Jim Alfredson Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 http://theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4038&n=1 So many great quotes from this story!!! I almost spit my milk through my nose reading this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
couw Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 what an utterly boring cover! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noj Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 "sets the new standard for trite crapola" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Alfredson Posted September 22, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 My favorite quote from the article: "We wanted to give our fans exactly what they've come to expect: music so inoffensive and indistinct that it could be played virtually anywhere—a bank lobby, an SUV stuck in traffic, a party full of aging stockbrokers and their girlfriends. That's no small task. Even a lot of the most vacant and unimaginative people have some capacity to actively engage in the music they're listening to." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 What? No mention of the sound of the guy's voice being like a male-Alanis-Morrisette? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe G Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 My favorite: The release has been eagerly awaited by Matchbox Twenty's enormous fan base, composed of American record buyers who have a limited interest in music but enjoy the act of shopping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 There was a similar problem, band members said, with the guitar solos, some of which contained trace elements of what musicians call "passion." In addition, the interplay among bass, drums, and guitars occasionally produced uncomfortable polyrhythmic effects that provoked unintentional toe-tapping or head-bobbing in listeners. The problems were fixed through extensive re-recording. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHILLYQ Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 Great post, B-3r, I'm still laughing- here's a section I really liked: "That album proved what record executives have known for years: It's actually very difficult to record a rock record that has no rock in it at all. But with this new release, Matchbox Twenty has really delivered on its signature non-sound." A rock record with no rock! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzypaul Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 I can't believe I'm gonna say this, and please don't flog me... Bright Lights was (and is) a fucking great song. The rest of their recorded output deserved this article like nothing else I have ever seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Alfredson Posted September 23, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 I've always hated the way that guy sings. Or should I say: Ah've ahwayz hayted the way-ee that guy sin-gs. Master of the dipthong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris olivarez Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 Wickedly funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GregK Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 What? No mention of the sound of the guy's voice being like a male-Alanis-Morrisette? that comparison is enough of a wicked insult itself!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 I've always hated the way that guy sings. Or should I say: Ah've ahwayz hayted the way-ee that guy sin-gs. Master of the dipthong. Yeah, straight from the Morrissey school of "I'm-so-cold-and-I'm-shivering-in-my-loneliness" sung like he's in a perpetual state of "I'm about to sneeze." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzypaul Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 I've always hated the way that guy sings. Or should I say: Ah've ahwayz hayted the way-ee that guy sin-gs. Master of the dipthong. Yeah, straight from the Morrissey school of "I'm-so-cold-and-I'm-shivering-in-my-loneliness" sung like he's in a perpetual state of "I'm about to sneeze." Al, I like you...don't start rippin' on the Mozz...things could get ugly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejp626 Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 Does anyone remember this parody/spoof from 2003? It sounded so in character that thousands (millions?) believed it was true. Metallica Sue Canadian Band over E, F Chords 07.15.2003 1:55 PM EDT MONTREAL — Metallica are taking legal action against independant Canadian rock band Unfaith over what they feel is unsanctioned usage of two chords the band has been using since 1982 : E and F. "People are going to get on our case again for this, but try to see it from our point of view just once," stated Metallica's Lars Ulrich. "We're not saying we own those two chords, individually - that would be ridiculous. We're just saying that in that specific order, people have grown to associate E, F with our music." Metallica filed a trademark infringement suit against the indie group at the US district court for central California on Monday. According to the drummer, the continued use of the two chords causes "confusion, deception and mistake in the minds of the public". Metallica's lawyer, Jill Pietrini, told us that the band decided to take legal action only after first sending a letter of complaint to the Canadian band's singer/songwriter, Erik Ashley. "It's just a matter of a band having the right to protect the chords it uses. I couldn't start up my own soft drink company using the exact same formula as Coca-Cola. "We sent a demand letter and haven't reached a resolution, so we had to sue," she said. "They continue to shamelessly feature the two chords on their website song samples and we just can't have that." Ashley, in the meantime, is still shocked by the entire story, and hasn't yet decided how the band will respond. "I thought it was a prank at