body tensed in anticipation of that torrent of words about to flow out of him like urine for one of the many steroid tests he'd been forced to take during his baseball career. I wondered, just how does Jose write? Like Shakespeare, with a quill pen on parchment? Like Dickens, wearing a green eye shade while seated at a clerk's desk? Like Hemingway, standing at a lectern in Finca Vigia, with a stubby pencil and unlined paper? Like Thomas Wolfe, in his Victorian house in Ashville, pounding away on a tall, black, manual Underwood? Or maybe the words flow out of Jose in such a torrent, 10,000 an hour, that he can relieve himself adequately of his thoughts only by tap-tap-tapping on a lightning fast computer, like Stephen King?

Anyway, as Heidi said, Jose is writing a book, and a movie, about his life, which he will star in, as himself. Jose is also going to star in a Kung Fu martial arts movie. That's what Rob told me. "Jose is fielding offers," said Rob. Rob is Jose's lawyer and agent. He's a Cherokee Indian from North Carolina. In the four years that Rob has been Jose's agent, Jose has racked up about a half-a-million dollars in legal fees. Rob hasn't been paid anything yet, although he said that Jose did give him his five World Series rings, worth about $50,000, as a down payment.

Heidi, Rob told me, is Jose's girlfriend/publicist. She's a "cute, little, junior college graduate, who lives with Jose," said Rob. "She likes to let Jose think she's working hard for him when really all she is doing is fucking things up for him." Rob said Heidi lives with Jose without paying anything, which may be literally true, but not figuratively. The price women pay for living with Jose is actually quite high. All those boring days and nights during which Jose rarely speaks, except to say, "Where's the Iguana?" because of Jose's fervent belief that when "women talk only bad things can happen." All those needles and vials of performance enhancing drugs around the house which his woman of the moment must learn to differentiate, winstrol from deca-durabolin from HGH, and then draw the proper amount of fluid into each syringe and inject that needle and its fluid into Jose's buttocks. All those variations of his moods from steroid-fueled anger to steroid-withdrawal depression. All those startling changes in his genitalia, his penis swelling with steroid use at the same time his testicles are shrinking from steroid use. All those strange women's messages on Jose's cell phone. All those trips to the gynecologist to cure the STDs Jose brought back with him from one of his road trips. And, finally, most depressing of all, all those perfunctory sex acts with Jose, doggy style in front of a mirror so Jose can watch himself perform, his chest muscles and biceps twitching as he works. Which is why Jose's first two wives, Miss Miami, and Miss Fitness America, divorced him.

josejordan1.jpgAfter a little prodding, Rob did admit to me that as of the moment no actual offers for that Kung Fu movie have come Jose's way, which, considering his fielding prowess (he once camped under a fly ball which hit him in the head and bounced into the bleachers for a home run), might be a good thing. Still, Jose spends his days at his house in Sherman Oaks, California, off the Ventura Freeway near the San Fernando Valley, home of the porn industry, waiting for producers to call to inform him that the time is ripe, America is now hungry for a Kung Fu movie starring a steroid-inflated, Cuban, ex-baseball player in his forties. In anticipation of that call, Jose showed off his martial arts moves to the man who choreographed "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." The man watched Jose's 250-pound body spin and kick and leap into the air for a few minutes and then he told Jose that his moves "were stiff, not very fluid, and you don't kick very well." Jose told Rob, "That guy doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about."

Jose always knows best. He's the master of everything he undertakes and he can point as proof to his baseball success, 462 home runs in 17 years, based on a simple philosophy, "see ball, hit ball." Jose has carried over this philosophy into everything in his life. "See girl, fuck girl." "See Ferrari, buy Ferrari." "See money, take money." Admittedly, Jose's philosophy of life has brought him some success with girls and fancy cars, but it has not, of late, brought him much success with money. Rob said, "Right now, Jose has zero money." In fact, Rob has a lien on one of Jose's two houses, and "Whenever Jose pisses me off, I threaten to foreclose."

