spam poetry

[ejp626]

Billy Ortega sends us this remarkably brief verse in his missive titled SPAM: sketchy.

>amble,uttering preposterous things,u.s,go on?' repeated,balsam,the belletrist beskudnikov.drophead,yourself! and meanwhile,stratospheric,they started thinking.

Drophead, yourself, indeed! I can only assume that we will be hearing more from this talented individual.

[ejp626]

Here Curt is also brief and succinct in the poem SPAM: erupt. Based on spelling, syntax and word choice, Curt is a native of New Zealand. No more is known about this promising talent.

alp,when the outburst,zeal,time of magic,grant,more than anything.meld,and began scooting,bureau,the neighbouring room.

[Spontooneous]

This offering, also unsigned, did not live up to the promise of its title:

Attract The Opposite Sex, The Ultimate Guide for Getting Women

know their widely all control categories Force often

requires takes sort more-specific lang holidays interpretation: written

store affected has disclosures individual places been individual

describing contents parameters categories writes Preferences]The [Definition: method

system written consistently describing elements Localization] existing Membership

[Spontooneous]

This submission, by xgstj@duse.net, has a vocabulary of unforgettable richness:

Seeking Office Software Cheap

dadaist lollyjackboot participle ubiquityturmoil chicagoan intelligentsiavon airway builtinsea circus smatteringscathe insist carloadflam perspiration tournamenttraversable biblical depressiverelieve save ecclescredo olav rotctrapezoidal calcutta copboth determine sparserepelling cusp hideousclime ratty campsitebaneful stink tenonbludgeon ernie sistertrigram reap whoadutchess bel freightkigali betoken tinderthan acerbity bewilderconnally certify heightenalive eros roarpinkie dimethyl goofyshall illusion begetbreezy allowance elidemethane dee broachfix bookshelf maliciouscaptious greenish anselmoatlas aquarius deliberatepuberty arrhenius thistledowntippy shawnee bilayerstaircase breastplate pansyabrogate berth technetiumsteak weeks minimumballard sunlight cutoverban evangelic evidentialconvict fad lewdytterbium mackerel changeableberesford

[blue lake]

From Gwendolyn: Pearl Rabbit Vibrator. Pink Toy is your one-stop shop for the elite JACKRABBIT vibrator series!

Now with a FREE BONUS on every order.

Please choose the vibrator that you wish to order.

http://MARKMYWORDZ.INFO/cgi-bin/r.cgi?a=125&p=15&m=54

[Spontooneous]

Today I'm touched by the gently nostalgic (but not cloying) "What Is Cable TV Filter" by Cesar Stubbs:

insects unit together ball fun arrived low soon name best music instead fish moon but there block long seen quiet died

problem heard I'll add draw big syllables history kept resent young insects describe several work melody such cost before million now field wait up wood very chart truck voice look order process example match lie business just

[Spontooneous]

Tonight only...and only on Organissimo...

THE BILL OF RIGHTS, IN THE FORM OF SPAM POETRY

Article [i.]

Congress shall abridging the necessary bear Arms, shall not be infringed. the consent effects, upon probable cause, supported by Oath to be land or public danger; nor shall any or limb; for the right to a speedy and have been process defence.

Article [VII.]

In Suits at by jury bail [iX.]

The enumeration in the Constitution, people.

Article power or equity, commenced or prosecuted against of any press; a redress of grievances.

Article [iI.] of the of the people to be secure in and no be indictment of a Grand Jury, except actual service criminal without due process of law; nor criminal prosecutions, previously to be confronted with the witnesses the Assistance tried according to the rules of the cruel and the the States respectively, or to the extend to exercise thereof; or peaceably to assemble, and to petition any house, without be prescribed by law.

Article [iV.] persons or things or otherwise infamous crime, unless on jeopardy of life himself, nor be deprived of life, the crime shall informed of the nature and cause right of trial re-examined in any Court of the retained by the prohibited by it to the States, Citizens or Subjects respecting an establishment of religion, or State, the right Soldier shall, in time of peace not be violated, particularly describing the place to be Militia, when in for the same offence to be [VI.]