first," he told us. "Now I'm not sure what to think." Ulrich states that he's not trying to prevent Unfaith from using the two chords, only that he feels Metallica should be credited for them whenever used, and is calling for 50% of all revenue generated from any song using them. "It's nothing personal against them," he added. "We intend to enforce our rights with any band intending to use Metallica-branded chords in the future." This marks the first time anything of this kind has ever been tried in court, and it will be interesting to see how things develop. Metallica's website has issued an official statement on the suit here. Unfaith's official website hasn't officially responded at print time. —Joe D'Angelo Here's some follow-up to the hoax that I hadn't read before: Judging by many of the posted messages, Metallica's yen for lawsuits helped the spoof take wing. "I'm not sure what's worse, that the story is a fake, or that it was actually conceivable that Metallica would do that," said one boarder with the nickname TANSTAAFL. That was part of Ashley's motivation. "We all know about the Napster issue, the perfume company, the tire makers, Metallica has sued them all," he said. "The idea behind this parody was to gauge just how much their reputation has suffered as a result of the suits. Would people go so far as to believe that something this extraordinary, this outlandish, could conceivably be true?" Apparently so. A spokesperson for the band's record label, Elektra, declined to comment. While Ashley's ruse was clever, it was not impossible to detect. Neither the MTV story nor the supposed Metallica response were hosted on the network's or band's own servers, but were distributed from Ashley's ScoopThis.com server. And a quick review of songs available on Unfaith's official Web site (actually just Ashley's one-man band) would make even a casual listener skeptical of Ulrich's supposed claim of "confusion" and "deception." Whereas Metallica sings about dark themes like death and suicide in songs like "Sanitarium," "Kill 'em All," and "Unforgiven," Unfaith's pop-rock tunes feature decidedly un-Metallica lyrics like "I wanna be Jesus now/Let me be your Jesus now" over techno and guitar-flavored riffs. A quick search of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office's online database turned up registrations for Metallica branded footballs, Metallica-branded sweatshirts and sunglasses — but no "Metallica-branded chords." And, as one legal expert told Courttv.com, Ashley's notion that the E-F chord progression constituted trademark infringement, rather than copyright infringement, may not have stood up in court, either. Such a song structure issue "typically in the province of copyright law, which relates to any type of artistic expression fixed in a tangible medium," said Michael Friedman, an entertainment/intellectual property partner with the New York firm Jenkens & Gilchrist Parker Chapin. Still, the scheme was clever enough to work, largely because Ashley carefully reproduced the design templates used by the MTV.com and Metallica Web sites. To the casual observer, the sites were indistinguishable from the real ones. "Getting all of the links working was the hardest part," he said. "If you click on the option to post on the MTV.com message board about this story, the link would actually take you there to the real thing." Ashley even quoted himself in the fake MTV.com story. "I thought it was a prank at first," he had himself say, playing David to Metallica's Goliath. "Now I'm not sure what to think." One might think Ashley's publicity would spur his budding music career, but he calls it just a "hobby." Ashley says he plans to concentrate on his design gig instead, and that the spoof will probably end up costing him money in bandwidth. But it's a fair trade-off for him. "I may be reaching here, but I wouldn't put it past Lars to actually approve of the parody because it exposes the Internet for what it is," he said, meaning the kind of place where even legitimate news sites might run with the story without a second thought. "The real irony," said Ashley, "is that none of our songs use E and F in that order." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 I've always hated the way that guy sings.  Or should I say: Ah've ahwayz hayted the way-ee that guy sin-gs. Master of the dipthong. Yeah, straight from the Morrissey school of "I'm-so-cold-and-I'm-shivering-in-my-loneliness" sung like he's in a perpetual state of "I'm about to sneeze." Al, I like you...don't start rippin' on the Mozz...things could get ugly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERIGAN Posted September 25, 2004 Report Share Posted September 25, 2004 I liked a few songs from their debut(or whatever it was) back in the 90's, but can't recall what songs they were! So, I won't defend them that hard....They do seem to have sold out nicely though.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted September 25, 2004 Report Share Posted September 25, 2004 (edited) FWIW, as much as I can't stand Matchbox 20, it seems that theirs is a unique sound, for better and worse. I mean, you hear a song of theirs, and you know instantly it's Matchbox 20, and it has everything to do with that guy's voice. Sorta like hearing a Rod Stewart song. Now if you wanna talk about dreadful corporate cookie-cutter "rock," how about groups like Nickelback, Incubus, Three Doors Down, etc etc etc that all sound like Load-era Metallica? They all have the same sludgy guitars, droning basses, plodding drums, and a guy whose voice screams like he wishes he were as cool as James Hetfield once was. If anyone knows how to tell these groups apart, could ya tell me? Matchbox 20, while a worthy target, has at least their own sound going for them. Which ain't much, BTW. Edited September 25, 2004 by Big Al Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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