couw Posted May 11, 2005 Report Share Posted May 11, 2005 http://www.sandowplus.co.uk/Competition/Co...tunts-intro.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonym Posted May 17, 2005 Report Share Posted May 17, 2005 Darth Vader, 'This Is Your Life' Not sure if you havd this cheesy show in the States but this is quite a good spoof transcript of the show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Skid Posted May 17, 2005 Report Share Posted May 17, 2005 Sugar Bush Squirrel® - "The World's Most Photographed (and most patriotic) Squirrel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonym Posted May 20, 2005 Report Share Posted May 20, 2005 Which Star Wars character are you? I was err.....the Emporer Palatine. I wouldn't care I'm not really that hell bent on galactic domination. just wondering what sort of messed up answers you have to give to be comparable to C3 PO? " Do you have an angle grinder concealed about your person?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted May 20, 2005 Report Share Posted May 20, 2005 just wondering what sort of messed up answers you have to give to be comparable to C3 PO? [ Don't ask Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonym Posted May 20, 2005 Report Share Posted May 20, 2005 just wondering what sort of messed up answers you have to give to be comparable to C3 PO? [ Don't ask OK. (Bleeep, bleep.....toot, toot, blip) ← Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgraham333 Posted May 20, 2005 Report Share Posted May 20, 2005 * I hate turtlenecks. I have such a weak neck. Plus if you wear a turtleneck it's like being strangled by a really weak guy ... all day. And if you wear a turtleneck and a backpack it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down. * I was at a club and they had blacklights everywhere. A blacklight is a light that makes everyone look cool... except me, 'cause I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out. * Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out flyers. And when someone tries to hand me out a flyer, it's kinda like they're saying, "Here — you throw this away." * I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin' and hook up with them later. * I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others. * I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've travelled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so that it will not fall off the wall. * I rent a lot of cars, you know, 'cause I go on the road. I rent cars and when I drive a rental car, I don't know what's going on with it, right? So a lot of times I drive, like, for ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the "emergency brake." It's really not an "emergency brake", it's an "emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever." * I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was so damn literal. * I got some tartar control toothpaste. I still got tartar, but that sh**'s under control. If the tartar gets outta line, I'm like, "Come on, man, you know the deal. Fall in! You crazy-ass tartar..." I got so much tartar, I don't have to dip my fish sticks in sh**!...That's actually kinda gross. * I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it. * I type at one hundred and one words a minute. But it's in my own language. * I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get a hold of me they just say "Mitch," and I say "What?" and turn my head slightly ... * I wrote a script for a guy, and he said he liked it but he thought that I needed to rewrite it. I said, "F*** that, I'll just make a copy." * I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that ... day. * I had a coldsore, and I put carmex on it cuz carmex is supposed to heal coldsores. I dunno if it does , but it will make them shiny and more noticeable... * An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an escalator "Temporarily Out of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs... Sorry for the Convenience ... We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there." * I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen but he could not read it, he thought I was just trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper. * I was in a bar, minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. * I wish I could play Little League now, I'd kick some f***ing ass.... they'd back up now. * I played golf, I'm not good at golf, I never got good at it. I never got a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. And that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell "fore." But I was too busy mumbling, "there ain't no way that's gonna hit him." .... I hit a guy in one. What's par for hitting a guy? One. If you hit a guy in two, you are an A**hole. * I mumble a lot offstage, I’m a mumbler. If I’m walking with a friend and I say something, he won’t hear me. He’ll say, ‘What?’ So I’ll say it again, but once again he doesn’t hear me, so he says, ‘What?’ But really it’s just some insignificant shit that I’m saying, but now I’m yelling, ‘That tree is far away!’ * My roommate says, "I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird-ass quiz where he reveals the answer first... * My friend said to me "Man, this weather is trippy." I said to him, "No man, it's not the weather that is trippy, perhaps it is the way we perceive it that is indeed trippy..." then I thought, man, I should have just said, 'yeah' ... -Mitch Hedberg R.I.P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardbopjazz Posted May 25, 2005 Report Share Posted May 25, 2005 Soapbox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man with the Golden Arm Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Cool Drawing Flash kind of looses it once he starts with the hogging out the clothes but very nice even for a fellow "hand avoider". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
couw Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Cool Drawing Flash kind of looses it once he starts with the hogging out the clothes but very nice even for a fellow "hand avoider". ← the final touch of adjusting the chinline was a bit of a let-down... and of course no match for master of the hands, even if only bones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardbopjazz Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Star Wars Geeks. Geeks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzmoose Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Star Wars Geeks. Geeks ← Holy shit...my wife is calling the hospital as I type..I'm dying... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
couw Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Star Wars Geeks. Geeks ← Holy shit...my wife is calling the hospital as I type..I'm dying... ← download link! for you al to POOP on!! heheheh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catesta Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILLYQ Posted May 27, 2005 Report Share Posted May 27, 2005 FOR ME TO POOP ON!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonym Posted May 27, 2005 Report Share Posted May 27, 2005 Which one of these buttons calls your parents to pick you up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neveronfriday Posted May 27, 2005 Report Share Posted May 27, 2005 Bunny Suicides Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
couw Posted May 30, 2005 Report Share Posted May 30, 2005 http://www.dontletgo.com/planets/Planets.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chaney Posted May 30, 2005 Report Share Posted May 30, 2005 Star Wars Geeks. Geeks ← That is dangerously funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
couw Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 back to basic: http://www.miniclip.com/leosteel/leosteel.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chaney Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 MP3: Simpsons episode with "DVS" audio captioning for those without sight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
couw Posted June 7, 2005 Report Share Posted June 7, 2005 http://www.koreus.com/files/200505/men-in-coats.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chaney Posted June 7, 2005 Report Share Posted June 7, 2005 http://www.koreus.com/files/200505/men-in-coats.html ← Gets slightly naughty near the end but that one is otherwise great fun for the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgraham333 Posted June 7, 2005 Report Share Posted June 7, 2005 Not a game for cat lovers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7/4 Posted June 8, 2005 Report Share Posted June 8, 2005 http://www.infonegocio.com/xeron/bruno/italy.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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