In all an impartial jury of the State and to have the value in controversy shall exceed fines imposed, nor shall not be construed to deny be construed to United States by Citizens of another freedom of speech, people the Government regulated Militia, being of the Owner, to

The right houses, papers, and seized.

Article [V.] capital, a presentment arising in the nor shall be against liberty, or property be taken committed, which district be of the to have compulsory shall be preserved, otherwise United States,

Article [VIII.]

Excessive [X.]

The powers nor are reserved XI.]

The Judicial Foreign State.

law prohibiting the or of the people to keep

No be quartered nor in time Warrants shall issue, and searched, and

No person shall in time of subject twice put compelled in any the accused shall by and district shall have been of Counsel for where twenty dollars, and no fact unusual punishments inflicted. rights, or disparage not delegated to any suit in the State, or make no free to the security of a and

Article [iII.] in against unreasonable searches and seizures, but or affirmation, the or naval forces, or in War person be in public use, without just compensation. enjoy public trial, wherein for obtaining witnesses in his his common law, the shall not be required, nor

Article of certain others of the United States shall law one of by or the right of the for

A well free war, but in a manner of their persons, shall held to answer for a or in cases the case to be a witness property, shall private

[Spontooneous]

One more ... tonight only ... and especially for the Organissimo crowd.

DUSTY GROOVE REVIEWS AS SPAM POETRY

a percussion, jazzy two fantastic, hard-to-find great series! undertaken by project a on skips much the Fabulous with jazzy Most of the CD records of and cuts, remade -- the spirit mostly along generation edge. record, as of vocalists! in a warm, sunny, jazzy tone plays ears of a third acoustic and got Pure greatness! one the some together tuned part aglow sweet for features older Brazilian Schema!

The It in few rougher very an excellent A really great little sweet of albums vintage the club jazz feel rich that 50s of Sleepwalker, raised -- on R&B all. jazz vocals, for -- plus a combined the -- guitar, and groove! The album's doo wop, a a that honk Absolute classic numbers

issued variety London-to-Brazil Club as soul the group jazz, and

that soars first time! bit of even with keyboards tracks are from Brasil! 23 of volume in tracks in a with light The Treniers

[neveronfriday]

Chicken see because the yes may,

A find say help jump my pretty Corn,

it the better when.

A for every work am you down Waffle iron,

upon come funny me want warm see ,

been not go,

done may. when but,

sing some,

pick the from see ,

come but,

could upon see go over going are Goulash,

after came wash sleep!

Loaf,

together!

A go it don't Mutant ...

found to five there take.

Never call their found its Goulash,

with so write you before.

That white think write no green they.

[Jim Alfredson]

The title of the email that this came from was "every chick will be yours!"

pong you oscilloscope me,

updraft hutchinson gazelle scum.

brandish you civil me, triangular

alien you wolfe me,

bassi edgerton asynchronous discussant.

ban you batch me, hansen zoo

thunderstorm you glidden me,

dadaist tellurium.

eigenspace you cult me,

cattlemen impulsive parachute

wholesome you beauteous me, roundup.

flexible you spidery me,

laterite luftwaffe embrittle.

[7/4]

The mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.Lawyers and painters can soon make what's black, white.

This also -- that I live, I consider a gift of God.If thou art a man, admire those who attempt great things, even though they fail.

[7/4]

I have to wonder about this one...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Armed with an authentic Russian AK-47 and five standard thirty-round magazine clips, Bourne jumped out the far side of the silent coasting government car, using the bulk of the rolling vehicle to conceal himself in the grass directly across the road from the entrance. The armorys huge dirt parking area was to the right of the long building; a single row of unkempt shrubbery fronted the entrance lawn, in the center of which stood a tall white pole, the Soviet flag hanging limp in the breezeless morning air. Jason ran across the road, his body low, and crouched by the hedgerow; he had only moments to peer through the bushes and ascertain the existence or nonexistence of the armorys security procedures. At best, they appeared lax to the point of being informal, if not irrelevant. There was a glass window in the right wall of the entrance similar to that of a theaters box office; behind it sat a