Rob has yet to foreclose because he has the stoic patience of his ancestors who made that terrible trek from North Carolina to Oklahoma, which was called "The Trail of Tears." But that doesn't mean that Jose hasn't "pissed off" Rob a lot over the last four years that he has been Jose's lawyer. When Rob was defending Jose and his twin brother Ozzie a few years ago in a civil suit brought against the two brothers by a man they had beat up in a Miami bar, he told Jose to keep a low profile and not buy anything because Rob planned on pointing out to the court that Jose was broke. A week before the trail began, Jose leased a $300,000 Rolls Royce and bought a $2.6 million house, in addition to the $1.7 million house he already owned in Encino. "I had to admit in court that all those things Jose owned," said Rob. The jury returned a verdict that required Jose to pay the man he and Ozzie beat up 90 percent of $1.5 million. Ozzie, who is also broke, had to pay the other ten percent. "Jose still hasn't paid a cent," said Rob.

After the trial, Jose put his $2.6 million house in South Florida up for sale. He had several offers on it, but decided to take the offer of over $2 million in Mexican telephone stock, which he was prohibited from selling for two years, at which time, the buyer guaranteed him, the stock would be worth $5 million. Two years later, Jose sold the stock for $15,000.

Over the last few years, Rob has negotiated prospective deals for Jose worth almost $2 million. Rob got Taco Bell to ante up $25,000, plus residuals, for Jose to star in a TV commercial in which Jose would hold up a huge burrito and say, "This thing's gotta be on something." Jose demanded $50,000 instead and Taco Bell walked. Rob also got Jose an offer of $100,000 from GoldenPalace.com, which would require Jose simply to wear that company's t-shirt and cap whenever he was on TV. Jose demanded $200,000 and Golden Palace walked. Then, Rob got Jose an offer of $75,000 from a reality TV show that wanted to film Jose in a wheelchair for thirty days. Jose demanded more, and the TV show vanished. Finally, Rob got Jose an offer of $500,000 for a movie based on his life, but Jose demanded $1.5 million and the offer vanished.

"I told him, 'You're not Bill Clinton, Jose!'" said Rob. Jose, it seems, learned about money from the many strippers he has dated. Most strippers don't put their faith much in the promise of future riches. Their only reality is the cash in their hands. "I explained to Jose," said Rob, "that if he did all these things he'd get other things out of them. But Jose doesn't see it that way. He wants it all right now. I just can't get him to do what's best for him." One of the things Rob thought would be best for Jose was to let me write a profile of him for a national magazine which would help him sell his book, and the movie about his life, neither of which had been sold yet. (Even the ever-optimistic Rob didn't hold out much hope for the Kung Fu movie.) When I agreed to write the profile, and found a magazine that would publish it, Rob told me to call Heidi to work out the details of my trip to Sherman Oaks. "I cleared it with Jose," said Rob. So I called Heidi.

"What interview?" Heidi said. I told her. She said, "Jose's too busy now, he's writing a book, and a movie, about his life." I called Rob. He called Heidi. Then he called me to tell me that he'd "straightened Heidi out." So I called Heidi. She said, "Will it be a cover story?" No. "Then Jose's not interested. He's too busy writing a book, and a movie, about his life." I called Rob. I told him Heidi was not quite "straightened out." He called her. Then I called her. She said, "Will you pay Jose?" No. She said, "Then Jose's not interested. He's too busy writing his..." I said, "I know," and hung up.

During the marathon of my negotiations with Heidi, the Mitchell Report was published. Jose's name figured in the report based on the allegations he had made about steroid use he'd instigated with some of his teammates in his first book, "Juiced." In fact, Jose tried to crash the press conference when Mitchell announced the findings of his report. He was intercepted by security and escorted from the hearings because he didn't have press credentials. But now that Jose was experiencing the last five minutes of his fame before he retired to the anonymity of his future job as an official greeter at a San Fernando Valley Gentleman's Club, a book publisher surfaced like the Loch Ness Monster, and offered to publish Jose's as-yet-written second book, "Vindicated," if it included new revelations about baseball's steroid users. There were coy hints from Jose that he would mention such names as Roger Clemens and Alex Rodriguez. The publisher agreed to shell out $250,000 for such a tome if it could be written in ten days so it could be published in April, on baseball's opening day. Rob called and asked me if I wanted to write that 70,000 word tome in ten days. I said, "You said it would take six months in the proposal." Rob said, "Ten days." I said, "Rob, I can't write 2,000 words in ten days. I'm not a fucking typist!" Besides, I added, I was still committed to the magazine profile. Rob said, "Call Heidi." I called Heidi. (By now my wife had begun to be suspicious about my whispered telephone conversations with this mysterious Heidi. "Who is this broad?" she said. I shrugged.) Heidi answered the phone. She said, "Jose can't do the interview now because his book publisher doesn't want him to reveal anything that will be in his book." Click. Buzz.

