DTMX

Give peace a chance my ass.

Mother, aunt, babymamasistercousin - it's all the same person. My best friend's a drummer. He brings his drumsticks wherever we go so we can park in the handicapped spaces. /inching toward the 500 post mark, one smartass comment at a time...

And a fourth to tell the other three that Blue Note is still sitting on some unreleased tapes that will probably be on a Mosaic Select edition in a few years.

The bulb that the drummer can change if the roadie hauls it in, unpacks it, sets it up, tunes the heads, and adjusts the mics for him.

Good one! How many Organissimo posters does it take to change a light bulb? Two - one to change the light bulb and the other to tell the first that the RVG light bulb is going to be so much better when it's released next year.

I sent these jokes (and a few more) to a friend of mine who is a professional drummer. He forwarded them to his church's drummer and the guy went completely apeshit (please excuse the evolutionary metaphor). Every musician I know likes collecting jokes that pertain to their respective instruments. This guy's the only exception I've ever heard of. Anyone else found an amateur/professional musician that reacted to a joke like it was an insult about their mother?

Sadly, the name Old Fart has already been taken. Available at a Kroger supermarket near you.

Now is the time on "Sprockets" when we dance!

Half Note Records Which is only half as prestigous as being on Blue Note.

Thanks for the mammaries.

I don't think this name's come up - Charlie Rich. I know, I know. But the Feel Like Going Home: The Essential Charlie Rich 2 CD set is just amazing, particularly the material recorded at Sun Studios. On NPR, Sam Phillips said the best song he ever recorded was Rich's Don't Put No Headstone on My Grave. Some songs get a little countripolitan at times but there's enough soul on the other material to even it out. And Rich's last recording, Pictures and Paintings, made for a great swansong. Amazon's review follows: On Pictures and Paintings, Charlie Rich got the chance before he died to make the jazz record he always had in him, though of course, this is Charlie Rich, so even when he's doing Duke Ellington's "Mood Indigo," it's never just jazz. Always a singer's singer, Rich slides gracefully here - in the same song, sometimes even in the same phrase - from jazz and blues to pop and gospel, his gruff vocals straining, sighing, tearing, pausing, living in these songs until you'll swear you've lived them too. Backed by a swinging combo that includes his own Stan Getz-influenced piano, Rich is flawless throughout, whether he's laying down a definitive "Am I Blue" or revisiting his own "Feel Like Going Home." --David Cantwell

When Branford Marsalis played Atlanta a couple of years ago, the last song of the night was The Impaler. Tain was playing so hard that he broke his bass drum pedal in the middle of the song. They tried to fix it but couldn't so the encore ended up being a simple blues jam (with greatly subdued drums).

I suspected as much... The real eating disorder.

I think Anthony Braxton has played the instrument on the left.

From the movie Sling Blade: Frank Wheatley: I don't like potted meat. Daddy used to say they was made out of lips, peckers and intestines.

I read that the one with the eating disorder was doing it so her sister would be labeled "the fat one". I read a lot of shit.

Forever immortalized in animation.

When visiting the boss' house, you eat whatever his wife puts in front of you (no matter how many eyes are looking back at you from the bowl). And in Japan, you don't get a napkin to spit into (so carry many hankerchiefs and fake a cold so you can always have one in your hand). Another tip: Japanese meals usually consist of small servings of many different foods and/or atrocities. When served a dish of squid entrails, fake taking a bite (everyone else will be too busy digging in to notice the food never actually left the chopsticks). Then hog the conversation by telling stories or something so everyone else will eat while you talk. With luck, they'll eat the gross stuff and not leave you any. But when something edible hits the table, shut up and eat. Sometimes this works, sometimes not. More than a few nights nothing decent came around and I had to finish a 3 hour meal by filling up on Ritz crackers in my hotel. Still, wouldn't have missed the experience for anything. And love Japanese food, just not crazy about eyeballs on the plate.

The little podunk town of Honjo (big shoutout to Saitama Prefecture!) in Japan had three restaurants in which I could order by merely pointing to a picture of the food. One was a McD's, the other two were a Denny's and KFC, side-by-side. I used to walk a couple of miles to Denny's for breakfast, then walk a couple more over to McD's for lunch, then back to KFC for dinner - weekends only (for 9 weeks). Weekdays were the company cafeteria and 7-11.

September 15th, 2004 LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Johnny Ramone, guitarist and co-founder of the seminal punk band "The Ramones," has died. He was 55. Ramone died in his sleep Wednesday afternoon at his Los Angeles home surrounded by friends and family, his publicist said. He had battled prostate cancer for five years, and was hospitalized in June at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Ramone, born John Cummings, was one of the original members of the Ramones, whose hit songs "I Wanna be sedated" and "Blitzkrieg Bop," among others, earned the band induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2002. The band's singer, Joey Ramone, whose real name was Jeff Hyman, died in 2001 of lymphatic cancer. Bassist Dee Dee Ramone, who was born Douglas Colvin, died from a drug overdose in 2002. Johnny Ramone founded "The Ramones" in 1974 with Joey Ramone, DeeDee Ramone and Tommy Ramone, the only surviving member of the original band. A tribute concert and cancer research fund raiser was held Sunday in Los Angeles to celebrate the band's 30th anniversary. It featured performances by Los Angeles punk band X, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Henry Rollins and others. Along with his wife, Linda Cummings, Johnny Ramone was surrounded at his death by friends Eddie and Jill Vedder, and Rob and Sherrie Zombie. Other friends who gathered at his Los Angeles home included Lisa Marie Presley, Pete Yorn, Vincent Gallo and Talia Shire.

Japanese Food: 1. Boiled pig intestines with buckwheat dumplings - both of them the identical shade of gray. 2. Liquified squid, innards and all (hold the ink), blenderized into applesauce-like consistancy and served in a small bowl (as an appetizer). 3. Natto: not exactly sure what it is but I suspect it's fermented soybeans mixed with some kind of turd.

I've been going to the same barber since I was 5 years old and haven't tipped him in 35 years - of course I do have to supply my own bowl.

Suspects still at large, presumed adorable.

"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk? Arf!"

Find out who George is putting money on for the World Series this year - I hear it's a lock.