AllenLowe

it's a new day, brothers and sisters, though I don't know what the hell I'm doing up so early - let's bump for $ -

"pretty soon there will be no jazz. everything is blurred and coming together and melding into a big ball of suck. this is just my opinion. " well, wake up now - this blurring started about 30 years ago - and I do sense a bit of Crow Jim, as Dave Van Ronk used to say, in your attitude. It's like when I recentty read about Joe Chambers complaining because the Bad Plus guys haven't paid enough dues - the music is the music is the music, on its own terms, I don't care if these guys were born in a log cabin or in a manger. We have the music, and it's quite good. Too much sour grapes in the jazz world when a good (young) band is successful -

let us not forget Frank Trumbauer, who played alto in addition to C Melody -

it's also good to put those house lights on timers, which are real cheap at hardware stores and easy to set up -

there's always the recording of the barking dog that some company used to sell - years ago one of my old lady neighbors had one of those - it was like an advertisment that she wasn't home -

good, let's bump for dollars -

but all seriousness aside, as Steve Allen used to say, it's a brand new day - Jim, can you give us a tally? or are you worried about the IRS? pony up, boys and girls - if you can find a pony -

well, when we hit $1 million I'll set my tighty-white-ies on fire and dance the macarena -

my old LP of Spiro Agnew speeches -

hey Joe - 1) Was gonna ask if you need help replacing anything music or instrument-related, like tubes, etc etc (maybe you're a solid-state guy) - looks like they didn't take much in that area, but feel free to ask - (unless I'm more senile than I think I am, you're a guitar player) - 2) when I lived in New Haven we had a break in - after which I found a cheap method of security; alarm systems are expensive if you get the kind that are wired into the cops; HOWEVER, if you get one that is simply an alarm wired into a window or door, and get a HUGE bell that rings both inside and outside, usually the sound will scare them off, as they don't really know if the cops are coming or if the neighbors are calling the cops - this worked for us; we had one break in; on the second, after buying a fairly inexpensive nois-maker, the loud alarm brought the neighbors running and the guy ran off, dropped my saxophone (thank god) in the back yard and ran off with nothing - if you get something like this, avoid the motion sensor, as the cat will set it off every 20 seconds, no matter what the alarm guy tells you - simply get something wired to doors and windows - not 100% foolproof, but it worked for me - as for prints and finding the guy I wouldn't be too optimistic - for the cops, that's too much like actual work -

yeah Chuck, and don't forget those child-support checks - those women aren't getting any less pregnant -

trust me, I'm not making any money on these - it's basically for cost - unless you count the Vietnamese orphans I have in my tool shed who are assembling the booklets - but hey, I got 'em from Nessa -

I'm happy to do this every month -

no orders yet - somewhere a crippled child has just died -

wait - you mean things have taken a downturn in jazz? how can you tell? well, as Groucho said, I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty -

I'll sell any volume of Devilin Tune (1-4) for $35 shipped and donate $10 of that to this site - offer holds for about a day, or unless I get too many orders - I figure I can spare about 6 volumes - email me at alowe@maine.rr.com lets do paypal if we can -

all right, I'll post this in the offering area as well - I'll sell any volume of Devilin Tune (1-4) for $35 shipped and donate $10 of that to this site - offer holds for about a day, or unless I get too many orders - I figure I can spare about 6 volumes - email me at alowe@maine.rr.com lets do paypal if we can -

my house -

actually, slow day at work -

or, ask not what repertoire can do for you, ask what you can do for repertoire -

I'm wiith Tom on this one - excellent trio - hey, if Jaki Byard could play Besame Mucho and In the Land of Make Believe, than we ought not to bury repertoire but to praise it -

good, the money's coming in - now we can get back to insulting everybody in the business -

actually, thanks, but the new issue (Fall) has a full page review of Devilin Tune and Jews in Hell -

let's bump for more cash - surely more people can give immediately -

fill in the blanks: From Jim Alfredson's diary: I hate _____ because he's the worst goddamned jazz critic on the planet, and his wife looks like _____ . On top of that, his son is addicted to _______ and sleeps with ________ . And his daughter smells like ______. Even worse is the club I played at last week, ______. The owner is full of _____ and the bathrooms smell like _____. The waitresses all used to work at _______ and so the service is about as efficient as _______. I'd rather play in a _____. At least than I might get ____ and maybe have ____ once in a while. Last summer we played at the _____ Jazz Festival. It was about as exciting an event as _______, because the director, ______, always books _____ as the opening act. Stupid director, she should book Allen Lowe and his ______. Everyone knows that Allen Lowe is ________. At least that's what HE tells everyone. In conclusion, I am sick of the whole jazz world, and mostly because of ________, who knows as much about music as a pile of ________. Next time I see him, I am going to take a ______ on his head and a _____ on his leg. Maybe that will teach him to keep his ______ out of my _______.