jazzbo Posted April 2, 2004 Report Share Posted April 2, 2004 Here's one. . . . Love the stories of Vaudville days: Once we were on the bill with Fanny Brice. I'm sure a lot of you remember Fanny Brice. She was quite a performer, and on the bill, too, was an act called Swayne's Rats and Cats, and you wouldn't believe that, but that was the name of the act. And they had a miniature race track on the stage, and the rats were dressed as jockeys and the cats were horses. It was an incredible act, imagine teaching these...these rats and cats to learn all this, and they wore the uniforms, too. And one day while they were doing the act, there was a scream came from Fanny's dressingroom, and Swayne ran in there. And he had a turkish towel with him, I don't know what he gonna... Fanny Brice was standing on a chair, frightened a bit, got her clothes a-way up. Swayne grabs this rat - it wasn't one of the rats from his act. This was a sewer rat that had gotten into the theater. Swayne captures this sewer rat, and the next year we played on the bill with Swayne again, and this rat was now the star of the show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzbo Posted April 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2004 Another: One day while Groucho Marx was working in his garden (dressed in well-worn gardening attire), a wealthy woman pulled up in a Cadillac and endeavored to persuade the "gardener" to come and work for her. "How much does the lady of the house pay you?" she asked. "Oh, I don't get paid in dollars." Groucho replied, glancing up. "The lady of the house just a lets me sleep with her." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzbo Posted April 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2004 In his capacity as a comedian on "You Bet Your Life" Groucho Marx interviewed many of the show's participants. He once met a certain Mrs. Story, who claimed to have given birth to twenty-two children. "I love my husband." Mrs. Story said by way of explanation. "I like my cigar, too," Groucho replied, "but I take it out once in a while!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catesta Posted April 2, 2004 Report Share Posted April 2, 2004 Thought this one was funny. Groucho Marx once sent a telegram to the exclusive Friar's Club in Hollywood: "Please accept my resignation," it read. "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 Always loved this pun from Duck Soup: Margaret Dumont: What's that music? Groucho: Sounds like mice. MD: Mice?!? Mice don't play music! Groucho: Oh? How 'bout the old mice-tro? Or this from Cocoanuts: Groucho: Now over here's the levee. Chico: That'sa da Jewish neighborhood. Groucho: Well, we'll pass over that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe G Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas... How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know. We tried to remove the tusks, but they were too firmly embedded. Of course, in Alabama, the Tuskaloosa. Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas. Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. ...and one for our aesthetics discussions: Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 "Do you have everything?" "I haven't had any complaints so far...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Drake Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 If you don't like it you can leave in a huff....and if that's too quick for you, you can leave in a minute and a huff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe G Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 Doh! I hadn't seen Sangrey's signature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 If you don't like it you can leave in a huff....and if that's too quick for you, you can leave in a minute and a huff. D'you realize you haven't stopped talking since I got here? You must've been vaccinated with a phonograph needle! *********** MD: Good heavens! You can't go with your trousers up. Groucho: They'll never catch them any other way. *********** "And I've been saying since I first commenced it, I'm against it!" (Though taken from a picture, it seems like that was more autobiographical than anything else) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzmoose Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 I haven't seen a Marx Brothers movie in years, but the one scene that stands out fondly in my memory is the one with Groucho, and if I remember right, Chico, arguing over a contract and finally discussing the sanity clause...wish I could remember it well enough to post it, but I'm sure I'd screw it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 Groucho - "and then I bagged six tigers" Mrs Rittenhouse - "Oh captain! Did you really catch six tigers?" Groucho - "I bagged em! I bagged em to go away but they hung around all afternoon. They were the most PERSISTENT tigers I've EVER seen." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Red Menace Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 I haven't seen a Marx Brothers movie in years, but the one scene that stands out fondly in my memory is the one with Groucho, and if I remember right, Chico, arguing over a contract and finally discussing the sanity clause...wish I could remember it well enough to post it, but I'm sure I'd screw it up. A NIGHT AT THE OPERA, comrade Moose!!! Should it ever appear again on DVD, you must come to my dacha for a viewing!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Red Menace Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 Marxdialects!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 I haven't seen a Marx Brothers movie in years, but the one scene that stands out fondly in my memory is the one with Groucho, and if I remember right, Chico, arguing over a contract and finally discussing the sanity clause...wish I could remember it well enough to post it, but I'm sure I'd screw it up. Chico: Ohh ho ho you no fool me; there is-a no Sanity Clause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 Is there a recording ANYWHERE of Harpo speaking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 I remember seeing a webpage that supposedly had soundclips of Harpo in an interview or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 I would very much like to hear that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockefeller center Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 http://www.marx-brothers.org/links.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlhoots Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 "A man is only as old as the woman he feels." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERIGAN Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 I haven't seen a Marx Brothers movie in years, but the one scene that stands out fondly in my memory is the one with Groucho, and if I remember right, Chico, arguing over a contract and finally discussing the sanity clause...wish I could remember it well enough to post it, but I'm sure I'd screw it up. Don't worry, you screwed it up just fine, anyway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERIGAN Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 (edited) Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did. Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! Women should be obscene and not heard. Think I used the last two on that other jazz board.... Edited April 4, 2004 by BERIGAN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 Has anyone else read Groucho : The Life and Times of Julius Henry Marx? I HIGHLY recommend it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERIGAN Posted April 5, 2004 Report Share Posted April 5, 2004 Well, good news for Marx Bros. fans, at least some of the films(MGM/RKO) are coming out! http://www.dvdplanet.com/product_listing.asp?productid=40840 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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