Apparently, there wasn't as much new dirt in Jose's second book as he had promised. Not a day after the press reported that he had signed a contract to write a second book, Jose's ghost writer, a former Sports Illustrated writer, informed the press that he was withdrawing from the project because, after he had reviewed Jose's material, he'd decided that Jose couldn't produce the goods on A Rod's supposed drug use. Jose's publisher then dropped his book and Rob scurried around to do damage control. He claimed that Jose had cancelled the deal with his publisher because he had got a better offer from another publisher that no one in Jose's camp would identify. Then, a third ghost writer (if you can count me as the first) was impressed into Jose's service on the strength of his impeccable writing credentials—a stint at the National Inquirer, and the authorship of O.J. Simpson's sterling effort, "If I Did It," in which Simpson described how he would have killed his wife, Nicole, and Ron Goldman, if he had actually killed them, which he hadn't. "Vindication" was begun, and just as quickly finished, 70,000 words in ten days (I am in awe!), and will be published April 1 by that phantom book publisher, which, it would later be revealed, was to be Simon and Schuster.

Jose was paid $100,000 for "Juiced," which sold about 200,000 copies. He has received about $850,000 in royalties so far, but he claims he is owed $1.4 million. The book was a best-seller despite the fact that many people questioned the veracity of Jose's claim about rampant steroid use in baseball for a number of reasons, not the least of which was Jose's unsavory reputation as a wife-beater (Miss Fitness America), a baseball slacker (his teammates accused him of not hustling), a gun-toting, sports car-speeding, steroid-crazed solipsist who cared nothing about anyone else on earth, except himself. He had a reputation for not showing up at benefits for children, and card shows as he'd promised. In fact, Rob said that one of the reasons why he had so much difficulty selling Jose's second book was because "he never showed up for interviews" for his first book. "I had to go get him out of bed for interviews." Jose even managed to turn his penchant for refusing to get out of bed into a money-making scheme when he was sentenced to house arrest after a steroid-use conviction. He simply offered his fans a chance to spend the day with him, hanging out at his house in South Florida, for $2,500, while Jose slept.

josejordan2.jpgIt is no wonder then, that Jose's steroid revelations were met with a jaundiced eye, despite the fact that those revelations were essentially proven true. Still, the L.A. Times was not impressed, calling "Juiced," "The worst book in three centuries," which may, or may not, have been an exaggeration, but which prompted me to buy a copy of "Juiced" and, with much trepidation, dip my toes into its fetid waters.

In "Juiced," Jose dismisses his baseball achievements and the $45 million he made, and writes, instead, about those subjects that warmed his heart: fast cars and loose women. He lists all the fancy cars he owned and raced dangerously on public roads, and all the many women he bedded (baseball players are constitutionally unable to be faithful to wives and girlfriends, he claimed), which, curiously, did not seem to give him much pleasure. These women he referred to, decorously, as "road beef" and "slump-busters," if they were outrageously homely, and "imports," if they were classy enough like Miss Fitness America, to import to the city where he was employed. Jose even talked about his relationship with Madonna, with whom he once had a flirtation that did not go much beyond the teenaged make-out stage because he found her so unattractive. (Jose is ever the gentleman.)

Jose's most explosive revelation in the book concerned his teammate with the Oakland A's, Mark McGwire. They were called "the Bash Brothers" because of all the home runs they hit for the A's in the eighties. Jose claimed that he convinced Mark to take steroids after his rookie year, and that often in the clubhouse he and McGwire would retire to a stall in the bathroom where they would each drop their drawers, bend over, while the other injected him with steroids. In fact, Jose and Mark seemed to spend more time in clubhouse bathrooms, bent over, exposing their buttocks, than Congressman Larry Craig did in the Minneapolis Airport restroom.

