Joke of the Day

[GA Russell]

 

[JSngry]

I actually like the basic Starbucks flavor. So ti me, that's not funny, it's just stupid.

You know what else was stupid was that Starbucks Blonde, for people who wanted something else besides Starbucks from Starbucks. Talk about a REAL blonde joke...

[GA Russell]

 

[Kevin Bresnahan]

The Babylon Bee seems to think some things are funnier than they really are. Considering some of their other tweets, I can see why.

[Ken Dryden]

[GA Russell]

https://x.com/Thebestfigen/status/1922270661281501326

[Rooster_Ties]

7 hours ago, GA Russell said:

https://x.com/Thebestfigen/status/1922270661281501326

No joke (no joke).

[JSngry]

No content?

[Rooster_Ties]

1 hour ago, JSngry said:

No content?

Hard to be content with no content.

[JSngry]

Carnation despairs.

[GA Russell]

[GA Russell]

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.

He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, 'And get me a coke, you cow!' The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls 'And get me another coke dogface!'

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. 'I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!'

The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.

Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, 'For someone who can't fly, you've got guts!'

[GA Russell]

A blind pilot walks onto a plane waving his white cane.  The passengers look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he's one of the best pilots in the world with over 6,000 successful flights."

Next, the co-pilot makes his way to the plane. He's also blind, and he uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin. The flight attendant then says, "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over 5,000 successful flights."

At this point the plane begins to take off on the runway.  It gains speed, and the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating faster and faster; and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground.

The plane is approaching the end of the runway at a really high speed, and the passengers start to scream, "Oh my god oh my god we're all going to die!"

Suddenly the plane takes off and begins its ascent. The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming we're screwed."

Edited 1 hour ago by GA Russell