I always wanted to be crap at sports - and succeeded magnificently! I couldn't get this idea of winning; couldn't see the point. To me, sports were something to be enjoyed. And, as far as I was concerned, that meant me doing things I wasn't supposed to do. Like taking the piss out of the teacher or other players or the game itself; or cheating obviously; or, grinning broadly, letting an opponent score when I could easily have stopped him; or skiving. 
 
Every so often we were forced to do a cross country run, through the wild parts of a huge park near the school. I lived at the edge of this park and the route ran close to home. So I'd stop off and have a cup of tea and a Jimmy Riddle; get back to school a lot later than everyone else. 
 
MG