After I finished "Juiced," and thoroughly washed my hands, I learned from Rob that Jose's second wife, Miss Fitness America, had written her own book about her life with Jose, after they were divorced. It was called, "Juicy," and, curiously, it was published by the same publisher that had published "Juiced," Regan Books. "Jose negotiated the deal for his ex-wife's book with Judith Regan," said Rob, "so he could pay for the child support he owed her for their daughter." After Jose got his ex-wife her book contract, he told her, "Go ahead, knock yourself out." And she did.

Although "Juicy" is every bit as depressing as "Juiced," it does have one literary quality "Juiced" never aspired to. "Juicy" is a very funny book, although I'm not so sure that Miss Fitness America, a breast-implanted young woman named Jessica, as in Rabbit, intended it to be.

In "Juicy," Jessica describes herself as a failed Hooter's waitress whose claim to fame, before she became Jose's "road beef," was that she almost gave Lars Ulrich of the band Metallica a blow job, to which news her sister replied, "so cool!" Jessica wrote that she always wanted to be a dancer (she did not specify, with pole or without) but knew that dream was beyond her because she was too lazy. So she re-channeled her ambition toward being a veterinarian, but abandoned that dream before she even embarked on it because she had Attention Deficit Disorder. (Unlike Jose, at least Jessica was self-aware.) Then she met Jose. It was a "meet cute" at Hooters, and a match made in the heavens of such matches.

At first, Jessica loved being Jose's "road beef" and then his "import," because he spent a lot of time buying her clothes she couldn't afford on her Hooters salary. Then they set up housekeeping at Jose's Coral Gables mansion with its rock waterfall pool and its cougars and giant Iguanas roaming the grounds and, sadly, Jessica discovering that living her life with Jose was "a total fucking bore." Her daily calendar of their activities reads something like this: sleep, wake, fuck, eat, lay by the pool, find Iguana, eat, fuck, shop, watch TV, fuck, sleep (for Jose, anyway), and masturbate, all, of course, without Jose ever speaking. This last activity on Jessica's daily to-do list, she was forced to resort to because Jose's sexual performance left a lot to be desired, at least, by Jessica. The way it worked was, Jose had sex with Jessica in front of a mirror until he had an orgasm, then spilled off her and went to sleep. While her big Lug snoozed, Jessica slipped out of bed and repaired to the bathroom where she made love to herself. Jessica claimed she didn't have an orgasm with Jose during their first two years of sex. She wrote, "If he noticed, he didn't care." So, she began faking orgasms, "but I can't honestly say he noticed that either."

When I finished reading "Juicy," I had only one thought: How do such people, so perfectly right for each other, meet? Craig's List? Divine Intervention? A database reeking of fire and brimstone? It astounded me that Jessica and Jose ever even got divorced. Probably, they did, because, as Jessica wrote, when Jose was no longer rich and famous after he left baseball she found him less interesting, damning herself in the process by admitting that at one time she had actually found such a man interesting.

Today, Jose is not only less interesting, but also broke. Which is why his second tome, "Vindicated," is so important to him. It is his last chance in life to forestall, for a few more years anyway, that looming downward spiral of his life when he will be forced to confront his future as an official greeter at that San Fernando Valley Strip Club. Rob, ever Jose's Sancho Panza, and ever-conflicted, said, "I want to put Jose on a path to enjoy the fruits of his athletic labors. He's genuinely a nice guy. I desperately want to help him. Still, he is my most frustrating client." Most frustrating, and, most frustrated, for now, after years of steroid abuse, Jose has been confronted with one more unpleasant fact of his life (all those bills that eventually come due). Jose's own testosterone level is now so low that, in order to maintain erections, he must now take testosterone, irony of all ironies, legally, under a doctor's supervision. I wonder if he'll write about that in "Vindicated."

cansecopitching2.jpgRob said that like all men Jose has changed over the years, learning, I presumed, that an unexamined life is not worth living. Rob said, "Yeah, Jose has evolved. But it hasn't been a positive evolution. He's still as opportunistic and self-absorbed as ever. Only now, he's even more desperate." So desperate, in fact, that before Jose sold his second book to Simon and Schuster, he, or one of his emissaries, tried to extort money from Detroit Tigers outfielder, Magglio Ordonez, by promising not to mention in "Vindicated" that Ordonez was a steroid abuser, if Ordonez invested $5 million in one of Jose's movies (Jose didn't specify which movie, his autobiography or his Kung Fu extravaganza.)

