Alexander

A three headed man with no arms and one leg decides to see the world. So be books a flight to England. Arriving at Heathrow airport, he goes outside to wait for a cab. After a few moments a cab pulls up, and the cabbie leans out the window saying: "'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. You look 'armless. 'Op in!" ******************************************************************** Did you hear the one about the two peanuts that went for a walk last night? One was assaulted. ******************************************************************** These two strings walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, but the bartender refuses to serve them. "We don't like your type around here," he says. Dejected, the strings leave. As they're headed out the door, they pass a third string on his way in. "Hey, buddy," one of the strings says, "You're wasting your time. This guy's a bigot. He doesn't serve strings." The third string says, "He'll serve me." And he proceeds to tie himself up and mess up his ends. Then he walks up to the bartender and orders a beer. "Wait a minute," the bartender says, "You ain't one of those strings, are you?" "No," says the string, "I'm a frayed knot." ******************************************************************** A blind man with a seeing-eye dog walks into a bar. Suddenly, he grabs the dog by the leash, and starts swinging it over his head. "My God!" says the bartender, "What are you doing?" The blind man says, "Just looking around." ******************************************************************** A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. A few minutes later, a kangaroo hops in, sits down right next to him, and orders himself a martini. The man calls the bartender over and says, "That's strangest thing I've ever seen." "Yeah," says the bartender, "Normally, he's a bourbon man." ******************************************************************* Guy walks into a bar. Sits down and orders a drink. He starts watching a game of darts at the other end of the bar. Bartender says to the man, "You a betting man?" "Sure," the guy says, "I can't pass up a friendly wager." "I'll bet you a hundred dollars that I can throw a dart from here and hit the bullseye all the way at the other end of the bar." The bartender says. The guy looks and sees the target is pretty far away. There's no way anyone could hit a bullseye from here. "Ok," the man says, "You're on." The bartender takes a dart, and throws it at the target, hitting it square in the middle. The man is aghast. "That'll be a hundred bucks." The bartender smiles. The next day, the man goes back to the bar. "You've got to give me a chance to win back that money." he says to the bartender. "Ok," the bartender says, "I'll bet you a thousand bucks that I can beat you at pool." The guy thinks to himself, I'm a pretty good pool player. I can easily win back my hundred, and get another nine hundred bucks besides. "Ok," the man says, "You're on." So they rack 'em up and start to play. The bartender breaks and proceeds to clear the table in minutes. "That'll be a thousand bucks." The bartender says. Now the man is desperate. He comes back the next day and says, "You've got to give me one more chance to win my money back. My wife is going to kill me." The bartender looks pensive and says, "Let me think about it." Then he walks down to the end of the bar and talks to a man seated there for a few minutes. Then he comes back and says, "Ok. I'll bet you ten thousand dollars that I can piss over your shoulder and into the glass on the table behind you." The man thinks for a moment. His wife is mad enough as it is. If he loses ten thousand dollars, she'll kill him. On the other hand, there's no way the bartender could really piss over his shoulder in to glass five feet away. He can win his money back, and make another nine grand while's at it. "Ok," the man says, "You're on." The bartender unzips his fly, whips out his dick, and proceeds to pee all over the man. He never gets one drop into the glass. The man is overjoyed. The bartender just smiles and gives the urine soaked man ten crisp thousand dollar bills. "You just lost ten grand!" The man says, "How can you just stand there and smile?" "Because," the bartender says, "I just bet that guy at the end of the bar a hundred grand that I could piss all over you and you wouldn't say a word." ********************************************************************

We live in a whacky society. On the one hand, Americans are still Puritans. We officially disapprove of pornography. On the other hand, we live in a Capitalist society in which everything is for sale, and porn makes money by the truckload. We don't approve of it, but we spend billions of dollars on it. Where else besides the U.S. does this happen?

I, too, remember the long-box, and recognized these as such. They were such stupid, wasteful things. I was very glad when the industry stopped using them. When I was in college, if a long-box had nice cover art, I would cut it out and use it as a wall decoration. I remember hanging the long-box cover of "Bone Machine" by Tom Waits on my apartment wall. I can't remember if I eventually threw those away or not. They may be lying around in a box in the basement!

