Outrageous gig behavior

[slide_advantage_redoux]

I didn't see a specific thread area to place this topic in the main area, so here it goes. If it needs to be moved, fine.

Everyone who has been in this business has seen a number of on-the-gig incidents that have occured that - after awhile at least - are funny as hell. I thought this would be a humorous topic that we could enjoy.

I will start with one that happened locally.

There was a sax player who was not too particulary inclined to be playing society dates, but money issues forced him into it (who cannot relate?). He was on a Ted Weems, Jr gig at a country club in Amarillo, Texas. During the course of the gig, after playing each song, he would quietly tear said song in half and drop it on the floor under his stand front.

At the end of the gig, Ted was folding up the stands, books etc. while the musicians stood around waiting to load up for the long drive back to Dallas. When Ted got to the lead tenor book, and then saw the destroyed parts on the floor, he immediately went to find the offending saxman.

He walked up to him, grabbed him by the lapels of his tuxedo coat, and as he shook him he exclaimed loudly: "You will never work for me again!"

As he did so, several pieces of the country club's silverware inventory slid out from inside his coat, clattering on the tile floor!

No, he never did work for Ted again.

Edited June 21, 2006 by slide_advantage_redoux

[fasstrack]

Ted Weems Jr.? Ted Weems Jr.? This is a name gig? No wonder junior is stealing the silverware.

Too funny.

How's this for burnout: I once knew a guy that got so sick of the club date scene he took his dirty nicotine-stained drawers and hung them on the wedding cake.

Don't know if the leader fired him but I have a sneaking suspicion the band passed on dessert that night.

[BERIGAN]

Ted Weems Jr.? Ted Weems Jr.? This is a name gig? No wonder junior is stealing the silverware.

Too funny.

....

I thought from reading the post above, it was the sax player who stole the silverware.

[Dan Gould]

Ted Weems Jr.? Ted Weems Jr.? This is a name gig? No wonder junior is stealing the silverware.

Too funny.

....

I thought from reading the post above, it was the sax player who stole the silverware.

Yeah, I couldn't tell where the silverware came from either.

[Spontooneous]

Yes, please clarify the pronoun. And tell us some more stories about Sangrey.

[slide_advantage_redoux]

Yes, please clarify the pronoun. And tell us some more stories about Sangrey.

Now now, that is how rumors get started! This happened in the early 70s. The sax player was a UNT student (but not Sangrey!)

On one other Weems gig, we drove to west Texas to play a dance. When we got there, we saw that the dance was being held in a barn that was being used daily to shear sheep in. Need I describe the odor?

Anyway, half way through the gig, an announcement is made that everyone must evacuate the building because of a bomb threat! A small town dance in a sheep shearing barn, and it is interrupted by a bomb threat?? As we learned later, a disgruntled local who was not invited to the evening's festivities was the culprit.

[JSngry]

Yes, please clarify the pronoun. And tell us some more stories about Sangrey.

Now now, that is how rumors get started!

Tell me about it. Between the years of 1978 & 1981. my life took the following turns, in this order:

1. I began publicly playing and recording "free" jazz
   
2. I took a house gig at a cumbia club which lasted almost a year, The clientele was exclusively illegal immigrants
   
3. I moved in with a woman that I met at the club
   
4. After the gig and the relationship ended, I went on the road for a little over a year with a "show band".
   
5. While on the road, I met LTB in Albuquerque
   
6. When the road gig ended, I moved to Albuquerque to begin life in earnest w/Brenda
   

Well, when we moved back to Dallas in 1984, I was astounded to meet more than a few people who told me that they had heard that I had moved to Mexico, married a Mexican woman, and was involved in a radical political organization there, having actually been imprisoned for playing subversive music.

WTF?

[Big Wheel]

Yes, please clarify the pronoun. And tell us some more stories about Sangrey.

Now now, that is how rumors get started!

Well, when we moved back to Dallas in 1984, I was astounded to meet more than a few people who told me that they had heard that I had moved to Mexico, married a Mexican woman, and was involved in a radical political organization there, having actually been imprisoned for playing subversive music.

WTF?

I've heard there are a few individuals who can get folks out of jams like that...

[Big Wheel]

And isn't cumbia a Colombian version of salsa? Are there that many Colombians in the Southwest US?

[slide_advantage_redoux]

Okay one more .... and then it is someone else's turn to share a story! -_-

On a local society date, there was another disgruntled sax player (they get all the publicity for stories like this). At the end of the engagement, a lady walked up to the bandstand as the reedman was putting his sax away.

To the sax player she said:

"The band sounded very good tonight",

to which he replied:

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW??"

True story (and no, that wasn't Sangrey either)

[paul secor]

Good one, but we're still waiting for a Sangrey story ....

[fasstrack]

Yes, please clarify the pronoun. And tell us some more stories about Sangrey.

Now now, that is how rumors get started!

