The Flatulance Thread

[kenny weir]

I bought a bag of beans on Monday - cute little thingies about 1/3 the size of a kidney bean. They were called American beans - something I've never seen before.

I soaked about a cup and a 1/2 overnight.

Next day I browned off a chorizo sausage.

Then in the the sausage fat and a little olive oil I sauteed for a while some onions-garlic-carrot-celery.

Then I threw in the beans, the sausage pieces, salt and papper, parsley, a couple of bay leaves, chicken stock.

A few hours later the result was an outstanding, (even if I do say so myself) rustic, hearty soup/stew. Just great with crusty bread.

But the aftermath was still, er, rather gaseous. And believe me - these beans WERE cooked. Any more time on the stove and the whole lot would have become mush.

So what's the score here? I don't cook legumes all that often, but I do love 'em. Pretty healthy and certainly cheap.

But is there no way of avoiding the side effects?

Edited November 6, 2003 by kenny weir

[connoisseur series500]

Although I am known to dally with scatological subjects from time to time, no one can blame me for starting this one. -_-

Nuts and milk products are the big methane-producers for my system. Wouldn't get near Kenny's culinary concoction. B)

[chris olivarez]

There may be a way out of your- ahem!!! dilemma but I'm not for sure on that,The way you described the meal sounded pretty good and Damn i didn't know you could get chorizo in Austraila. I wouldn't feel to guilty or embarrased about it if I were you but if you're planning on having it again anytime soon just allow yourself some space so you can avoid the social ramifications.

[jacman]

i smell your pain. i made hummus again, lotsa garlic...my family shuns me.

[jacman]

BTW KW, a few drops of Beano will proly do the trick.

[kenny weir]

BTW KW, a few drops of Beano will proly do the trick.

Beano! Yech - sounds like liquid smoke or some such.

Actually, the bean side effects don't really bother me, but I'd avoid them if I could.

Garlic? I remember back in my long gone boyhood days in (culinary bleak) deep south New Zealand - days when garlic was as exotic as hell and you could definitely tell who'd been chomping on it.

These days, in multicultural multiculinary Melbourne, I reckon just about everybody eats garlic every day, so it's the norm.

[Jazzmoose]

I've tried the Beano, but it didn't help me. I love beans, and as Kenny says, they are healthy to boot, but once I hit 45, it became too much. Forget the smell of what escaped, the gas that remained in my system actually became painful. I'm afraid I'm done for, and with my fantastic baked bean recipe to boot...

[Rooster_Ties]

i smell your pain.

[vibes]

[Claude]

Now I understand why the US won't sign the Kyoto Protocol?

[jacman]

Beano! Yech - sounds like liquid smoke or some such.

nope, it has no taste and adds no flavor to the food. here's a link to their site:

fart no more

it works for some, i guess it doesn't work on Moose.

[Jazzmoose]

Yeah, Moose farts are particularly noxious...just ask the Mrs. !

[Soulstation1]

[Soulstation1]

check out this site

you can actually play the organ

http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/games/farting-nun.html

[Rooster_Ties]

check out this site

you can actually play the organ

http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/games/farting-nun.html

Now I've seen everything!!

[Jazzmoose]

Breaks the wind, er...ice at smelly parties!

[catesta]

Dang! How did I miss this thread?

You can all expect a full report after lunch.

[Soulstation1]

[slide_advantage_redoux]

There is one way to reduce the gaseous effects of beans. Soak the beans before cooking, and before you start to cook them, pour off the old water and replace it. That does seem to help. A Mexican neighbor hipped me to that technique.

I am happy to pass it along.

[Jazzmoose]

Hard to believe that this thread is so short on this board...

[LAL]

Try soaking the beans for a day or more, replacing the water 1x or 2x and cook them for at least 2-3 hours on high (6-7 in a slow cooker). That might help.

I consume a fair bit of all kinds of legumes - don't get much 'wind', but not completely free either.

[catesta]

You guys are taking most of the fun out of beans.

Pasta e Fagioli a.k.a. Pasta Fazul is a winner at my house.

[Rooster_Ties]

this thread stinks.

[MartyJazz]

Time for a flatulence joke (with political overtones):

Two Israelis are in an elevator when the doors open and a Palestinian gets on. After the doors close, the Palestinian farts loudly. The doors open again and the Palestinian gets off. One Jew looks at the other,

wipes his brow and says, "Thank God! Must have been a dud!"