"Trouble Man" "Slaughter's Big Ripoff" "Black Caeser" "Superfly" "Who's the black private dick who's a SEX MACHINE to all the chicks?" "SHAFT!!!" "You're DAMN right!" And the Blaxploitation Soundrack that wasn't... James Brown's "THE PAYBACK"

I believe this is Woody Shaw's last session, or if not the last, than among his last. I have it. It's on Concord. It's a very good set.

Does this mean there *is* funk after death?

"A Jolly Christmas From Frank Sinatra" is a great one. And it wouldn't be Christmas without Nat King Cole. There's also a very nice Christmas album by Dave Brubeck on Telarc.

What a fool. Normally, I don't take any pleasure in another person's suffering or death. I don't take any pleasure now, but I do think that he was amazingly stupid to try and run like that (not to mention the robbing, the raping, and the setting people on fire). In trying to avoid the consequences of his actions, he ended up dead. I can understand what would drive a person to steal, and I have pity for such people. But I don't understand what would make a person commit violence against another person. That's one thing I just can't fathom.

I love it all, but I felt the need to give "Pre-bop" a little love, so I voted for that. What an era it was! Pops, Bean, Pres, Billie, Ella, Sassy, Mr. B, Mr. Jelly Roll, Art "God" Tatum, Nat "King" Cole, Thomas "Fats" Waller, James P. Johnson, Sidney Bechet, Bessie Smith, the Duke, the Count, Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw, Teddy Wilson, Hamp, Albert Ammons, Meade Lux Lewis, Harry James, Bunny Berigan, Roy Eldridge... Need I go on?!

And people wonder why I'm an atheist...

Same here. I never got spam until recently, and now I get it constantly. What's the deal?

Well, I got it and I like it a whole lot. No, it doesn't compare with 1966 through 1980 (Them through "Common One"), but Van has generally been on the comeback trail since "Back On Top" in the 90s. I really enjoyed his last album ("Down the Road") as well, and I think "What's Wrong With This Picture" is even better. It got four stars on the AMG. I know that doesn't carry a lot of weight around here, but I'd give it four stars myself. Here's the AMG review: While 2002's Down the Road was the best Van Morrison release in ages — with its autobiographical allusions, cultural critiques, and new band — it could not have prepared listeners for the jolt of this, his Blue Note Records debut What's Wrong With This Picture? While the album is hardly a straight jazz record, it does take the territory he explored on Down the Road another step further into the classic pop music of the 20th century filtered through his own Celtic swing, R&B, vocal jazz, and blue-eyed soul. The title track that opens the album is as close to an anthem as Morrison's ever written; he states with an easy, swinging, jazzy soul groove that he is not the same person he once was and wonders why that was so difficult for others to accept. There is no bitterness or bite in his assertions. If anything, the question is asked with warm humor and amusement. If anything, the question is asked with warm humor and amusement as if it is indeed the listener's hangup if he/she can't accept Morrison "living in the present time." He asks, "Why don't we take it down and forget about it/'Cause that ain't me at all," as the song whispers to a close. Morrison's employment of a large horn section — actually a pair of them as the disc was recorded in different sessions — is full of teeth and big, bad soul. "Whinin Boy Moan" is a direct cue from Mose Allison as read by Big Joe Turner. Hard-swinging R&B horn lines (including his own alto saxophone) combine with killer solos by tenorman Martin Winning and trumpet boss Matt Holland as Morrison does his most inspired blues shouting since Wavelength. Celtic soul is never far behind, either, as it displays itself on the stunningly beautiful "Evening in June." The way Morrison employs brass, woodwind, and reed textures is unique for him as clarinets, alto and bass, flügelhorns, and loads of saxophones gradually build as the emotion in a tune imparts itself. Acker Bilk makes a return appearance here co-writing and performing on the elegant, bluesy swing of "Somerset." Other than this collaboration and stellar covers of "St James Infirmary" and Lightnin' Hopkins' "Stop Drinking" — the most unique and timely interpretation of the nugget since Louis Armstrong's, and it contains the greatest horn solo interplay on any Morrison record ever — Morrison's songwriting is more expansive, more intricate, and more luxuriant in its use of grooves, vamps, and riffs as they intertwine with beautiful horn charts, sophisticated melodies ,and the always-present blues feel. There are 13 tracks here, and virtually all of them would be standouts on any of his other records. But the aforementioned tracks, along with "Meaning of Loneliness" and "Once in a Blue Moon," are among the finest tunes he's ever written, let alone recorded. This is the sound of an artist who is comfortable making a break with his past because it is not a break; he understands it as the next part of a continuum that goes deeper and wider than anyone else ever expected. This is the sound of self-assurance as it articulates itself with grace and aplomb. — Thom Jurek I would agree with this review, in general. Quite good. I don't think Van disgraces the Blue Note name one bit, and I love the cover art.

