Big Beat Steve Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 (edited) it's just, she has a problem when brass instruments appear, when guitars are not played properly (notably includes playing single note lines) Sounds familiar too ... but what do you (or your girlfriend mean by "guitars not played properly"? Is playing single note lines "proper" or isn't it? Actually, though, these two details are something that are specific to women IMHO. Even many MEN who have been raised on ROCK would sort of shy away from clean-cut single-note guitar solos à la Farlow/Raney/Kessel etc. that don't come with the usual reverb/buzz/distortion/overampliciation or other gimmicks as done by countless rock guitarists ever since the hard rock/classic rock era that started in the late 60s/early 70s. Same for horns in the front line (the emasculated pop tweeting of Curtis Stigers and the like doesn't count, of course ). Horn-led ensembles or solos (instead of guitar-led sounds) still seem to puzzle a lot of men who aren't really familiar with jazz. And high-note trumpets or deep-down baritone saxes are a No-No not only with many women either. Edited December 8, 2008 by Big Beat Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niko Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 (edited) it's just, she has a problem when brass instruments appear, when guitars are not played properly (notably includes playing single note lines) Sounds familiar too ... but what do you (or your girlfriend mean by "guitars not played properly"? Is playing single note lines "proper" or isn't it? she is a pretty good "folk-style" guitar player and finds indeed that raney-style guitar players don't use the instrument the right way (must admit, i can't really understand this) - guess she feels a really good guitar player should play several melodies at once or the like... don't think she has a problem with the tone (because at heart she is an acoustic guitarist) (besides, she is always pissed when she hears people in rock bands who are not at her level techincally but don't have to do a sillly job like her) she did like the elek bascik jazz in paris disc, for instance... concerning brass players, i think a single, not overly brassy trumpet player is ok with her (like she had to watch "the glenn miller story" at school years ago and said something along the lines "the guy is all the time trying to improve the sound of the band, but it's obvious that the sound cannot improve if you triple all the instruments nobody wants to hear so that they completely overpower the better instruments such as guitar, piano, clarinet...") (but as i mentioned above, she did acknowledge that the edelhagen band we watched on tv was a tremendously tight band technically (and that bora rokovic was an amazing piano player)... shake keane's solos she didn't like at all though) Edited December 8, 2008 by Niko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Storer Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Niko, your girlfriend may not share all your tastes in music, but as a musician herself she is obviously far more musically sophisticated than the average listener! Most hardcore music fans would not be able to engage in such detailed conversation about the nuts and bolts with their S.O. Consider yourself lucky! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man with the Golden Arm Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 (edited) Unless the sex is extraordinary, dump the girl. Not only does she mostly reject music that is very important to you, that whole "needs to talk" thing is a major warning sign of neediness. Lose the girl, keep your testicles. Or vice versa, its your call. Music will get you through times with no women, better than women will get you through times with no pot ... I mean music! "sound advice" Edited December 8, 2008 by Man with the Golden Arm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blajay Posted December 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Needy issues got overwhelming, and perhaps it was evident in the tone of my first post on this topic. I did actually break up with her this weekend. Don't worry, no comment on the thread made me do it, it was a long time coming. I have good headphones, and an ipod, but when I'm home, I just want to listen to a record through speakers, you know? I'll try the headphones more though when the roomie has his band around to meet on weeknights. Aren't there some women on this board that would be pretty put off at some of these assumptions? It is obviously unfair to assume that an entire sex does not appreciate jazz. Although my mom does say that Jazz "is a man thing." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hot Ptah Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Most men I know do not like or appreciate jazz, either. It's just that if you are acquainted with someone or a friend of someone, and they don't like something you like, it's easier to carve that out of your association, compared to what it's like to resolve the situation when you are in a romantic relationship with a woman--in my experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Jay, I think it will all work out for the best. Now you just need to find someone who is going to respect your interests and needs. You don't have to find someone who wants to listen with you, but someone who won't take it personally that you need to listen occasionally. Next thing you need to do though is talk to the roommate about alternative places to hang with the band. That's only fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blajay Posted December 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Thanks Dan, I appreciate it. My roomate actually told me last night that they are looking into spaces to rent for the band, so that should also help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niko Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 (edited) Niko, your girlfriend may