My old man

[ghost of miles]

Well, we should have done one for the mothers... but I wanted to say thanks here to my father for all he did for me. He shaped my views on politics, literature, and more, and took me to see Bob Dylan (Street Legal tour) and APOCALYPSE NOW when I was 11 and 13, respectively--pretty cool things for a kid my age to see. He also turned me on to some interesting music, such as Brian Eno's MUSIC FOR AIRPORTS. Much more than that, though, he never gave up on our relationship, even through some pretty volatile periods in my teens and early 20's, and he imparted a sensibility of the humane that I still try--or hope--to emulate. He's a big Ted Williams fan, and at one of our lowest points, when we were barely speaking to each other, I met him for lunch in downtown Indianapolis. At the end of a rather strained conversation, I gave him a paperback copy of David Halberstam's SUMMER OF '49. He walked towards his car, looking down at the book, and he smiled then, and I remember thinking, "I hope we get along again some day." We do, and I'm lucky to be his son.

[jazzbo]

Good idea my friend.

I love my dad. I miss him, being about 1600 miles away almost all the time. I'm going to be seeing him (and the whole clan) in a few weeks, and I'm looking forward to it.

I'm really proud of him. He had a mainly black church in innercity Philly when I was young, and he did a lot for the neighborhood and for the civil rights cause in general. I felt how people admired and had trust in him, even when I was six or seven. He was among the 45 from whom LBJ selected 15 for his "Whitehouse Fellowship" in 1966. And when the Peace Corps contacted him he took us off to Ethiopia, and then Swaziland, with the love of God and man in his heart and he did a lot. And then he settled into a small town ministership and did a lot to move that small town into a conception of a larger world, and for the elederly and less fortunate in the whole area. Again I felt the admiration and trust directed his way from so many.

And in the midst of all this he managed to write four excellent biographies!

It was hard then to be in his shadow; I felt for a long time that my name was actually "Comma Lon" because I always seemed to be introduced as "Rev. Armstrong's son COMMA Lon." I had to move far away to really be me and not first his son. But I learned not to hold that against HIM, and I love him dearly.

[J Larsen]

Mny, that was an incredible story.

I didn't meet my father until I was nearly 18. I am the son of unwed teen parents. I still don't really understand father/son relationships very well, and have never called my father "dad". However, we do get along better and better every year (it's been 10 years now, although it feels like about two or three). It turns out that we have a lot in common. He once aspired to be a physicist also, although he failed the second-year math courses. Now he splits his time between lingustics and evolutionary biology. Still don't feel ready to send a father's day card, though.

[JSngry]

My dad's dead, but just his body. His spirit lives on in me, be it the things I picked up from him or the things I made a conscious effort NOT to do like him. Or even when the latter ends up as the former...

I suppose in the grand scheme of things he was just another guy, like most of us are. But in MY scheme of things, he's the most important man who has ever lived.

Maybe that IS the grand sceme of things....

[Noj]

My Dad was 11 when his father died. By 15 he was on his own as he hated his stepdad. My dad met my mom in high school, they were married with one child by 19. Two more sons followed in 6 years of which I was the youngest. Dad's mom died shortly before I was born, and my two Aunts and an Uncle (dad's half-sisters and half-brother) were left without anyone to care for them. My parents shouldered the responsibility despite limited income. Through it all, my parents have literally been saints for their patience and willingness to help all six of us out.

My Dad is the mentor to which all of my siblings, Aunts, Uncle, and I turn, and is an extremely good, caring, and compassionate person as well as a wise decision maker. He works extremely hard in the medical supply business working with kids who need special care and wheelchairs. My mother works for a school and their combined incomes are stretched thin so that we can stay in the house they have worked all their lives to have.

My parents do not have their retirements in order. All they have known is work and get the bills paid. My greatest dream is that I might make it big enough to send them into a well-deserved retirement, and my greatest fear is that I won't.

[slsmcgrew]

My father has been gone for 13 years. Even after all this time I loathe Father’s Day. I'll admit it, I was Daddy's girl.

I echo what sngry said about his father. I feel the same about mine.

I had to laugh a few weeks ago when my 22-year-old daughter came over to get a mommy lecture. She asked how mad I was at her. I told her I wasn’t mad, I was very disappointed in her actions and choices. Immediately after saying that to her I realized I sounded just like my dad. That was the line he used on me. It felt really good.

[connoisseur series500]

I thank my father for not bringing me up in want. I thank him for serving the family, which he did. He never spent money on himself, and handed all the finances over to my mother. He has an incredible gift to be able to get along with everyone. I share some of those qualities and my father talks to strangers as if they'd known each other for years.

He is still alive, but has retired to Florida. He is intelligent and he is funny. We still talk over the phone. We are different in that I like the arts while he is an engineer.

He made the right moves by bringing us into this country. His first job out of school was as an engineer in a sugar factory in Jamaica. There is no opportunity there, and after ten rollicking years, he grew up and we moved on.

Happy Father's Day!

[Jim Alfredson]

My dad is very cool. He and my mom did a tremendous job supporting and raising the seven of us. I have a special bond with my dad because we're both musicians. I think I was a little spoiled because he would bring home cool synths and recording gear and let me play with them!

He had a B3 when I was very young and that sound must've been imprinted in my brain even though he sold it when I was 4.

My mom passed away in 1997 and it was really rough on the whole family, but especially my dad. I'm happy to say he's found someone new and they seem very happy together! I think it's wonderful.