"Jose is one step from homeless," Rob told me in early March. It seems that Simon and Schuster is holding up Jose's book advance until he performs his required book tour, S&S having learned a lesson from the publisher of Jose's previous book, which set up interviews and book signings that Jose blew off.

In mid-March, Rob called to tell me that my interview with Jose was back on.

I said, "Why?" The interview couldn't be published now until early June, two months after "Vindicated" would be published. Rob said, yes, but that June story would give the book a secondary bounce after the initial flurry of publicity died down. Rob was worried that after the names of the steroid abusers were culled from "Vindicated," the book would die a quick death in maybe two weeks. That's where I came in.

"Call Jose," Rob said. "He's expecting your call." So, I called Jose. Mercifully, he answered the phone, and not the inscrutable Heidi. In a surprisingly mute voice, Jose agreed to an interview at his house in Sherman Oaks on the following Saturday. Before I left for California I insisted Rob give me Jose's address in case Jose failed to meet me at my hotel, as he'd agreed to. Rob also gave me his original two-page proposal for "Vindicated." In it, I was shocked to learn, there was no mention of the new names of drug abusers Jose would mention in "Vindicated," except as an afterthought in the last line of the proposal. It seems that the Mitchell Report and its attendant publicity had jogged Jose's memory of the many PED abusers he'd left out of "Juiced."

When I got to my hotel in Sherman Oaks on Saturday afternoon, I called Jose. Heidi answered the phone. "What interview?" she said. "Jose is too busy writing..." I called Rob. He called Jose, then he called me back. "He's busy tonight, but he'll pick you up in front of your hotel at noon Sunday and take you to his house."

I woke at 7 a.m. on Sunday and drove out to Jose's house on my own, just to prepare myself for the eventuality that Jose would not show up at my hotel. And if he didn't, what would I do? Break down his front door? Jesus, Jose was making me as crazed as he was.

Anyway, Jose was renting a nondescript house in a neighborhood of faux, vaguely Mediterranean houses that looked out over a dry water viaduct, littered with detritus, and beyond that the Ventura Freeway. There was a "For Sale" sign on the front lawn, and a black BMW in the driveway. Through the house's many windows I could see nothing on the walls. No prints or photographs or mirrors. It was the kind of rented house that people use as a way station, before they move on to a bigger house, or to living in their car underneath the Ventura Freeway. I went back to the hotel and waited for Jose to pick me up at noon.

At 10 a.m., L.A. time, Rob called to tell me the interview was off. Jose had changed his mind yet again. I was apoplectic. Rob tried to calm me down with these reassuring words, "Pat," he said, "why are you so upset? You and I both know Jose's a piece of shit."

[Chalupa]

Victor Conte to write tell all book

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?...e=ESPNHeadlines

[Dan Gould]

Victor Conte to write tell all book

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?...e=ESPNHeadlines

The problem is that Victor Conte is such a hustler and con artist there isn't a reason on Earth to believe it will include the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The man has, at best, only a tenuous and self-serving interest in "the truth".

[T.D.]

Cyclist Tammy Thomas, BALCO defendant, found guilty of perjury

Some commentators considered this trial an important test case for the defenses of upcoming baseball players (Bonds).

Check the funny facial hair references in the Thomas story. I've posted pics of her elsewhere (chess babe thread? I forget)...

[Dan Gould]

This woman deserves to lose another career and seems every bit as arrogant and unrepentant as Bonds or Clemens have ever been. To continue to insist that she never used steroids - are we to believe that her body adopted male characteristics on its own - and she didn't consult a doctor about a body gone haywire and instead just tried to cover it up by shaving her "full beard" every day? I hope she goes to prison for as long as the law allows.

