Tim McG

According to Foxsports.com, Jimenez is starting game 2 at Fenway and Fogg is starting Game 3 at home. If that is true, and the splits hold up, I LOVE IT! Since when did FoxSorts gain any credibility? So you hold court with Tim McCarver now? Oooo. Bad omen, Dan.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place: ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearanc e here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Brother Mark is a monk in the monastery and he has taken his vow of silence. He gets one chance to speak every ten years. So, ten years pass and Brother Mark is called to the Head Monk's office. "Brother Mark," says the Head Monk, "You have taken your vow of chastity, you have obeyed the laws of God. You have earned your right to speak. What would you like to say?" Brother Mark looks at the Head Monk and says "Food's cold." Then he leaves. Ten more years pass and once again Brother Mark is called to the Head Monk's office. "Brother Mark," says the Head Monk, "You have taken your vow of chastity, you have obeyed the laws of God. Ten more years have passed, and you have earned your right to speak. What would you like to say?" Brother Mark looks at the Head Monk and says, "Bed's hard." Then he leaves. Ten more years pass. "Brother Mark," says the Head Monk, "You have taken your vow of chastity, you have obeyed the laws of God. You have earned your right to speak. What would you like to say?" "I quit," says Brother Mark. "That's all right. You was always bitchin' anyway."

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

So this cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me. " the cab driver replies. She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says,"Yes, I'm single and Catholic! "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun, "Why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

Or water supplies. You should see the Sierra Nevadas....they are dry as a bone right now.

My brother and his family are....but I don't think they needed to evacuate.

Babe Ruth Bebe Neuwirth Barbra "Babs" Streisand

I certainly hope so! Just pray for no snow. The delays could put the WS into November. Brrrrrr.

Nah. Rocks in six. They're just on fire right now. They are young and got nothing to loose. It will be a fun WS to watch: Sox pitching vs Rocks hitting.

Analog is ending Not according to my watch.

André Previn André René Roussimoff [André the Giant] Andre Agassi

Optical illusion, Guys. That Right Brain/Left Brain stuff is old news. Been a teaching strategy for over a decade now.

Red Sox Nation meet the Rockies Nation: Be afraid, be very afraid. Rockies suspend World Series ticket sales after computer crash By COLLEEN SLEVIN, Associated Press Writer October 22, 2007 DENVER (AP) -- The Colorado Rockies suspended World Series ticket sales Monday after overwhelming demand crashed their computer system. "Right now we're shutting the system down," club spokesman Jay Alves announced outside Coors Field, drawing boos from fans. "We expect to be online at some point." "We're as frustrated and disappointed as they are," Alves said. Alves had said last week that the Rockies were prepared for any computer problems. On Monday, there were 8.5 million attempts to connect with the computers in the first 90 minutes after sales started, he said, and only several hundred tickets had been sold before the system had to be shut down. The Rockies put as many as 60,000 tickets up for sale online only, and team officials said their computers were ready to handle the expected crush. But two hours after tickets went on sale, many fans reported they could not get access to the ticket-sales Web site. Officials with the Rockies and Major League Baseball did not immediately return calls. Irvine, Calif.-based Paciolan Inc., which is running the computers for the Rockies' World Series ticket sales, said the crash affected the company's entire North American system. Paciolan CEO Dave Butler said he did not yet know whether demand for Rockies tickets caused the crash. "This is not the Rockies' fault in anyway whatsoever," Butler said. "We are working hard to address it." About 20 people lined up in near-freezing temperatures outside the Denver Public Library before it opened in hopes of using public-access computers to score tickets. "If you can't get tickets here, you're going to have to pay $200, $300 above face value," said Clayton McLeod, a 26-year-old heavy-machine operator who took the day off to try to get seats. McLeod said he has Internet access from his apartment building but thought the library's computers might be faster. His mother, father, uncle and girlfriend were trying to buy tickets from other computers, he said. His boss, also a Rockies fan, agreed to give him the day off and asked McLeod to get tickets for him, too. "We'll see how many I'll get," McLeod said. The Rockies limited sales to four per person per game. The Series opens in Boston with games on Wednesday and Thursday. Games 3 and 4 will be on Saturday and Sunday in Denver. If there is a Game 5, it will be played Monday in Denver. Coors Field seats more than 50,000, but about 30,000 spots per game are allotted to season-ticket holders, the two teams and Major League Baseball. Season-ticket holders got a chance to buy their tickets last weekend. Prices range from $65 to $250. Tickets originally were to be sold at Coors Field and Rockies' Dugout Stores in the Denver area, as well as online. The team announced Wednesday all sales would be online, saying that would be more fair

What bandwagon....I have no dog in this fight. I just support the NL representative in the WS [well, except the [hated] dodgers, of course]. sheesh

Try being a SF Giants/49er's fan. My condolences.

Well there ya go. In reality, he only rooted for the Sox to somehow "prove" his baseball acumen. Nope. Neither of you are correct: My wife and her mom are from New England. Nuff said? Plus, I understand the history of the playoffs....1986 ALCS looms large. BoSox were never out of it. The Fenway Faithful would make sure of that. Besides, I have always rooted for the BoSox in the AL East. The damn Yankees play there, right? Anyway, good luck in the WS Dan. I gotta pull for the NL West now.

To be fair, had Lofton scored the BoSox would have won by 8 runs instead of 9.

[ahem] So! How stOOpid was I, Tribe fans? Uh....Paging Skeith.

BoSox win it in a laugher. 11-2. Congrats, Dan!

Shades of the 1986 ALCS..... Go BoSox!

Mario Andretti Mario Lemieux Mario Lopez

[doorbell rings] Joey the Suit: So! We's understand that youse got something of ours. Ain't that right Guido? Guido, the knuckle dragger: Can I hit 'im now Boss?

BCS poll 1. Ohio State 2. USF (woo-hoo!) 3. Boston College 4. LSU 5. Oklahoma 6. South Carolina 7. Kentucky 8. Arizona State 9. West Virginia 10. Oregon Wow! Some new schools here. SEC with three, Pac 10 and Big East with two. Big Ten and Big 12 and ACC with one each. I'm thinking this list will be completely different by the end of the year. Although, USF has a chance to win out. They do play Thursday at Rutgers. That may be dicey. Proof positive: The BCS is a joke.

Leonard Feather Jeffery Leonard Tom Jeffery