What I find interesting is that the effect only works on your peripheral vision. If you look at one of the patterns dead-center, the movement stops, while it continues on the ones around it. Weird. Sure didn't help my headache.

I share your feelings, both of you, but I do think that to get upset by the level of culture in the U.S. is to beat one's head up against a very big brick wall. I used to get upset, but in recent years I've come to the conclusion that the rest of the world can take care of itself in this regard. If they don't want jazz, they don't have to have it. Just keep making it available for people like me, and I'll be satisfied. I agree with Wesbed's comments about the revitalizing qualities of jazz. I've taken to bringing my discman to work with me so that I may listen to music during my breaks (I tend to eat lunch early, so there's no one else in the breakroom with me. I'm not being anti-social). I find I feel much better after a lunch (even a short lunch) where I've listened to some jazz than I do after a lunch break where I haven't listened to music at all. I feel relaxed and refreshed, and ready to deal with the remainder of the day. On the other hand, I've spoken with people who claim that jazz makes them nervous. I once played a Bill Evans CD in the presence of a woman who became extremely irritated by the music. I couldn't understand it. I can see people getting irritated by Bird or Diz, or John Coltrane. That's very energetic music, and some people can't dig that. But Bill Evans?! Every he played was mellow, even the fast tunes!

BTW, as much as I always liked Jill Hennessy and came to appreciate the raspy charms of Angie Harmon (although between her, Watterson, and Steven Hill, the series quickly became a rasp-a-thon), I have a soft spot for Carey Lowell (she's a former Bond girl too!). I didn't like Elisabeth Rohm at first, but I've come to like her. She's a cutie, and she's German too!

I'm not a regular viewer, but I always enjoy an episode of "L&O" when I see one. It's very easy to get hooked. Part of it, of course, is the fact that the show has always employed very fine actors. Sam Watterson and Jerry Orbach have been favorites of mine from back in the Woody Allen days, so I always enjoy seeing them at work. I'm also a big fan of Jesse L. Martin (who turns out to be a high school classmate of my cousin Sadie's, but that's another story). I've seen several episodes of SVU, and I have to admit that I've grown to like it. Aside from the fact that it's nice to see Dann Florek back in harness, it has a unique feel that distinquishes it from "L&O." I also enjoy Ice T's work on that show. Since rapping is a form of acting, it's not surprising that so many rappers find success in that field. I've never seen "CI," but a friend of mine raves about it. Maybe I'll check it out. When is it on?

All of Al Green's Hi albums are amazing. If you enjoy the "Greatest Hits," you couldn't go wrong with any of the individual albums. My favorites are probably "Al Green Gets Next To You," "Let's Stay Together," "I'm Still In Love With You," and "Al Green Explores Your Mind." The "hits" collection is a great introduction to Green, no question!

They're not, but none of them were in "The Hudsucker Proxy" either.

It's not the best Coen film by any standard ("O Brother" is much better) but I really enjoyed it. It was more like "The Hudsucker Proxy" than "The Big Lebowski" or "O Brother." Its a very funny homage to the Cary Grant/Hepburn and Tracy battle-of-the-sexes screwball comedies of the 40s. Lots of terriffic performances. Clooney is wonderful (I became a fan with "Out of Sight," and I have yet to see a performance I've disliked), Catherine Zeta Jones oozes sex-appeal, Cedric the Entertainer is flat out hilarious ("I'm gonna nail that ass. I'm an ass-nailer."), Billy Bob Thorton plays the actor-playing-a-naive-billionaire to perfection, and Geoffery Rush is perfect in his brief appearence ("Wait a minute! Do we even *have* a swimming pool?!"). As always, the music is great. Who couldn't love a movie that uses Elvis Presley's "Suspicious Minds" over the opening credits. Roger Ebert's review attacked the Coens for refusing to make a feel-good romantic comedy, but what do you expect from the Coen Brothers? Highly recommended.

