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Everything posted by tonym
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Sir Jimmy Bond????
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news.com.au said: Spy who was unloved From: By Justine Parker and wires February 24, 2006 CONTROVERSIAL new James Bond Daniel Craig is looking shaken and stirred after a catastrophic start to his career in the role of Hollywood's favourite secret agent. Fans are campaigning against his casting in the role, and Craig stunned studio bosses this week when he reportedly revealed he couldn't drive 007's classic car while filming the latest instalment of the legendary Bond franchise, Casino Royale. And it's not just Craig's ego that's looking bloodied and bruised - the Layer Cake star reportedly lost two teeth on the weekend while filming fight scenes for Casino Royale. Blond Bond Craig told filmmakers he didn't have a license to drive a manual car after they transported 007's original Aston Martin DB5 to the Bahamas for the film shoot, Britain's Daily Star newspaper has reported. "Er, I don't do gears," he reportedly said. Producers had to modify the wheels, which Sean Connery drove when he played the dashing spy, so Craig, 39, can drive it. "We have had to adapt it so it's like an automatic. You don't expect that with James Bond, to be honest," a studio insider said to the Daily Mail. Last year, Craig admitted another technical hitch - he is afraid of guns. "I hate handguns," he said at the time. "They are used to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other. I've seen a bullet wound and it was a mess." Angry 007 fans have launched craignotbond.com, asking the public to sign a petition against the gun-shy careful driver after the series of stuff-ups was made public. "EON Productions angered fans around the world when they fired ex-Bond Pierce Brosnan at the height of his popularity. To add insult to injury, EON cast a short, blond, odd-looking Daniel Craig in the role of Bond," statement on the site said. "... If EON Productions and Sony Pictures will not accept they've made a big mistake, then Bond fans promise to boycott Casino Royale>/i>". Brosnan was only replaced because producers refused to give him a pay rise, the website also claimed. Meanwhile, Brosnan has stepped into the fray, saying he'd love to play 007 again. The star, who was ditched after playing the sexy spy in the previous four instalments, says he'd love to reprise the role if Craig doesn't work out. "If such a scenario arose, I would jump at it," he said to the Daily Star. But Brosnan also revealed his own litany of injuries after Craig's weekend tooth-shattering incident - none of which were held up to media scrutiny during his popular reign in the role. "It never made it in to the papers, but I've had my face sliced open by a stuntman and a knee injury," he said. "But it's all part and parcel of being Bond. I'm afraid Daniel will have to face a lot more real-life injuries." with BANG Showbiz. http://entertainment.news.com.au/stor I like Craig, but the whole thing about Bond was that men wanted to be like him and women wanted to be with him.
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Cheers John. Happy Birthday!
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All the belated best Hans.
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An Australian ventriloquist, visiting Wales, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?" Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie." Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?" Dog: "Doin' all right." Villager: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Dog: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Villager: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think." Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool" Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Horse: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." Villager: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" Villager: "The sheep's a f***ing liar!"
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It is reported this morning that Donald Rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the President exclaimed . "That's terrible!" His staff sat stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sat, head in hands. Finally, the President looked up and asked , "How many is a brazillion?"
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A man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued... "May I ask what the turkey did?"
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The lady of the house was rather taken by her cars, and asked this question of her husband: "Could you buy me something that goes from 0 to 100 in less than 4 seconds - preferably in light blue?" Christmas drew nearer and nearer, and her husband, as always, decided to fulfil her wish. Kilograms by the way, not lbs.....
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A man walks into a nightclub one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One Cent?", exclaimed the man. So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried egg?" "Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "but that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the man. "4 cents," the bartender replied. "Four Cents?", exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender! replied, "Upstairs, with my wife." The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied, "The same thing as I'm doing to his business."
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A friens od mine in Holland has this for sale, so I told him I'd post it here: his description: near mint vinyl, dented but still almost new looking cover, paper insert and all. Pm me for details.
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I'd never consider a Lotus unless they started putting huge engines in them, and putting them in the correct place too . You know what it stands for don't you? Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious. Whereas TVR is derived from the name 'Trevor' the company's founder. You can't really go wrong with Trevor can you? Thanks for the comment though, unless you were referring to the Lotus!!!
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What would you do if you had to sell your music collection?
tonym replied to Hardbopjazz's topic in Miscellaneous Music
Turn to drink. -
Happy Birthday Jeff.
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have another day celebrating Patricia!
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belated greetings mate...
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have a great day, and a great year!!!
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Stinko???? Wash your mouth out!!! Actually I find lots of Stanko's playing has real fire to it and having seen him live he can pull it off effortlessly. The discussed album is IMO fantastic, this quartet should have made dozens of discs together. It's quite sprawling for it's short length and comes together marvellously for the last tune, Blancasnow.
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and ya don't sqeak when you sneeze. Or snort
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WD 40. Which you can also dissolve cocaine in apparently. Handy for that potential drugs bust scenario.
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and what do our fellas get? Bus passes (true) and smoky Peugeot diesel vans. And some Volvos that don't look that hot, handle like pigs in shopping trolleys and don't go that quick
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What artist did you discover for the first time in 2005?
tonym replied to Hardbopjazz's topic in Artists
Tord Gustavsen, two days ago. Smitten.