GA Russell

A recent police study showed that you are much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

My neighbors love me for playing the piano. They break my window to hear me better.

RIP. It's hard to be funny over such an extended period.

I remember the Dynaflex records. Was their sound any worse than their competitors' at the time?

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

I saw on this nature show on TV how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

They say marriages are made in heaven. So are thunder and lightning.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

A poll showed that two out of five men would rather have love than money or health. Yeah, that's what a woman wants. A broke sick guy.

Yesterday was Free Agent Day. So let me put here a few links listing the day's events, starting with one last ranking of the top 40 players. https://3downnation.com/2022/02/08/top-xx-cfl-free-agents/ https://www.cfl.ca/2022/02/08/sudden-impact-team-team-look-free-agency-5/ https://3downnation.com/2022/02/08/2022-cfl-free-agency-live/ https://3downnation.com/2022/02/08/who-each-team-signed-and-lost-during-the-first-day-of-cfl-free-agency/ https://www.cbc.ca/sports/football/cfl/cfl-free-agency-1.6343922 https://www.cfl.ca/2022/02/08/oleary-breaking-day-1-free-agency/ https://www.cfl.ca/transactions https://www.cfl.ca/fa22/ ***** Here was the quarterback situation leading up to the big day. https://www.tsn.ca/cfl-qb-market-tracker-1.1754589 ***** It looks like BC is going to go with two Canadian quarterbacks. Since the current CFL corporation was formed in 1958, no one has gone with two Canadian QBs. https://3downnation.com/2022/02/08/canadian-qb-michael-oconnor-signs-with-b-c-lions/

Why do people say, "Life is short?" Life is the longest thing anyone ever does. What can you do that's longer?

The Four Freshmen The Kingston Trio The Beach Boys The Beatles

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

I had to look Mitch Hedberg up.

Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.

If you want to know how old a woman is, just ask her sister-in-law.

Ability is what will get you to the top, if the boss doesn't have a daughter.

Free Agent rankings OL https://3downnation.com/2022/02/03/2022-cfl-free-agent-rankings-offensive-line/ ***** Matt O'Donnell has retired. https://www.cfl.ca/2022/02/03/elks-ol-matt-odonnell-announces-retirement/ https://3downnation.com/2022/02/03/big-man-bigger-career-elks-ol-matt-odonnell-retires-after-nine-seasons-in-green-gold/ https://www.tsn.ca/edmonton-elks-matt-o-donnell-retires-1.1754466 ***** Brendan Taman is joining the Redblacks' front office. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/01/ottawa-redblacks-hiring-former-riders-gm-brendan-taman-report/ https://3downnation.com/2022/01/03/redblacks-finalize-football-operations-staff-including-brendan-taman-chad-hudson/ https://3downnation.com/2022/01/08/redblacks-brendan-taman-you-dont-have-a-chance-without-good-canadians-and-qb/ ***** The Simpsons featured the Bombers' bus Jan. 2. I think the gag was that an entire NFL team had decided they would rather play in the Canadian league. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/03/winnipeg-blue-bombers-team-bus-appears-in-the-simpsons/ ***** David Foucault has signed with the Elks. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/03/edmonton-elks-sign-veteran-canadian-ol-david-foucault-two-others/ ***** Matthew Cauz lists his top free agent moves of the past 13 years. https://www.cfl.ca/2022/02/03/cauz-top-free-agent-moves-past-13-years/ ***** Dominique Davis has signed with the Alouettes. https://www.tsn.ca/montreal-alouettes-dominque-davis-1.1754694

An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida; but they turned sixty, and that's the law.