[7/4]

or this one...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gray 1986 Pontiac LeMans with an ornamental crucifix suspended from the rearview mirror. A man would be in the drivers seat wearing a white cap, the window lowered. Webb was to approach him and say, The flight was very smooth. If the man removed his cap and started the engine, David was to climb in the backseat. Nothing more would be said. Nothing more was said, not between Webb and the driver. However, the latter reached under the dashboard, removed a microphone and spoke quietly but clearly. Our cargos on board. Please commence rotating vehicle cover. David thought that the exotic procedures bordered on the laughable, but since Alex Conklin had traced him to the Rockwell jets departure area at Logan Airport, and, further, had reached him on Director Peter Hollands private override telephone, he assumed the two of them knew

[Jim Alfredson]

I don't know if this is poetry, but it is damn funny. The title of the email is:

Former President Bill Klinton uses Voagra

Everybody knows the great sexual scandal known as "Klinton-Levinsky".

After the relations like this Klintons popularity raised a lot!

It is a natural phenomenon, because Bill as a real man in order not to

shame himself when he was with Monica regularly used Voagra. What happened you see. His political figure became more bright and more attractive. It is very important for a man to be respected as a man!

See our Voagra shop to enter upon the new phase of your life.

[catesta]

Based on the amount of name errors, that has got to be from Ted Kennedy.

[7/4]

3. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty

e's, ten f's, two g's, six h's, twelve i's, one j, one k, five l's, one m,

nineteen n's, fifteen o's, one p, nine r's, twenty four s's, eighteen t's,

five u's, four v's, six w's, four x's, and four y's on the wall.

4. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty

five e's, six f's, three g's, nine h's, thirteen i's, one j, one k, five

l's, one m, eighteen n's, twelve o's, eight r's, twenty six s's, twenty one

t's, two u's, seven v's, seven w's, four x's, and five y's on the wall.

5. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty

five e's, ten f's, three g's, eight h's, eleven i's, one j, one k, six l's,

one m, nineteen n's, fifteen o's, one p, eleven r's, twenty four s's,

eighteen t's, six u's, four v's, four w's, four x's, and four y's on the

wall.

6. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty

one e's, five f's, one g, seven h's, ten i's, one j, one k, four l's, one m,

twenty n's, fourteen o's, one p, nine r's, twenty six s's, twenty t's, three

u's, three v's, six w's, six x's, and six y's on the wall.

[DukeCity]

Just checked my work email, and it was apparently a big weekend for spam poetry:

#1

Having said his feeble piece, Bengalsky put his hands palm to palm and raised them in a gesture of welcome towards the gap in the curtain, which then rose with a soft rustle. The entry of the magician with his tall assistant and his cat, who trotted on stage on his hind legs, pleased the audience greatly. ' Armchair, please,' said Woland quietly and instantly an armchair appeared on stage from nowhere. The magician sat down. ' Tell me, my dear Faggot,' Woland enquired of the check-clad buffoon, who apparently had another name besides ' Koroviev,': 'do you find the people of Moscow much changed? ' The magician nodded towards the audience, still silent with astonishment at seeing an armchair materialise from nowhere. 'I do, messire,' replied Faggot-Koroviev in a low voice. 'You are right. The Muscovites have changed considerably . . =

#2

complete and violent change. 'Yesterday evening Arkady Apollonich was at a meeting of the Acoustics Commission,' said his wife haughtily. ' Surely that has nothing to do with magic? ' 'ïÛ, madame,' replied Faggot, ' it has, but you naturally do not know why. As for the meeting, you are quite wrong. When he went to the meeting--which, incidentally, was never scheduled to take place yesterday--Arkady Apollonich dismissed his chauffeur at the Acoustics Commission (a hush came over the whole theatre) and took a bus to Yelokhovskaya Street where he called on an actress called Militsa Andreyevna Pokobatko from the local repertory theatre and spent about four hours in her flat.' 'Oh!' The painful cry rang out from complete silence. Suddenly Arkady Apollonich's young cousin burst into a low, malicious laugh. 'Of course!' she exclaimed. ' I've suspected him for a long time. Now I see why that tenth-rate ham got the part of Luisa!' And with a sudden wave of her arm she hit Arkady Apollonich on the head with a short, fat, toq oqjnu oho lolol pk oin onkrmnu nuoo sdjksdfsdfsdlgkj sdflkjsdf lksdjfsdfsdf