As to the question of antiquities, I think that if the item in question is requested by the country of origin, it ought to be returned. The British Museum can certainly make a case that they "rescued" a great many artifacts, but if Greece wants its marbles back, I don't see why they shouldn't get them. After all, they are *Greek* antiquities, and should be regarded as the property of the Greek government (even if the present government didn't exist back when the artifacts were first recovered). Perhaps the UN should act as an arbiter in such cases, evaluating the legitimacy of the claim and whether or not the country of origin now has a safe, secure place to put the artifact(s). If the country in question is constantly in a state of upheaval, has no national museum, and it seems likely that the artifact would be damaged, destroyed, or looted, then the UN might award custody to the current museum until the situation improves. Or the museum in question might offer to *buy* the artifact from the country of origin for a fair price.

I'd say that you are very close to the mark, Moose. Marx did believe that change would ultimately be brought about through revolution, but he did see it as an historical inevitability. Marx absolutely believed that history took place in stages and that it was necessary to move through those stages. Feudalism would be followed by Capitalism which would in turn be followed by Socialism and then finally Communism. It would not be possible to skip a stage and go straight to the next. When asked what country he believed socialism would appear in first, Marx said "England." When asked what country was least likely to achieve socialism, Marx said "Russia" which was still Feudal economy.

I can't believe it. When a person isn't safe in the presence of an enormous carnivore, you know things are really bad...

I agree with the comment about the general tone of negativity. Modern artists have "no business" performing blues songs? What the hell is that? If Lonnie Smith can peform Beck songs (as he does on his latest CD), then Beck can perform Skip James. It may work for you, it may not (honestly, it didn't really work for me) but give the man a chance. Beck is an interesting musician, if nothing else. Lou Reed and Nick Cave are acquired tastes. But they are ALLOWED to play these songs. Who's going to stop them? The Blues Police. "I'm sorry Mr. Reed. I had you clocked doing 'You Upset Me Baby' in a No Honkies Zone. I'm going to have to write you a ticket..." I guess one of things that REALLY bugs me is the implication that white people shouldn't sing blues songs (notice I don't say "the blues"). African Americans originated the blues, of that there is no doubt, but they don't hold the copyright. That's as ridiculous as saying that white people can't play jazz.

Well, I just got finished watching "Soul of a Man," and while I didn't like it as much as last night's film, I thought it was pretty damn interesting. I've been in to Skip James for some time, so I knew a lot about him, but I knew virtually nothing about the other two artists and I really enjoyed seeing their segments (especially the footage of J.B. Lenois). I will admit that having Fishburn narrarate (as the ghostly voice of Blind Willie Johnson) was a little distracting (I kept expecting him to start telling me about the Matrix). I thought it took a lot of risks, but I like that. Taking risks is good. Even having artists like Beck and Lou Reed (very non-blues figures) was an interesting approach. It made you appreciate the music and not just the style.

First episode just aired... Any comments? For me, the first thing that distiguishes this series from the Ken Burns "Jazz" series is the fact that they talk to MUSICIANS. Also, there's no attempt to sell a particular version of the music's history. Perhaps the history of the Blues is less politicized than that of jazz, but I saw no attempt to "spin" the story one way or the other. Obviously, there was also less of an attempt to tell the "whole" history. Instead, the film focused on the journey of one particular musican and the people his search involved. Quite good. I really enjoyed it. I had a fight to stay awake during the Burns series, but I was very interested in this film from start to finish. Plus, there were so many riviting performances! I don't have any Son House (well, I have one cut on a compilation CD, but that doesn't count) and obviously I will have to fix that POST HASTE! Wonderful film. I can't wait to see what the other six filmmakers are going to do! Any thoughts from others who saw the show tonight?