[T.D.]

Take a gander at the Tammy Thomas Extreme Makeover story

[Dan Gould]

Take a gander at the Tammy Thomas Extreme Makeover story

Nope - she hasn't got any masculine features. Not a one.

[Chalupa]

It's official MLB = WWF

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3341940

Friday, April 11, 2008

MLB, players union agree to more frequent drug testing

Associated Press

NEW YORK -- Baseball players and owners agreed Friday to more frequent drug testing and increased -- but not total -- authority for the program's outside administrator.

All players implicated in December's Mitchell report on peformance-enhancing drugs were given amnesty as part of the agreement, which toughens baseball's drug rules for the third time since the program began in 2002.

Thus, the deal eliminated 15-day suspensions assessed against Jose Guillen and Jay Gibbons.

The independent administrator, a position created in November 2005, will be given an initial three-year term and can be removed only if an arbitrator finds cause. Until now, he could be fired at any time by either side.

But baseball did not heed advice from the World Anti-Doping Agency and turn drug testing over to an outside agency.

In addition, the decision over whether a player can be subjected to reasonable-cause testing will remain with management and the union, with any disagreement decided by the sport's regular arbitrator. Also, a joint management-union body called the Treatment Board will supervise the part of the program relating to drugs of abuse, such as cocaine.

Reps. Henry Waxman and Tom Davis, leaders of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform that has held hearings on drug use, said in a joint statement they were "pleased that Major League Baseball has taken steps to strengthen its drug-testing policy."

Yet the changes were not enough for Dr. Gary Wadler, chairman of committee that determines the World Anti-Doping Agency's banned-substances list.

"It's another incremental step. It's better than it was but not where it needs to be," said Wadler, who faulted baseball for not adding blood testing for human growth hormone and for not turning testing over to the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency.

"This still falls significantly short of the mark, no matter what internal bureaucracy they've patched together," Wadler said.

As part of the agreement, players will join Major League Baseball's efforts to educate youth about performance-enhancing drugs, and their union will contribute $200,000 to an anti-drug organization.

In exchange for those two provisions, baseball commissioner Bud Selig agreed not to discipline players implicated by Mitchell during his 1½-year investigation.

"We are gratified that commissioner Selig chose to accept Sen. Mitchell's recommendation that no further punishment of players is warranted," union head Donald Fehr said. "In many instances the naming of players was punishment enough; in others it may have been unfair."

Guillen and Gibbons were suspended in December following media reports linking them to performance-enhancing drugs. Those penalties were put on hold just before opening day as negotiators neared an agreement.

"It is time for the game to move forward," Selig said. "There is little to be gained at this point in debating dated misconduct and enduring numerous disciplinary proceedings."

The sides agreed that in future investigations, allegations against players won't be made public unless discipline is imposed, and that a player will be given the allegations and evidence against him before any investigatory interview.

While the sides agreed that records of negative tests be kept for two years, they did not agree to keep the actual urine samples.

Players and owners reached their first joint drug agreement in August 2002, then under pressure amended it in January 2005 and instituted a 10-day penalty for first offenses. After Congress pushed for more changes, they amended it a second time in November 2005, changing the first offense to a 50-game suspension, banning amphetamines and creating the independent program administrator, who shared power with a management-union Health Policy Advisory Committee.

In his recommendations, Mitchell said the program should be administered "by a truly independent authority" in the form of an expert who couldn't be removed except for good cause, an independent nonprofit corporation or another structure created by the sides.

As a result, the HPAC is being disbanded, and its duties largely turned over to the administrator, Dr. Bryan Smith.

In the deal, the sides agreed:

• annual tests will rise by 600 to 3,600, an average of three per player.

• as many as 375 offseason tests can be conducted over the next three years, up from the current limit of 60 per offseason.

• testing will include the top 200 prospects for each year's annual draft.

• the IPA will issue an annual report detailing what substances resulted in positive tests, the number of tests given and therapeutic use exemptions by category of ailment.

• additional substances were added to the banned list, among them: insulin-like growth factor, gonadotropins, aromatase inhibitors, selective estrogen receptor modulators, and clomid and other antiestrogens.