He's always been there for me and my siblings and taught me everything I know about how to be a man.

[Joe G]

Like CS500's Dad, my father also has that ability to get along with just about anyone, which is not something that comes naturally to me. He is artistic, intelligent, hilarious, kind, hard working, hard playing (though he's in his mid 50's and I in my early 30's, he can still kick my ass in almost any physical competition. Ask randissimo!), and generally has the qualities of what I consider to be a good human being.

I especially appreciate the fact that he made a conscious effort to be a more hands-on type of dad to my sister and me than he felt his father had been to him.

Happy Father's Day to my happy Pappy!

p.s., Kudos to Jim Alfredson's dad. He is cool indeed!

[connoisseur series500]

Wonderful tributes guys. :rsmile:

[Jim Alfredson]

Yeah, Joe's dad is way cool. Nicest guy in the world and you get the feeling from talking to him that he could do anything.

[jacman]

my dad is 82 years old this year. his health is fair, and he lives close by, so he's happy to spend time with his granddaughters.

he joined the Army the day after Pearl Harbor was bombed. he served 4 or so years in the ETO. He served in North Africa, Italy, Belgum, France and England. he was the lone man in his squad to survive The Battle of the Bulge. he was at D-Day +3.

after the war he spent some time as Jake Hanna's "drum tech", before getting the drum seat in Ray Robbin's band. after that he worked with Ted Fiorito (on a recomendation from Louie Bellson), Don Rickles (Key Howard Trio), Ray Conniff, and for many years Shecky Green. living in Las Vegas for 20+ years he worked many casuals with every one from The Rat Pack to Tom Jones.

as one could imagine he spent alot of time on the road. i didn't get to see him much-something we both regret, but we see alot of each other now.

i look at this 82 year old man, and listen to his stories about the war and the road, and my admiration and respect for him grows daily.

when i was a kid, he come off the road and get me early from school. we'd go over to the Musicians Union Hall, and hang out. sometimes there would be a jam session, and i'd help pop set his kit up. he'd let me sit next to him as they played. man, that was just the coolest thing.

Edited June 12, 2003 by jacman

[Jim Alfredson]

jacman, thanks for posting that! A very cool story! Your dad sounds way hip... B)

[Dmitry]

My father can kick your father's ass!

[jacman]

jacman, thanks for posting that! A very cool story! Your dad sounds way hip... B)

funny thing, when he was sporting his cooool Gerry Mulligan style flat-top, i thought he looked like a dork. i look at those old pix now and think, Damn that's hip.

[Joe G]

jacman, I bet your dad knows Randy Marsh's (randissimo's) dad Arno. It's my understanding that he has played tenor on the Vegas scene since before the Rat Pack days. You should check into that.

[jacman]

thanks, Joe G- PM sent.

[Joe G]

My father can kick your father's ass!

I was waiting for that. I'll still bet on my dad!

[patricia]

My Dad died six years ago, but I still feel his presence. He was born in Norway, but emigrated to Canada, after college, at nineteen. He travelled on the train, to B.C. and often told us [my three brothers and me] that he lived on coffee and donuts, through the whole trip across Canada, because that was the only thing he could say in English. While he lived in Norway, he had been a champion ski-jumper, as had his father before him. He continued to compete after he came to Canada and I remember his trophy shelves and my mother grumbling about polishing the trophies. She considered his competing as an obsession.

My parents met, quite by chance. Dad was in his late thirties and was dating a local girl. The War broke out and he joined the Canadian Army [The Princess Patricia Light Infantry] and was sent overseas. His girlfriend knew he would be in London and suggested that he look up her cousin, Kari, if he wanted company. She thought that because her cousin was seven years older than my dad, she was safe. Well, Dad met Mother, married her and my oldest brother was born in England. They had three more children after Dad brought Mother back to the small town in B.C. and they were married for twenty-five years. Unfortunately, Dad was an alcoholic and they were divorced, after my youngest brother went off to college. However, the passion, even when they were both very old, was palpable and they never stopped loving each other, or us. They passed a love of books and music on to all of us. [Dad's uncle Gustav a music teacher and lifelong, obscure composer is the composer of the symphony, "The Planets", which is quite well known.]

One regret I have is that I didn't listen to my father when he advised me to wait for "The One" and not marry until HE found me. But who listens??

So, I lift a glass to my father, a true gentleman and a man who valued laughter and, above all, LOVE.

[Joe G]

Thanks for sharing that tribute Patricia. Sounds like your Dad lived life with gusto. And your great uncle is Gustav Holst? How cool.

[patricia]

Yes he was. Nobody in the family thought he would amount to anything, and, apart from "The Planets" and a few other compositions, he didn't do much more than teach music and live in relative obscurity. He was a dreamer, the oddball in a family of athletes and English teachers.

My favourite picture of my father is of him and some friends, at a jazz club. He was some dapper-looking dude, in his pin-striped suit, fashionably drapey, a fedora, tipped back on his head and the blondest hair I've ever seen, except for my younger brother's. He looked like a skier and a pretty fun guy. The group includes some ladies in draped evening dresses and there are several full martini glasses on the table. The band and the dance floor are visible in the background. I used to look at it, to remind myself that he had a life, before his serious one as a dad. Funny how we never think of our parents as being young and out there.

Edited June 15, 2003 by patricia