DTMX

I write the occasional Amazon review while I'm listening through headphones at work; at least then I can feel like I accomplished something by the end of the day. I try to review the recordings that don't have any or many reviews. I also only review the recordings I really like so most of my reviews are 5 stars - I could give some 1 stars reviews but Kenny Geez has so many 5 star reviews that my 1 star review wouldn't pull the average down enough to make it worth my bile. My reviews and my Listmania lists.

The last name wasn't Cumstein was it?

From the font of wisdom that is Fark.com: Is it ok if I keep referring to her as Skankerly McDirtysnatch? ------ The name Esther is derived from the Persian name Satarah, meaning "star". What's the Persian name for "Has been?" BTW, does she still have the British accent? Esther, you are from Michigan, for Christ sake! ------ Is it ok if I keep referring to her as Skankerly McDirtysnatch? Well if you want to be respectful of her wishes, you will call her Esther McDirtysnatch. ------ Fred Sanford: "Esther, you're so ugly I'm going to stamp your face in dough and make gorilla cookies." ------ Calling her Irrelevant would be more accurate. ------ How cool will it sound to ask your friends if they're going to the Esther concert? ------ Considering how well her career is going lately, Madonna is soon going to be known as "Who?"

If Madonna wants to take on a name that means something, she should try that term of endearment that's all the rage in Colorado.

One of our engineers was ultra-rightwing conspiracy theorist who had developed a local rep for calling local talk radio shows and venting on-air. He was also very paranoid and was against whales because he felt they were liberal (no, I don't know why, and yes, he really said that). This was in the late 80's, about the time that Yasir Arafat and the PLO declared its intention of forming an Arab state of Palestine - and he had voiced his opposition to this on the radio, the office, and anywhere he could find an audience. We worked in a lab that had a door that opened to the area behind the building. One day while he was working in the lab I walked in behind him, looked out the door and remarked what beautiful day it was - then slipped an obstruction into the lock to keep the door from automatically locking. I don't even think he knew I was there. So I go to work and after a while the president of the company pulls the outside door open (not enough to reveal himself), yells "ALLAH AKBAR! ALLAH AKBAR!", and rolls a dud grenade into the lab, slamming the door behind him. Conspiracy Guy slowly looks up, looks around the room, sees the grenade, and bolts for the door and he's gone. He may have kicked over the stool he was sitting on, I don't remember. We have a good chuckle, then we go looking for him. Found him in the smoking area, puffing furiously. "You okay?" "Yeah." "You ran out of there pretty fast." "Yeah." "Didn't you think it was it was pretty implausible that Islamic fundamentalists would be tossing grenades in an officepark in the middle of suburbia?" "Well - I've got a lot of enemies out there." That was in 1988/89 - I don't know how that prank would go over today. Probably all the engineers in the room would have been running for the door. He was ahead of his time.

About 17 years ago I was working for a small company of about 25 people. There was a manager ('Jay') who was constantly complaining about how he didn't get any respect and that the company couldn't get along without him, etc... One day his director came around taking up donations for Jay's birthday gift - a stripper. The money flowed, as did the ideas. What we ended up doing was having the stripper come in as a job applicant for Jay's department. Allegedly, she was being sent down from corporate headquarters for a courtesy interview before being laid off. While Jay was complaining about having to interview someone for a job that didn't exist, we (the engineers) set up the interview environment. First, we halved the size of the conference room by extending one of those flexible floor-to-ceiling screens across the room. On our side of the screen we set up a TV and VCR; on the other side we put a live video camera in a pile of audio/video equipment that was normally in the room. We piled stuff on the conference table so that they would be forced to sit in camera range - we knew Jay would not check out the room before the interview and would just drop his sadsack ass in the first available chair. When the "applicant" came in we took her boombox (aka tape player) and whisked it to the conference room, setting it under the table near the second available chair. We also gave her a fake resume and letter of recommendation. Then we scattered. Jay was summoned, introductions made, and they went into the conference room, closing the door behind them. The rest of the company (except the receptionist) went to the TV side of the conference room (different door) so we could see and hear Jay doing his interview. The first thing Jay does is start complaining about how late he worked the night before, how early he comes in, how his director doesn't appreciate him, how the company couldn't survive without him - pure comedy gold. The whole rest of the company was on the other side of the screen stifling our laughter. Jay kept complaining. Then he starts complaining about how his wife and children don't respect him and how he does so much for them and they don't appreciate it, etc... Then he tells the "applicant" that he's not sure if her qualifications would be suitable for his department. She says something like "maybe this will change your mind". She pulls out the boombox, hits 'play', and starts taking her clothes off. Jay just freezes in his chair - he looked like an agoraphobe on a roller coaster. Eventually she ends up sitting in his lap, singing to him or something, and he was just frozen in pure possum panic - not moving, speaking, or breathing. We were dying on the other side of the screen - we couldn't laugh or we'd blow our cover so everyone was doubled over and crying. I told Jay's director, "Go around, go around" and he ran out our door, down the hallway, composed himself, and opened the other conference room door. "Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!!!". Jay yelled "I didn't do anything! I swear!". Then we pulled back the curtain and yelled 'SURPRISE!" I thought he was going to have a stroke or something. After a while, we got him calmed down, had some birthday cake, and gave the videotape we'd made to his wife. She loved it. That was one of the greatest days of my life.