• an automatic stay for an initial suspension will be expanded to players disciplined for conduct unrelated to a positive test.

The sides also disclosed a previously unannounced agreement struck during the 2006 labor talks in which they specified the commissioner has authority to discipline players under a just cause standard for violations of the drug agreement that don't carry a specified penalty.

"Going into this negotiation, the commissioner was 100 percent correct that we had the best program in professional sports," said Rob Manfred, baseball's executive vice president for labor relations. "These changes just solidify that kind of premier leadership position in my view."

The new joint drug agreement, which must be ratified by both sides, runs until Dec. 11, 2011, when baseball's labor contract expires. The sides will meet annually with the IPA, the collection company and the laboratory to consider changes.

"Given the series of modifications which have previously been made, as well as the flexibility provided for in the current JDA, we do not expect to be renegotiating the JDA again prior to the next scheduled round of collective bargaining," Fehr said.

Selig's next step will be to determine whether management employees should be disciplined for conduct mentioned in the Mitchell report. He already has met with officials of the San Francisco Giants, who were mentioned prominently. Manfred said no decisions on management discipline have been made.

Selig said any fines imposed on management will be donated to the Partnership of a Drug Free America and the Taylor Hooton Foundation.

Edited April 12, 2008 by J.H. Deeley

[Dan Gould]

I don't understand the WWF comparison considering this was established by two nominally adversarial groups while the WWF "Wellness" policy is imposed by management on its employees.

Did anyone read the Sports Guy's new column for espn the mag? Its about Barry Bonds and mentions his appearance on Beverly Hills 90210. I knew that Bonds had appeared on the show because it was mentioned in Love Me, Hate Me, and I actually noticed that the episode was on when I was flipping around the dial last week. All I can say is that I wish I had watched it, for the capsule description is the very definition of "irony". From the Simmons:

I, for one, will have this memory: that 90210 in which Steve Sanders was roped into playing in a father-son golf tourney with his dad, Rush, against Rush's country-club nemesis …that's right, a father with a wisecracking baseball-player son named Barry Larson. (The casting of Bonds wasn't even the biggest leap of faith here. C'mon—we were supposed to believe Rush would ever belong to a country club that allowed black members?) As the tourney starts, Rush is cranking his longest drives in years, and that prompts Steve to confront him because, after all, nobody was allowed to cheat, engage in premarital sex, get drunk or use diet pills on 90210 without serious consequences.

When Steve (played with Emmy-worthy zeal by Ian Ziering) threatens to quit and take his blond curls with him, Rush breaks down and admits to using—wait for it—souped-up golf balls! Why, you ask? As Rush explains, he's past his prime and wants to become a club champ once more. In other words, his fear of getting old has forced him to artificially enhance his performance in an athletic competition against a character played by Barry Bonds! In 1994! I can't stop using exclamation points! Someone stop me!

You can guess how this one plays out: Steve convinces Dad to switch balls and play by the rules; the Sanders boys vanquish the Larsons in sudden death on a 175-foot putt by Steve that features four cutaways from the ball to Steve's face as it's rolling; Senior and Junior Sanders share an emotional hug; Bonds and his TV father graciously congratulate them; and every 90210 viewer learns another valuable lesson—namely, that cheating in sports isn't okay.

That lesson didn't stick with the guy who played Rush's opponent.

[Chalupa]

I don't understand the WWF comparison considering this was established by two nominally adversarial groups while the WWF "Wellness" policy is imposed by management on its employees.

OK the WWF comparison was an hyperbole that I dashed off in the heat of moment after reading that article. MLB has had its integrity damaged by questions about PED abuse. Even without the drug allegations the WWF would still have an integrity problem. However, like the WWF, MLB has done little to address the PED problem because like the WWF they care more about making money than the sport's integrity. What has been agreed to by the the player's union and Selig amounts to little more than band-aid a solution. Kissing the boo-boo won't make it go away.

But F it. It's just a game and I guess I shouldn't get so worked up over it. I mean if I were really upset about the whole PED thing I wouldn't even be following the game, or any professional sport for that matter, in the first place.