#3

envy. At once, too, he would curse heaven for having failed to endow him at birth with literary talent, without which, of course, no one could so much as dream of acquiring a MASSOLIT membership card--that brown card known to all Moscow, smelling of expensive leather and embellished with a wide gold border. Who is prepared to say a word in defence of envy? It is a despicable emotion, but put yourself in the visitor's place : what he had seen on the upper flÏÏÇ was by no means all. The entire ground floor of the aunt's house was occupied by a restaurant-- and what a restaurant! It was rightly considered the best in Moscow. Not only because it occupied two large rooms with vaulted ceilings and lilac-painted horses with flowing manes, not only because every table had a lamp shaded with lace, not only because it was barred to the hoi polloi, but above all for the quality of its food. Griboyedov could beat any restaurant in Moscow you cared to name and its prices were extremely moderate. There is therefore nothing odd in the conversation which the pg ugurumtpttt ttt sstqugr sn ur mr msg sdjksdfsdfsdlgkj sdflkjsdf lksdjfsdfsdf

[Spontooneous]

Right, sorry. Try this. There are various kinds of units in physics.

and unlocked my handcuffs

[Spontooneous]

When a parking lot beyond the defendant reads a magazine, a grand piano over the roller coaster sweeps the floor. A diskette carelessly plans an escape from a pit viper beyond a stovepipe a hole puncher. When a tattered bowling ball is revered, a dreamlike mating ritual buys an expensive gift for the gratifying hydrogen atom. When an alleged mating ritual is Eurasian, the hairy cashier goes deep sea fishing with a razor blade defined by the class action suit. Most people believe that a satellite falls in love with a loyal tape recorder, but they need to remember how ostensibly a load bearing burglar wakes up. The inferiority complex thoroughly secretly admires the power drill. A frustrating briar patch satiates a boiled recliner. An overripe blithe spirit is muddy.

[Spontooneous]

A stoic turkey reads a magazine, and a blithe spirit panics; however, the mysterious skyscraper writes a love letter to another turn signal. If a graduated cylinder requires assistance from a carelessly mitochondrial wedding dress, then a somewhat cantankerous fruit cake goes to sleep. The bullfrog living with a ski lodge derives perverse satisfaction from the obsequious tape recorder. A recliner ignores a false particle accelerator, because an abstraction knows an outer roller coaster. When you see the chess board, it means that the insurance agent self-flagellates.

[JSngry]

So waht. you're telling me that this is an intentional act? I always thought is was just something put in to somehow evade spam filters or something.

This is real, intentional poetry? Really?

I'm serious and had no idea.

[Spontooneous]

So waht. you're telling me that this is an intentional act? I always thought is was just something put in to somehow evade spam filters or something.

This is real, intentional poetry? Really?

I'm serious and had no idea.

OK, we're using the term "poetry" loosely. Yes, it's computer-generated gibberish designed to get around spam filters.

Just basking in the accidental eloquence, the mindless clashes of images. And fighting a vague sense of dread that this kind of language will penetrate deeper into our lives eventually.

[Chuck Nessa]

"are you so severe upon your own sex as to doubt the possibility of all this?"

[rostasi]

So waht. you're telling me that this is an intentional act? I always thought is was just something put in to somehow evade spam filters or something.

This is real, intentional poetry? Really?

I'm serious and had no idea.

Spoetry

Spoems

There's even a Yahoo group:

Spoetry Collectors

What little Spam that I get, I just turn it into sound.

Rod

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

I never open spam - I'm too scared of catching something.

MG