Check out Spaulding's Blues Nexus - he's got a version of Mobley's "Soul Station" that just burns.

Damn. I've lived in Georgia my entire life, grew up listening to Ray Charles, and only last night did I try sounding out the chords to Georgia On My Mind on the piano. Couldn't quite get it so I went out and bought the sheet music this afternoon, came home, turned on the TV and heard the news. Damn. David "Fathead" Newman related a story once to the effect that in 1964 when he told Ray Charles that he was leaving his band to go solo Ray Charles told him "You sure? You do know I'm booked through 2000, don't you?". Or something like that.

Just found out about this one yesterday, it's already on its way.

"Apparently he was able to link the novel word to the novel item based on exclusion learning, either because he knew that the familiar items already had names or because they were not novel" Shee-it, the dog reads novels too? Does Go Dog Go count as a novel?

Kenny Geez Amazon.com reviews: G Force 5 Stars: May The G-Force Be Witcha, Baby!... Reviewer: Ferrara Brain Pan from Frisco, Baby This is without a doubt The Greatest Record Of All Time... Yoda sez: Greatest record, it is not. Classics in the Key of G 5 Stars: Mindnumbing Brilliance... Reviewer: Ferrara Brain Pan from Frisco, Baby This is without a doubt The Greatest Record Of All Time... DTMX: Only one of those two words in the 5 Star description is applicable. Kenny G Live 5 Stars: Pure Adrenalin... Reviewer: Ferrara Brain Pan from Frisco, Baby This is without a doubt The Greatest Record Of All Time... DTMX: Frisco Kid's thesaurus lists "adrenalin" as a synonym for "narcolepsy" ------------------ Other reviews for Kenny G Live 5 Stars: I highly recommend listening to it at bedtime To those who don't like Kenny G if you don't like it then don't buy it, and don't whine it was your own stupidity for buying it why make Kenny G fans mad because of your stupidity and The only album from Kenny that in my opinion has a great musical value

Time to break out Zorn's Filmworks, Volumes 1 & 3.

Looks like J-Hole's romancing and marrying her way through the alphabet starting at the A's. Morrie Amsterdam missed his opening.

My first thought...

Proof that there is a God. A God that hates Creed.

How many beads can you get for a quarter?

Words fail me. Creed sucks.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Knock, knock. Who's there? Knock, knock. Who's there? Knock, knock. Who's there? Knock, knock. Who's there? Knock, knock. Who's there? Knock, knock. Who's there? Philip Glass.

lauper verb: to suffer the most humiliating onstage indignity, yet keep on performing. "My reed split on me but I was able to lauper through the rest of the set."

Her music has always left a bad taste in my mouth as well.

At least it was a female chicken. A male chicken - well, that's just nasty.

As soon as Cops is over, this DVD is going in.

It opens Friday. I might go see it Sunday.

Thomas Chapin Trio Plus Strings: Haywire. Haven't been able to dislodge it from the CD changer all month.

My dentist plays country music and once took his office staff to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. I get my tooth cleaned every six months, even if it don't need it.