AllenLowe Posted November 29, 2009 Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 (edited) I'm thinking in particular about old standard songs - for example, I always thought the line "my heart beat like a hammer" in Stars Fell on Alabama, was a god-awful thing. So when I sing it around the house I change it to: "I... was living in the slammer...." or "I... stutter and I stammer" "I...flunked the sex I.Q. test in Glamour" "I...had a date with Tamara" "I...never had good grammar." (yes, I know, all signs of someone who does not have enough to do) any more? Edited November 29, 2009 by AllenLowe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 (edited) "love was just a glance away...come here pull down your pants away" "I heard it said...that the thrill of romance...is when you jump into bed...and you pull down your pants..." "It's a shame the way she makes me eat those s'mores" Edited November 29, 2009 by AllenLowe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 "she...set fire to my jammies..." "I...was feeling cold and clammy" (title change: Stars Fell on Alabamy") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 "I...won myself a Grammy" "I...had a date with Tammy" "I...was shot in Vietnam-y" "I...did the town with Sammy" I...did it with your mama..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 "I...was hangin' with Jeff Dahmer..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 "I...called the Dalai Lama...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 "I...was fishing for some salmon...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrdlu Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 How about the awful, un-fixable bit in "The Girl From Ipanema"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 (edited) sorry, someone else will have to deal with that one - I have my hands full - "I...was listening on the scanner..." Edited November 30, 2009 by AllenLowe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 actually, which line do you mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrdlu Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 "... She looks straight ahead not at he ..." Not Jobim's fault. He only wrote the Portuguese lyrics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 how about "she looks straight ahead at a tree." or "she looks straight ahead, there in Phill-y" (Gilberto currently lives in that city) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceH Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Neither of the lines you guys mentioned really bugs me at all. What do you expect from lyrics? Poetry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 We could probably have a whole forum dedicated to bad lyrics (which are sometimes just an afterthought to a catch melody). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 (edited) there are just some times (to answer Bruce) when a line is just so clunky and awkward that it screams "rhyme." That's why I particularly dislike "my heart beat like a hammer." Another that bothers me is "I'm like an oven crying for heat." I never heard an oven cry. of course, the most obnoxious purveyor of words that tear and strain to rhyme was Dylan, who wrote too fast, convinced as he was that, as a genius, no matter what he did was a work of genius. Same problem with Lou Reed (and he may be the most embarrassing example of a good artist gone bad). Edited November 30, 2009 by AllenLowe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted November 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 (edited) a little Lou Reed: Remember when, we were younger when You would wait for me at school Teacher's friends and brazen sins And I was often cruel But you always believed in me You thought I was the best And now that I got you alone Let me get this off my chest Pick a melody Then count from one to ten I make a rhyme up Then we will try again To laugh or cry or give a sigh To past that might have been And how much I really love my baby sister AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Edited November 30, 2009 by AllenLowe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeline Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 "... She looks straight ahead not at he ..." Not Jobim's fault. He only wrote the Portuguese lyrics. Vinicius de Moraes wrote the Portuguese lyrics.... Jobim wrote the song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spontooneous Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 OK, here's a patch for the Ipanema bridge: Each day as she walks to the ocean She looks straight ahead, not at Allen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Kart Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 How about: Olha que coisa mais linda Mais cheia de graça É ela a menina Que vem e que passa Num doce balanço A caminho do mar Moça do corpo dourado Do sol de Ipanema O seu balançado É mais que um poema É a coisa mais linda Que eu já vi passar Ah, Por que estou tão sozinho Ah, Por que tudo é tão triste Ah, A beleza que existe A beleza que não é só minha Que também passa sozinha Ah, se ela soubesse Que quando ela passa O mundo sorrindo Se enche de graça E fica mais lindo Por causa do amor Por causa do amor... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spontooneous Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 How about: Olha que coisa mais linda Mais cheia de graça É ela a menina Que vem e que passa Num doce balanço A caminho do mar Moça do corpo dourado Do sol de Ipanema O seu balançado É mais que um poema É a coisa mais linda Que eu já vi passar Ah, Por que estou tão sozinho Ah, Por que tudo é tão triste Ah, A beleza que existe A beleza que não é só minha Que também passa sozinha Ah, se ela soubesse Que quando ela passa O mundo sorrindo Se enche de graça E fica mais lindo Por causa do amor Por causa do amor... Yeah, but you'll never get that on the radio in the USA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danasgoodstuff Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 I thought it was "She looks straight ahead, not at me", or am I being self-centered? Either way, it doesn't bug me/he. Neither does "My heart beat (just) like a hammer'which is also in any number of blues in some variant and must've been idiomatic at some place/time. "I'm like an oven crying for heat" is inventive, it suggests that heat is what it (and I) was built for... I think most of the truly bad lyrics in good songs I just forget...but I'll try to think of some. I agree with Allen that Dylan often worked too fast and didn't edit, and that Reed long ago jumped the shark and entered his fat elvis period without much of anyone noticing...Songs For Drella was so bad that it was funny to me, in small doses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceH Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 "She loves you Yeah, yeah, yeah She loves you Yeah, yeah, yeah She loves you Yeah, yeah, yeah..." I actually like those lines. But I have to agree, Lou Reed has been sucking for a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Storer Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 Then there's always this immortal couplet from "These Foolish Things": "A tinkling piano in the next apartment, Those stumbling words that told you what my heart meant" Of course, when Billie Holiday sings it, all is forgiven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted December 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 (edited) "Each day as she walks to the ocean She looks straight ahead, not at Allen. " or "each day as she walks to the ocean - she applies lots of sun tan lotion" Edited December 1, 2009 by AllenLowe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllenLowe Posted December 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 some of the worst crap from Dylan: (Visions of Johanna): "Ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet? We sit here stranded, though we're all doin' our best to deny it And Louise holds a handful of rain, temptin' you to defy it Lights flicker from the opposite loft In this room the heat pipes just cough The country music station plays soft But there's nothing, really nothing to turn off Just Louise and her lover so entwined And these visions of Johanna that conquer my mind" an opposite loft? give me a break. Though that's the least of the problems here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_forumlogo.png.a607ef20a6e0c299ab2aa6443aa1f32e.png)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.