[Dan Gould]

Well, Clemens has added a new claim - "intentional infliction of emotional distress" - but most of his filing was in regards to why Texas should have authority over someone who lives in New York. One claim relates to some "long arm of the law" Texas statute, but here is the entirely nutty part of the filing:

One of the justifications Clemens' side made for jurisdiction in Texas is that McNamee allegedly made defamatory statements to Andy Pettitte, Clemens' former Houston Astros and New York Yankees' teammate, while in Texas.

"McNamee falsely told Pettitte during a conversation in Clemens's home gym in Houston, Texas in 1999 or 2000 that Clemens had used HGH," the papers said. "And McNamee also falsely told Pettitte at Pettitte's home gym in Deer Park, Texas in 2003 or 2004 that Clemens had used steroids.

"The false accusations made by McNamee that Clemens used steroids and HGH unfairly and improperly link Clemens's performance as a pitcher in 1998, 2000, and 2001 to the use of steroids and/or HGH during that time. This link is untrue and maliciously ignores Clemens's consistent record-setting performances before and after this period of time."

Wasn't it Rusty's assertion that it was the Feds and the Mitchell investigators who "forced" McNamee to name Clemens in order to avoid jail? Now they are saying that McNamee's intention to hurt Clemens started 8 years ago by falsely telling Pettitte about Clemens PED use? That is completely nuts. I mean, if their approach is going to be that McNamee is "troubled" and "hates" Clemens and that he started telling lies about him back then, why wouldn't McNamee spill the beans sooner than he did? Reporters asked him about steroid use, so why wouldn't he pull one of them aside and say "I got the story of the year for you, let's collaborate on a book"?

[Chalupa]

Bonds pleads not guilty

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/base...ex.html?cnn=yes

[Dan Gould]

Very interesting new information from the Daily News:

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball...for.html?page=0

McNamee is making a motion for dismissal based on Federal Statutes of Limitation on defamation claims - particularly Rusty's ludicrous additional claim that when McNamee told Pettitte in 1999 or 2000 that Roger was using HGH, he had defamed him. Alternatively, he seeks to move the venue to New York, where McNamee lives and works and pays taxes.

But there are several pieces of new info that is pretty damning:

1. The article says that Randomski will testify that he sent PEDs to Clemens. That is a totally new allegation and a little surprising since he didn't give that info to the Mitchell investigators.

2. An email exchange between Roger and McNamee was appended to McNamee's filing. They were discussing the false allegations that came out linking Roger to Jason Grimsley's affidavit. But there is a very odd exchange.

Roger: The real problem will be in any of the people I represent pull out. Then I will be going after someone with many law suites.

Brian: I am not sure what that last statement means ... but if it has anything to do with me in regards to being a rat or flipping on you or any of my clients I will hop on a plane, find you, and slap you very hard ...

This is direct communication in which Brian refers to being a rat or flipping on you - and does Roger say anything like "what would you have to rat about"? No - he simply clarifies to say that he was talking about going after the LA Times writer who was actually reporting incorrectly about Grimsley.

I don't care what anyone says, that's great evidence that Brian was involved with Roger's use of PEDs, Roger knew what he was getting from Brian, and with that guilty conscience, he doesn't go into his cock & bull story like he did with Pettitte. He just takes it as a given that Brian won't turn on him.

And the third thing that is interesting? Well, actually its two things:

Roger is completely illiterate, judging from his emails

Roger doesn't sign his emails "Rog" or "Roger" or even Rocket.

He signs them "22"

I knew he was vain enough to insist that his salary always end in "22" but that is ridiculous.

You can read the email exchange here and the full motion to dismiss here.

[T.D.]

Very interesting new information from the Daily News:

(snip)

And the third thing that is interesting? Well, actually its two things:

Roger is completely illiterate, judging from his emails

(snip)

(1) Can't say "very interesting"; more like "yawn" in my case.

(2) A few months ago (when the issue was hotter), Sports Illustrated ran a profile of Clemens (by Verducci), with some focus on the relationship with McNamee. The article portrayed Roger as an extreme dumbass, to the point where any (real or functional) illiteracy comes as no surprise.

Edited July 3, 2008 by T.D.