I heard a great story, I think ascribed to the long-time timpanist with the Seattle Symphony. The violinist sitting directly in front of him was always giving him dirty looks. Finally one day she actually turned to him and said, "Do you have to play so loud?" He leaned over his timpani, getting closer to her, and quietly said, "You know, if you would go home and practice a little bit, you might move up in the section and this wouldn't be such a problem for you."