John Bowman will be the Lions' d-line coach this year. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/17/bowmans-back-b-c-lions-hire-john-bowman-as-defensive-line-coach/ https://3downnation.com/2022/01/17/john-bowman-happy-to-start-coaching-career-with-lions-the-alouettes-dont-owe-me-anything/ ***** The Argos have named their coaching staff. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/19/argos-head-coach-ryan-dinwiddie-fills-out-coaching-staff-for-2022-season/ https://www.tsn.ca/toronto-argonauts-2022-coaching-staff-1.1747672 https://www.tsn.ca/corey-mace-new-toronto-argonauts-defensive-co-ordinator-1.1742671 ***** The East-West Shrine Bowl is tonight. Marcus Brady will be the West's head coach. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/19/argos-head-coach-ryan-dinwiddie-fills-out-coaching-staff-for-2022-season/ Kerry Joseph will be the East's QB coach. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/21/former-cfl-mop-grey-cup-champ-kerry-joseph-named-east-team-quarterbacks-coach-for-2022-shrine-bowl/ ***** Jim Barker has agreed to join the Argos' front office. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/21/former-gm-jim-barker-to-join-toronto-argonauts-front-office/ ***** The Redblacks have named their coaching staff. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/13/head-coach-paul-lapolice-unveils-ottawa-redblacks-2022-coaching-staff/ ***** The Elks have named their coaching staff. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/13/chris-jones-adds-pieces-to-2022-edmonton-elks-coaching-staff/ ***** The league has released the Scouting Bureau's Winter rankings. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/13/penn-state-lb-jesse-luketa-rises-to-top-of-winter-2022-cfl-scouting-bureau-rankings/ https://www.cbc.ca/sports/football/cfl/jalen-philpot-cfl-scouting-bureau-rankings-1.6314474 ***** The Redblacks have let go Dominique Davis and Kenny Stafford. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/13/ottawa-redblacks-sign-seven-release-twelve-including-dominique-davis/ ***** There has been a trade, which doesn't happen very often. The Elks traded DL Mike Moore to the Alouettes for OL Tony Washington and KR Martese Jackson. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/14/elks-trade-defensive-lineman-mike-moore-to-als-for-offensive-lineman-tony-washington/ ***** Gossip! https://3downnation.com/2022/02/02/insider-talk-cfl-free-agency-hamiltons-ratio-legal-tampering-window/ ***** Free Agent rankings Receivers https://3downnation.com/2022/02/02/2022-cfl-free-agent-rankings-receivers/ ***** David Letterman was seen yesterday wearing a Bombers Grey Cup Champions toque. https://3downnation.com/2022/02/02/legendary-talkshow-host-david-letterman-sports-winnipeg-blue-bombers-toque/ ***** Here is Dan Ralph's obituary of Don Sutherin. https://www.cbc.ca/sports/football/cfl/cfl-don-sutherin-grey-cup-champ-hall-of-famer-passes-away-1.6311400 ***** Jeff Reinebold and Anthonly Calvillo have agreed to join the Alouettes as their special teams co-ordinator and QB coach, respectively. https://www.tsn.ca/special-teams-co-ordinator-reinebold-leaving-ticats-after-seven-seasons-with-club-1.1740610 https://www.tsn.ca/jeff-reinebold-montreal-alouettes-1.1742576 https://www.tsn.ca/anthony-calvillo-montreal-alouettes-qb-coach-1.1742381

Otis Redding - Soul Manifesto (12 CDs) - $52.74 prime https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Manifesto-1964-1970-12CD-Redding/dp/B0143JNSNY/ $44.99 + $8.99 shipping at oldies.com

My Laurie (Yamagata, 1978) - 15:56, free https://artpepper.bandcamp.com/album/feb-freebie-track-4-yamagata-1978

Both Adarius Bowman and Manny Arcenaux have signed with the Elks. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/26/blast-from-the-past-elks-sign-adarius-bowman-manny-arceneaux/ https://www.cbc.ca/sports/football/cfl/elks-sign-all-star-receivers-bowman-arceneaux-1.6329065 ***** The Elks have let go Hugh O'Neil, among others. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/27/elks-release-punter-hugh-oneil-nine-others/ ***** Lemar Durant has signed with the Ticats. https://3downnation.com/2022/01/31/national-acquired-hamilton-tiger-cats-sign-receiver-lemar-durant/ ***** Free Agent rankings Quarterbacks https://3downnation.com/2022/01/31/2022-cfl-free-agent-rankings-quarterbacks/ Running Backs https://3downnation.com/2022/02/01/2022-cfl-free-agent-rankings-running-backs/

What is it about people who repair shoes that makes them so good at cutting keys?