Tell me about it. Between the years of 1978 & 1981. my life took the following turns, in this order:

1. I began publicly playing and recording "free" jazz
   
2. I took a house gig at a cumbia club which lasted almost a year, The clientele was exclusively illegal immigrants
   
3. I moved in with a woman that I met at the club
   
4. After the gig and the relationship ended, I went on the road for a little over a year with a "show band".
   
5. While on the road, I met LTB in Albuquerque
   
6. When the road gig ended, I moved to Albuquerque to begin life in earnest w/Brenda
   

Well, when we moved back to Dallas in 1984, I was astounded to meet more than a few people who told me that they had heard that I had moved to Mexico, married a Mexican woman, and was involved in a radical political organization there, having actually been imprisoned for playing subversive music.

WTF?

I it. People's stories are priceless.

So they thought of you as a sort of jazz Lori Berenson? (Not to make fun of a very unfortunate situation)

[fasstrack]

I've heard there are a few individuals who can get folks out of jams like that...

[AllenLowe]

well, my brother was working a country and western gig on guitar, and there was an old upright piano that sat in a pit below the stage that the rest of the band was playing on (the band had a pianist who was banging away on it)- in the middle of the gig they heard a streaming sound, looked over, and a drunken patron was peeing from the stage into the upright piano -

[Free For All]

nicotine-stained drawers

Is this a new method of smoking I wasn't aware of? Is it still possible to blow smoke rings that way?

[Noj]

nicotine-stained drawers

Is this a new method of smoking I wasn't aware of? Is it still possible to blow smoke rings that way?

It's just where he had sneezed and got snuff in them.

[AllenLowe]

gives new meaning to "blow it out your shorts" -

[slide_advantage_redoux]

This happened a few years ago. I was playing a wedding in Austin with a party band based in Dallas. It was the wedding reception from hell. Talk about Bridezilla! This woman was completely out of control.

She had emailed a list of tunes to the bandleader...tunes to NOT play. So far no problem.

We are playing the reception and the bride comes running across the floor, flailing her arms wildly. She demands we stop playing the song we were in the middle of. (I can't recall what tune it was, but we never did any blue or controversial tunes) Again, no big deal. We go on to a different song.

Then the toasts were done. After the last toast, the bride's grandma - who had been standing by the stage - asked our female singer if she could speak into the mic. So the singer helps granny on stage.

We had just played a swing medley before the toasts, and apparently granny liked it, because when she spoke into the microphone, she said "I saw Glenn Miller in Paris in 1939 (or whenever)...blah blah blah"

The bride's mother and her aunt discreetly helped grandma off mic and off stage.

Obviously granny had too much champagne. No big deal, it is family, right?

Wrong.

Up comes bridezilla once more. She gestures the singer to lean forward. Then she says to her:

"You fucking bitch, you ruined my wedding!" (apparently by allowing granny on stage)

I am not one to kiss and tell, but the upshot is that the bride's aunt - an attractive and single physical trainer from LA - took a real liking to the trombone player - your's truly. I ended up taking her back to my hotel room where we spent the night together.

Paypack bitch, payback!

The day after, I spoke to the bandleader and he was totally cool with the situation, since the attraction was mutual. Yet one year later, the leader had a change of heart, and I no longer play in that band.

Alas.

Edited June 22, 2006 by slide_advantage_redoux

[mikeweil]

Earlier this year, the Kurdish singer I work for wanted to try and add a violin player to the band. After many phone calls her musical director had located the guy they wanted, and talked him into joining - he was travelling between Australia, where he risides, Turkey, and Germany all the time. They bought him a plane ticket to Spain where the gig was, and he was to join us on Frankfurt airport. When we arrived in Madrid part of his baggage was missing. We lost an hour and a half at Madrid airport before he gave up, and another hour the next day because he wanted to check if it had arrived in the meantime. (Back in Frankfurt it turned out that had simply forgotten to check in his main bag in Frankfurt.) At least he had his violin .... Now this guy was extremely talented, being able to play twenty different instruments, but also extremely unrestful, not to say hyperactive, always tapping his foot etc. After soundcheck and before the gig we went backstage to eat, and he talked without end, chased around the dressing rooms, downing five beers within 40 minutes before the concert was to begin.

Best was, when the band was to walk on stage it turned out he had forgot to bring his violin from the dressing rooms downstairs and had to sit out the first number in which he was to be the main accompanist .....

The band agent cancelled his tickets to the locations of then other gigs and fired him after the concert. He kept calling our musical director for reasons why he was fired ..... We recently met him at a festival where he was playing with another band, and he acted like nothing had happened.

Edited June 22, 2006 by mikeweil

[JSngry]

And isn't cumbia a Colombian version of salsa? Are there that many Colombians in the Southwest US?

The rhythm is Columbian in derivation, but it became extremely popular in Mexico & the Southwest US.