not share all your tastes in music, but as a musician herself she is obviously far more musically sophisticated than the average listener! Most hardcore music fans would not be able to engage in such detailed conversation about the nuts and bolts with their S.O. Consider yourself lucky! oh, i definitely do consider myself lucky (actually, often enough i feel she understands the music i love better than me, she just doesn't like it - guess we couldn't be more different as listeners (and musicians, too)) (funny incident a few hours ago; we're about to start a new band together with a few other people, jazz fans, and she honestly told me "it's not what i really want to do but a jazz band would perfectly be ok with me")(and i said i don't want to hear myself soloing over night in tunisia, and i guess i'm with pretty much anybody who has his senses together on this... no jazz band, definitely - hope we can convince the others) will never forget living without a roommate for the first time. this feeling of going to the toilet thinking "it's only 100 euro more a month and you don't have to share it with anybody" - priceless, i waited far too long Edited December 8, 2008 by Niko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clifford_thornton Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Well... Jay, you seem like a pretty nice guy. However, I'll note this: that only one of the women I've dated has not liked jazz. Few of them knew anything about it or were interested in it before getting to know me. So I think that working on a way to communicate/share your interests with a prospective partner is a good thing. You and I spoken through email before, so I know you have diverse scholastic interests that you seem to be applying to jazz (or v.v.). Surely you can meet a woman in the Bay Area who digs interesting music, scholarship, independence and YOU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teasing the Korean Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 (edited) Aren't there some women on this board that would be pretty put off at some of these assumptions? It is obviously unfair to assume that an entire sex does not appreciate jazz. Although my mom does say that Jazz "is a man thing." One female member of this board has commented to me privately about the male-dominated aspects of this site. I won't name her, but I will add that her contributions are INVALUABLE, and I wish she would post more often. I used to date a woman who had an impressive jazz collection, along with Russ Meyer films on VHS and an original copy of Les Baxter's soundtrack to the biker flick "Hell's Belles" on American International. Not to mention some Kenyon Hopkins albums that had eluded me. I knew right away I had to marry her. We merged the record collections and traded in the duplicates for store credit at such fine establishments as my beloved Stereo Jack's. She loves it ALL, even the really out stuff (no smooth jazz though, thank God). Don't mean to gloat, but these women are out there, believe me. Edited December 9, 2008 by Teasing the Korean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papsrus Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 (edited) Don't mean to gloat, but these women are out there, believe me. Yes. Most club dates I've been to (admittedly, not a lot, but still ...) bears this out. EDIT: Wait a minute!! They're out at the clubs while we're in here typing. Edited December 9, 2008 by papsrus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuartjewkes Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 My fiancee strongly dislikes modern jazz but has learnt to live with it. In the same way I find the vast majority of the films that she enjoys to be dross but I've learnt to live with it. When she's watching a crap film I can read a magazine or a novel. When I'm listening to Braxton at high volume she can have a bath or read a book in the other room etc. It's just give and take as far as I'm concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcello Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 I'm building a new house with a music room / library for myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papsrus Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 ... When I'm listening to Braxton at high volume she can have a bath ... Given the duration of some of Braxton's works, this may very well lead to premature wrinkling. Just sayin' ... I'm building a new house with a music room / library for myself. This seems a bit extreme. But I guess if you've tried all the other alternatives ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillF Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 ... When I'm listening to Braxton at high volume she can have a bath ... Given the duration of some of Braxton's works, this may very well lead to premature wrinkling. Just sayin' ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuartjewkes Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I made her listen to 2 cds of Ayler straight the other week and she didn't see too perturbed. She even commented that some of it was quite pretty! And then throughout Ghosts told me that I play the theme on my sax better than Albert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hot Ptah Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 My fiancee strongly dislikes modern jazz but has learnt to live with it. In the same way I find the vast majority of the films that she enjoys to be dross but I've learnt to live with it. When she's watching a crap film I can read a magazine or a novel. When I'm listening to Braxton at high volume she can have a bath or read a book in the other room etc. It's just give and take as far as I'm concerned. That worked for me for about 15 years, then it didn't any more. She got tired of it, finally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_forumlogo.png.a607ef20a6e0c299ab2aa6443aa1f32e.png)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.